The Shepherdess and the Lion
by Aria Blue
Summary: After season 2 finale. From Sookie's perspective. Sookie experiences something very traumatic, and learns Eric is not coping well with the loss of Godric. Can they help each other, and actually be friends or will their combined misery destroy them both?
1. Chapter 1

**

**This is told from Sookie's perspective, in the style of the books. Remember this, because Sookie can be incredibly naive and things are not always as they seem. **

**There may be spoilers from the book later. I would appreciate reviews because this is my "first time" with fanfic and Sookie's voice is not my usual writing style, so I am not sure if it is coming off the way I intend it to!**

**P.S- There ARE some sappy feely bits in here, but I swear Eric is not turning into Edward Cullen! This is a DARK story. Maybe Eric and Sookie get together in the end... or maybe, not. The title is a hint of the very very basic plot. There is violence, and a bit of smutty goodness.  
**

* * *

_I shook in the still darkness, naked and cold, my arms wrapped tight around my knees as I rocked... trying to calm myself down, trying to breathe properly- but no thought that entered my head allowed me to slow my breath. This might be my last night alive. I had killed a Vampire. I was awaiting my punishment. There was no way to escape. Nobody to save me... "Please, PLEASE!" I screamed at nobody in particular, because I knew that nobody would be listening. "I'm not ready to die! I REALLY...DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!" I decided to allow myself to be hysterical. But it didn't matter. Because there wasn't anyone who could save me. Nobody who wanted to save me.  
_

* * *

It was a Sunday evening, and I was trying to distract myself by painting my toenails in bed. The polish was a dark dusty pink, the one that had been Gram's favourite on me. She said it was the perfect shade to match my tanned skin and hair. It hadn't been dark long but I was already in my nightgown.

If this had been a normal Sunday evening, I probably would have been curled up in Bill's arms watching a movie in his livingroom, which is what we usually did on Sundays since it was half price rental day. I always looked forward to that, and that is why I needed distractions. I was trying really hard not to think of him.

So here I was, painting my nails with one of my favourite CD's by The Pierces playing when I heard a loud knock at the door. It was more like a POUNDING than a knock actually.

I immediately jumped up, and ran down the stairs. I wasn't expecting someone, so I was preparing myself for either some really good news, preferably, or some really bad news. As I was running I "scanned" the area and didn't detect any minds around the house, which meant the visitor was a vampire.

"BILL??!" I said for one happy moment- then realized, if it was Bill, he would have just ran right on up the stairs into my bedroom and embraced me in that really passionate way that he does. He wouldn't just bang loudly like that, he had an invitation. And Jessica would have txted me if she wanted to visit, which she did all the time, since she was lonely there all by herself. I paused on the stairs. Oh no, leaning to BAD NEWS. That... or TROUBLE.

There was another loud knock. My heart sunk into my pit of sadness again, and I hesitated. But then I shook my head and said to myself "Well, there's no use standing on the stairs like an idiot Sookie, if it's bad news, then it's bad news, you can't stop it by standing still..."

I unlatched the lock and opened the door.

I peeked through the crack to see a large box, and titled my head up to see Eric, slightly smiling at me.

"Eric! Unless this is about Bill, GO AWAY!! I'm really not in the mood to do any work for you at the moment, and I certainly don't want to play any games you might have in mind!" I made sure I said this in my most nastiest unwelcome voice.

Eric smirked.

"Why Sookie, You're wrong on both accounts. Perhaps I just came to...visit you.," he said in a low soft voice that she had to admit was erotic.

"Yeah, sure, the day hell freezes over!" I spit back.

A small grin erupted up Eric's face.

"Please tell me when that happens, I'd like to buy some real estate there- I do enjoy the cold. Now will you...please...let me in?"He said the world "please" as if it slightly hurt him.

**

I then remembered the last time I had talked with Eric a week earlier when Bill had first disappeared. I phoned him in tears begging for any information he might have. (I regretted it now, I had been fairly drunk at the time and missing Bill terribly. Tara and I had a night of Tequila shots, she had more to be upset over than I did, and although I don't like drinking that much, I did it mostly for her- I mean, at least I could still imagine Bill to be alive? Tara didn't have that luxury with Eggs.)

He had come right over to discuss the situation, that very evening surprisingly. I sat on the porch and practically balled my eyes out when I mentioned Bill's name. Hey, I was drunk remember? I can barely remember what I rambled on about, but most of it was probably me trying to drive into Eric how really special Bill was and that he better work damn hard at finding out what happened, that Bill should be his top priority as Sheriff. I also told him about everything that happened with Maryanne and the strange things that were happening to ME. Eric had remained silent most of the time I ranted and wailed, half of the things I said I couldn't remember, but some of it was the "Why me" stuff -self pity stuff that I'm ashamed of- I was raised to avoid all self pity- that is one of the reasons why I avoid drinking. I turn into a silly drama queen. A lot of stuff that I probably shouldn't have said to a powerful vampire, as if I could EVER tell him what to do. But Eric just sat there beside me, listening, and then for some insane reason, I just laid my head on his large shoulder and cried. If I had been sober, he would be the very last person I would be looking to for comfort. I mean, I completely hate him. Compared to Bill, he's a heartless animal. But it just felt nice.

But lately it seemed I didn't have anyone around to really comfort me. Everyone around me was dealing with their own serious problems, I felt I shouldn't be bothering them with my pain. Besides, I knew for a fact, from stray thoughts, that most of my so called friends were glad Bill was missing. They thought I could "do better" than a vampire.

Even Tara said things like "Sookie girl, think for a moment! Bills fun now, but do you want "that" kind of "fun" when you're like 70 years old and your boobs are saggin' and you don't feel an inch from sexy? Everybody- Well everybody that doesn't already laugh at you in town that is- everybody assuming he's your son instead of your Vamp Hubby? The point of marriage is so you can grow old TOGETHER! And take comfort in all the shitty stuff that happens! Your saggy tits won't matter cause he's got saggy balls, and ya both can bitch about it! Believe me, it's just cruel to do that to yourself, pretend you can actually marry a Vampire. Cause you know in the end, he's just staying with you out of pity! But maybe you'd actually like that, Pretending he's your son, because you won't got any of your own that's for sure. And I remember when we were little, you used to be so excited talking about having kids, what you would name them, what you would do together- It was practically a dream of yours, and I ain't about to let you throw that away cause you met one creepy old cold dudel that sucks out your blood!"

I lost it for a minute.

"Tara... You, you... Goddamn bitch! You know that I love Bill, and I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks about that, or if they when i'm old mistake Bill for my son! If that ever happens, I'll just move to a big city where nobody knows us. And- haven't you heard of adoption?! Bill loves kids, I can see him being a great dad!"

"Yeah, for one, vampire adoption is still illegal, and I sure as fuck hope it stays that way. Second, yeah, that sounds just about right, imagine Bill tryin to pitch softball to a kid on your lawn at night- cause that's about all the parenting you could expect. He'd never take the kids to school, never go on a vacation with you to the beach, never take them to the doctors, never-"

"Tara Thorton, that is enough! If you don't get out of my house saying that kind of garbage to me- after what I went through to SAVE YOUR LIFE, I'll make you leave!" and with that I ran to the closet and grabbed the rifle.

"Holy shit Sook, I was just tryin to talk to some sense into ya! Don't you go pointing that thing at me!"

"I want you to know how serious I am about making you leave. My fiance, the love of my life, was just kidnapped-" the tears were streaming down at this point- "He might not even be alive, and I am hurting right now. I don't need YOU telling me I'm an idiot for wanting to be with the man who makes me happier than I imagined I could be. Every second of the day I pray for his safe return. I don't even think about growing old with him, because you know what? Even a few short blissful years with Bill before it goes to crap- is more than I would have hoped for. I think you're just jealous because you know you'll never have that."

Tara just stood still, shaking her head, her eyes wide.

"What has gotten into you? This night was supposed to be fun, to take our minds off of things! I'm not trying to be a bitch, but you should know- and everyone else agrees- that he's probably not coming back. You need to accept that. And you need to think- about what you really want, not just that you love him, or think you love him. Sookie, i'm your frien-"

Then I took Tara by the shirt collar and dragged her to the door and slammed it in her face. Some friend.

So in my drunken delirium, I sat with Eric in the porch swing in the middle of the night and cried against his chest while he had his arm around me and gently stroked my hair as I completely soaked his shirt with tears. I felt so gross that I did that, but it felt nice and I so desperately needed to feel nice. I suppose it was because he had tricked me into swallowing some of his blood earlier, like I was brainwashed by his presence. So I thought fine, I'm going to go ahead and use Eric like a drug, and pretend for a while that I'm resting my head on Bill's cool chest.

I was sort of confused at the same time, that Eric was being so nice. I figured he must be just placating me because he'd rather I not be talking on and on, and that manipulative bastard saw everything as a "favour" so he'd probably be thinking that he could use this "niceness" in turn for something I could do for him later.

After some time, I had cried to the point where my eyes hurt to cry, and I just lay still. It was then that I felt his hand move from where it was to gently caress my face upward towards his.

"Feel better now?" he said very softly.

"Maybe.. a tiny bit. I guess there's no point in lying to you about it," I said with bile.

He lowered his face so that it was an inch away from mine.

"You're amusing when you're drunk Sookie. You should do it more often! Drinks on me next time you come to Fangtasia. You are correct, there is no point in hiding it. You feel a tiny bit better.... but, I bet.... I can..."

He brought his other hand forward to hold my face. I would have slapped him for sure, if I wasn't drunk and completely surprised by that weirdness.

"...Make you feel, so...sooo much better-"

And with that, before I could protest, or throw out some cheeky remark like I meant to, with his lightning fast speed his lips were already on my mouth, and his hand had moved beneath my nightgown where it stroked my breast. I uncontrollably moaned loudly as I felt his tongue sensually stroke mine and my hips lurched forward to meet his other hand which was also under my nightgown.

It was a strange sensation. It felt like there was a tiny electric spark that had buried itself in my chest and had lit up the dark sadness inside me somehow, so that I couldn't feel it anymore- I only felt the gnawing pulsing need for pleasure. My tongue dove into his mouth, and I actually grabbed his hair and pulled it hard.

Somehow, his body felt familiar and welcoming. I guessed that was due to the fact that I had been having plenty of sex dreams with Eric, which were pretty... hot but completely out of my control and because it was Eric, gross at the same time. Damn vampire blood. And Damn that tricky evil bastard Eric.

But that only lasted a couple seconds. As soon as I got my head back on straight, I jumped off the porch swing and screamed.

"Eric! OH GOD! Get...OFF ME! How dare you! I am BILL'S, you know that! I am STILL BILL'S even if He's not here....AT THE MOMENT!" This last part I sort of said in a whimper.

"I like hearing you say, 'Eric, Oh God!' It suits you." He smirked and then continued, "Funny, I took you for one of these strange modern women who think they get to choose what man has them," he said, still sitting calmly in his position on the porch.

"Argh! I can't believe I just.... kissed YOU! And it's only cause of that blood exchange, believe me, otherwise we wouldn't be here, I would have just slammed that door right in your face once I learned you didn't have useful information."

"Yes, you should question the blood exchange." he said, suddenly serious, then silent for a moment.

He continued.

"I find it strange however, that you didn't question it when Bill first gave blood to you. Not fair, exactly. You yielded to him so easily, like a little lamb latching onto it's mothers teat..."

"Well, that's because I didn't know about it!" I retorted with anger.

"Exactly." Eric grinned widely and chuckled.

I paused and suddenly understood the significance of what he said.

There was a long lapse of time from when I had first taken Bills blood, soon after we met- to the time Bill almost casually mentioned strong sexual attraction was a "side effect" of having the blood of a vampire inside you. When I first met Bill... I had very intense dreams about him too. How much of that was because of his blood? And why didn't he explain that sooner? That certainly wasn't the first time he lied to me, I was almost used to him lying,or... rather... not "lying", but "failing to take initiative to reveal the truth" as he had called it. If he had said something, if I had known there would have been an artificially created connection between us, OR, if I hadn't of had his blood in the first place- would we have fallen in love so quickly? Would I have forgiven him for his lies so easily?

Maybe I didn't think about this much before, because I didn't want to think about it. The consequences were chilling. Not that I doubted my love for Bill- the love I had couldn't be artificially created with a few drops of nasty red liquid. I certainly didn't feel loving towards Eric. Only...yeah, I had to admit it, extremely attracted. Even without that love potion, he's gorgeous of course. But way more evil than he is gorgeous, and I shuddered every time I woke up from one of those sex dreams, and had a long cold shower where I scrubbed myself until my skin wad red to almost try to clean the dirty feeling away. It's dumb, I know, but it seemed to help. I knew I wasn't the only one, LaFayette had them too, and had even more reason to hate Eric than I did. I felt really sorry for LaFayette. Eric only really annoyed me, but Eric had almost killed him. I guess it would be like me having sex dreams about Rene! GROSS!

I stood stunned for a moment, slightly shaking my head.

"Poor Sookie", Eric said sarcastically as he was suddenly in front of me.

"Are we just coming to a revelation?"

I played dumb. "What revelation is that supposed to be? That you're a bastard?"

"I think you already know that I'm a bastard, sweetheart. A revelation... that your chivalrous hero Bill, might not be the romantic portrait that he paints for you," he said, smiling slightly.

"What, because he didn't tell me what the blood did? It hardly mattered, he was too busy saving my life!"

"Oh, you can go on telling yourself that if it makes you feel better, Sookie. I'm surprised, you haven't mentioned your pending engagement by the way. Did you think I wouldn't have heard? Isn't that serious for humans? To spend the rest of your existence with one person? I never understood this. I thought for some reason, that you might be beyond that silliness. Especially if you find... you don't really know them yet. It's just like... even though I haven't had ice cream- I imagine, it's like walking into an ice cream shop and picking the first flavour that grabs your attention, and deciding it's the best one and the only one you'll ever have. Pure stupidity! But I can tell you aren't stupid Sookie... I can tell Sookie... you are aching to try those other flavours...."

"Just... SHUT UP! You can't compare people to ice cream! I love Bill because he is everything I want AND need! Not because he's the first guy that really wanted me, or because he's a vampire, or for anything- It's just Love! And I'm not looking for other "flavours", why bother when by the grace of God you are blessed to find your favourite flavour on your first taste? Oh, but you wouldn't know anything about that!"

"Everything you need, including LIES? And dear Sookie, I've been around for over a thousand years, and you seriously believe I know NOTHING... of love?" Eric seemed almost offended.

"Only your own selfish kind! You don't have a heart left to love anybody but yourself. You're not like Bill!"

At this point I was yelling loudly into the night. If I had close neighbours, they probably would have phoned the police.

Eric then spoke softly and almost kindly.

"All love is selfish, in a way. No, I'm not like Bill. Unlike Bill, I don't hide who I am, and I have no fear for the truth. My balls don't shrivel when I'm in the presence of a tiny human girl. At least I'm a liar...that doesn't lie about being a liar," he said this last sentence with a strong hint of disgust.

Then, he was gone, and I was left alone, drunk and enraged in the middle of my lawn, and incredibly horny.

**


	2. Chapter 2

Now Eric was back, and he held in his large hands a mysterious cardboard box with holes on the sides. Time had not cooled my anger or disgust for him.

"No, Eric, I'm NOT letting you in. I have no reason to visit with you, after what you did, molesting me on my own porch."

"Oh, we both know you were begging for it, but call it what you want," with the same pleasant grin.

"Very well. If you refuse to see me I will just leave this here then. I suggest you don't leave it here

for too long though, or you'll find it is no longer... a pleasant gift."

"A gift? Why the hell would you give me a gift? I don't want anything you'd give me! And, AND- You ruined my nail polish!"

"You'll want this, trust me. Especially now that... Now that, there isn't a Vampire in the immediate vicinity to protect you. I'll tell Pam to bring supplies over tomorrow night."

"Supplies? AND- I don't need protecting! I can take care of myself. Not that, I need protecting from Anything!"

"Sookie, you are quite human," Eric said softly after a moment of looking at me, and then he immediately left.

I have to admit, I was quite curious as to what could be in that box but I couldn't imagine him giving me anything I'd actually appreciate. Should I just leave it there, despite what Eric said? _Yeah, I probably should should just leave it sitting there, hopefully he'll get the hint I don't want ANYTHING from him and take it back._

I was about to close the door when I heard a rustling and scratching noise from within the box.

OH my, there was something ALIVE in there. I suddenly felt horrified. Well, I couldn't just leave an... alive whatever, sitting there on my porch in the cold breeze.... could I?

There was a small whimper, that sounded completely nonthreatening.

"Oh my god! You poor thing!" I said as I opened the box to look down at... A puppy.

It was pretty much the very last thing I expected, for Eric to give me a puppy. I would have been less surprised to find a whimpering bomb in there.

I picked up the puppy that was shaking slightly, and lifted it up to my face where it began furiously licking me.

"Let's get you inside! I bet I can find a nice treat for you. Oh, I'm sorry, to think I almost left you shaking like a leaf on the porch! I bet Eric scared you, didn't he, wittle puppy cute face?"

The puppy was mostly black with white markings, and looked like a husky although I haven't seen a husky around here before, I was only guessing from pictures. He had beautiful sky blue eyes, and his little pointy ears were framed by tuffs of soft white fuzz. Then I realized as I carried him in, that he was a she. Around her neck she had a leather blue collar studded with crystals that matched the colour of her eyes

What in the world was Eric up to? The puppy was incredibly cute, and I did really miss having an animal around the house. I thought about getting another cat, but- I always imagined the ghost of my murdered cat Tina, slinking around the house in disgust as I happily pet her replacement, and the idea made me sad and a bit guilty. Even though I knew her ghost wasn't really following me around. Probably. But maybe she wouldn't mind so much if I had a dog instead?

I had to admit, I was feeling pretty lonely these days. Having the house so empty, was just so weird...and...wrong. I had hoped Tara would move in, but it turned out, at least for the time being, that she was taking this opportunity to patch things up with her mom, who was actually sorta pleasant these days, and seemed to be treating Tara decently enough, although... she would never really be real mom material. I really hoped she could stick with being sober. Tara really needed her right now. But Tara was also being a huge bitch, and while I still wanted to be her friend, I didn't' want to see her until she cut that out.

BUT- I couldn't keep it. I'd tell Pam, "Thanks, but no Thanks"- That I didn't want to be the recipient of whatever contract Eric was cooking up this time, that I didn't want to owe him anything- absolutely nothing at all. I wanted to sever my ties with Eric as much as possible, now more than ever due to the blood of his he forced me to drink.

Then, I had another thought.

_If Bill had explained what Vampire blood did in the first place- about the connection it created, I might have seen right through Eric's pathetic trickery. I would have been better prepared. I might have caught on to what he was up to, I could have at least understood the consequences. Or... I could have refused, more adamantly to help him when he said he was dying, and I would have seen that he was healing fine without my "help." I wouldn't be in the situation with Eric. Having him know about my feelings.... Forever! And being able to take advantage of me like that. I was definitely NOT getting drunk with Eric anywhere near around me, EVER AGAIN. _

Why, Oh Why, didn't Bill just tell me? Wasn't that sort of... important? Why did he always want to keep things from me? I'm not that fragile! Or maybe he really did think I wasn't smart enough to understand how things worked? Whatever reason, they all suck.

All this trouble with Eric was Bill's fault, and I desperately wanted to ask him why. Dammit Bill... where are you?

**

Last night I took the puppy up to my room, after cutting up some pieces of leftover porkchop that I gave to it in a dish. It devoured that ravenously, and I suspected that Eric hadn't bothered to feed the poor thing.

I didn't really like calling it just "it", or just "she", but I figured since I wouldn't be keeping it, that I shouldn't bother naming it. It might get confused.

It seemed to be house trained, because about an hour after it ate, while we were in my bedroom, it jumped off my bed and started dancing around in a circle while looking at me quizzically. That was a relief.

After I took the puppy to do it's business, I headed back to bed, and just lay there, reading a bit, and playing with the puppy. I found an old tennis ball from when I was a kid, and he seemed to really enjoy that.

When I woke up, the puppy was curled up beside my face, it's muzzle nestled into my nose.

"Why, Hi there," I said, and as the puppy awoke, it lept into another attack of licking and bouncing.

I couldn't leave it alone all day inside the house. I didn't know what to do. I phoned to see if Jason had a day off to check up on the dog, but he was working fulltime today. I tentatively phoned Sam and asked if I could leave the puppy in the outside of the bar on a chain. I could sneak back there often and make sure it was doing okay. I knew from observation that puppies tend to get separation anxiety when they are this young.

Sam seemed ecstatic at the idea. He said why not just bring him right into the bar, as long as he's house trained. This seemed to work out well, because almost everyone loves puppies, and she was getting plenty of attention that day. I think she even brought in extra customers, because a few tables phoned their friends to talk about "the cutest puppy ever" and a few even wanted to buy it.

That would have been an easy way to get rid of it, but... I just said, "Maybe, not sure yet" because I wanted to wait until Pam dropped by to ask what the heck was going on. And I was thinking, I might just give her to Sam, and because I really liked her, I'd get a little sister for her to play with sometime soon. Having a puppy seemed to be the sort of pickup I needed to escape my blues. I was pretty much falling for the absurdly cute thing, the only reason why I didn't want her was because she came from Eric.

I didn't have to wait long for Pam to arrive that evening. When I opened the door, she was holding a large shopping bag and had a thoroughly annoyed expression on her face.

"Here-" She spat. "For the mutt."

"Thanks Pam, but I'm not keeping it. It's cute and all, but- why the heck did Eric give me a dog?!"

"I have absolutely no idea. He didn't say. He did say to me though," and here she sorta did a bad Eric impression- "Sookie will attempt to refuse this gift, and under no circumstances are you to allow that. SO, HERE."

"But-"

"Uh uh. No BUTTS Sookie. My butt is on the line."

I tentatively took the shopping bag. I didn't want Pam to get into trouble, under whatever kind of sadistic punishment Eric conceived of. I guess I'd have to take it up with him.

"You should know, he told me to say this-" She rolled her eyes.

"That gross slobbery thing isn't a regular breed of dog- it's a special breed we Vampires have been breeding for thousands of years. Supposed to be werewolf blood mixed in there somewhere ages ago. They're faster, stronger, more intelligent so easier to train than human dogs. Fiercely loyal. They are hard to get a hold of, and VERY expensive. I can't believe Eric bothered to go out of his way to get one for you."

I was pretty shocked. Not only did Eric give me a gift- which was creepy- but it was a rare, expensive gift?

"What?" I was shocked, so I said the first stupid thing that came to my head. "Er, how expensive do you mean?" Not that I cared how much he spent. I just wanted any information I could get. He was loaded anyway, Bill said. He only kept the bar for amusement, as a sort of joke, and to have a steady supply of "company" for dinner.

"More than Fangtasia makes in a month, and way more than you deserve. Don't bother trying to trick me into taking that thing back. Eric made me look after it for a couple days. It chewed up 3 of my favourite shoes. Not to mention... argh, the stench! Nothing could make me want to spend time with that horrible beast ever again. I'll never get that smell out of my Italian hand made carpet!"

Despite the situation, this had Sookie laughing.

"You know what Pam, I think a puppy might be just what you need. You are a little too involved in your shoes. But really, why would Eric do this? Does he want me to work for him again or somethin'?"

Pam glared and rolled her eyes.

"As I said, I have absolutely no idea. Why don't you just ask him yourself? But if I were you... I'd be... worried. He's definitely up to something. He certainly didn't send it to be sweet."

"Jeez Pam, really?" I said with my very best sarcasm. "Here I thought he was all sugar and spice and everything nice."

"He says, to phone him when you want to discuss things. That was my last instruction to relay to you, and now I am leaving."

Just then the puppy bounded down the stairs and frantically ran outside to leap up at Pam.

"Awwww, look Pam! She misses you!"

Pam glared, shoved the puppy away, swore something in a foreign language, and then used her Vampire speed to get to her car and quickly sped away. The puppy whimpered, sadly.

**

Three weeks had passed, and I still hadn't called Eric to "discuss things." I figured unless he admits he had information about Bill's disappearance, there was nothing to really discuss. Every day I waited, hopeful, that I would get a phonecall or postcard, or SOMETHING that let me know Bill was okay, but... The days always passed, as if he vanished from existence.

If he was going to force me to have a puppy, then fine. But I didn't want to play right into another one of his games. Keeping the puppy was the better option. I didn't like the idea of where she came from, like how I wouldn't accept the money from Uncle Bartlett's death even though I could have really used it- but, she was also getting really attached to me, and I shuddered to think what would happen to her if I did tell Eric to take her back. He'd probably actually flush her down the toilet or something.

I decided to name her Lupe since she looked sorta wolfish. I bought her a little tag for her blue leather collar with her licence that said "Lupe" on it, and my address.

There was no way I was giving her back now. She really was a special puppy. She seemed to understand a lot of what I was saying. Like when I came into my bedroom to find her chewing on my novel, that I had only half read, but which was really good up to that point so I was pretty pissed off I couldn't finish it- I yelled at her and called her bad Lupe and took the book away, and she had just rolled over so her belly was showing and her paws were in the air and whined so sadly she was almost howling, until I came over and picked her up and told her I still loved her. She didn't chew on any of my stuff after that.

A week ago Tara had come over to apologize, and we had both hugged and made up.

"So, I guess Tequila isn't really our drink, is it Sookie? This time we'll just stick to a couple of screwdrivers and a really bad romantic comedy to take our mind offa our shitty lives."

Tara had brought Lafayette over and they were sharing a chicken dinner together.

"That's where you two's is wrong! You needed to exercise those demons with the God of Tequila! Sometimes, there's things that just gotta be said... even if they be mean, bitter thangs you don't' wanna hear. It's better than keepin them inside, where they can burn and boil into somethin just nasty that will ooze into yo soul. But it's cool in the end- cause you can blame ANY sorta crazy motherfuckin stuff on tequila, and then you be saved. Praise the lord!"

Tara then said "So, what you sayin is... Instead of payin $800 for a fake exorcism to stop me from drinkin and turning into my Momma, I shouldda just got a big ass case of Tequila and drank until I was mean and nasty to her?"

"Hells yeah. Hooker you should have told me about that first. I wouldda set you straight, and given the tequila to you myself. Especially since she was sober. You never told her off the way she really deserve it. You were always too kind to her, like you were her Momma. You'd be a new woman if you did that."

"Huh. Well, things are good for now, for the first time EVER. Don't want to screw that up."

Sookie smiled. "I see your point about the healing powers of alcohol, Lafayette. But still... if we hadn't had that fight, Tara, I wouldn't' have gone balling my eyes out to Eric, and-"

"What??! NO, you didn't!" They both gasped at her in amazement and probably, horror.

"Well....yeah... I phoned him, and he came over after. It was weird, I mean, I can't remember half of it... I was just telling him about Bill, asking him for help, that's all.. well..mostly..." I said sheepishly.

"What the fuck do you mean, 'mostly' there Sookie?" LaFayette said, in a serious tone.

I didn't know if I should say anything. I was totally embarrassed about the situation, but I thought about what Lafayette had said and maybe I should just tell them, instead of keeping it inside to fester into something more nasty.

"Well...see... I was drunk-"

"Yeah, we got that part." Tara interrupted.

"Well, somehow...I uh...." I twisted my fingers and looked down at a bowl of pork rinds.

"Sookie, just say it!"

"Okay, okay! I made out with him alright! But, it was only for like 5 seconds, and I hated... I HATED IT!" I was practically going into tears at this point. That last part was partly true, but also partly a lie.

"Oh, god, Sookie..." was all that Tara said, her head in her hands.

"I am going out tomorrow to be the first in line to buy a very large case of silver bullets with that MOTHERFUCKERS name ENGRAVED on them!" LaFayette said with enthusiasm, raising his first.

"I didn't mean to... I mean, he didn't technically force me, but if it wasn't for all those gross sex dreams and the blood and everything-" I said in a small voice.

"What blood, ah... what, sex dreams? You haven't been telling me stuff Sookie!" Tara looked angry.

Both I and Lafayette were silent and looking down.

"Shi..it! I still got those too. Are they ever going to go away Sookie? I thought they would have faded by now, like the extra strength and sexiness you feel when you got their blood." Now LaFayette's voice sounded fragile and shaky, his previous confident exuberance had vanished.

"I don't know. Bill kinda made it seem like... it might be... forever. That he'll feel our emotions inside us, no matter where we are, forever."

"Well, I think I be needing some of my own tequila exorcism. I have to get that monster out of my head! There must be some way to fix it!"

"Okay guys, you gotta explain, I'm fucking confused and this seems fucking important!" Tara was very annoyed, she thought she should be included in every piece of gossip or we were "hiding things" from her.

"Well," I began, "We both had some of Eric's blood... I know, soooo icky! But... in my case, I thought I was saving his life at the time, and Lafayette needed it to save his life..."

"What?! You mean you had a chance to watch that evil Vampire die, after he treated you like some kind of property of his making you do stuff for him, and you try and go and save him instead, that's just INSANE Sookie! And you Lafayette- Why didn't you just go to the damn hospital, I bet Sam would have paid for your bills, you know he's a good man!"

"Tara, shut the fuck up, you don't know what you is sayin. I didn't have a choice. He just showed up at my house one night, and pretty much forced me to, but- at the time, if I had known that this shit was on the way, I would have put up the best damn fight I got in me. Did you really think a drunken veterinarian could have pulled off a miracle like this?" he said, pulling down his pants to reveal the smooth skin that no longer revealed that he was shot in the leg.

"And DON'T YOU EVER, EVER chastise Sookie for trying to save someones life. It don't matter that it was a Vampire. And I sure as heck don't understand it, but... Sookie, you have goodness in you, and I know you always do things with the best intentions. Sugar don't feel bad about what you done. You were just being your sweet self."

"Thanks." I said, and reached out to hug him. I didn't hear stuff like that often enough, and it did make me feel better.

"That bastard shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that!" Tara said.

"Well, he didn't really... I mean, he did sit out there with me, for like... two hours... while I mostly rambled on, and I think I fell asleep for a bit... but the weird thing was, he just kinda held me, and listened, which at the time, because I was DRUNK, and...really missing Bill I guess, I just kinda needed, a shoulder to cry on, and he tolerated that, for some reason. He could have just laughed at me, and told me how pathetic I was, and then left. But he didn't. Not that I thought he was being nice or anything, I wouldn't believe that for a second. I'm sure he was only doing it to manipulate me somehow. Or maybe he was really hoping I'd be that easy that he could get away with fucking me right there on my porch. But he did make me feel better, I sorta used him and daydreamed I had Bill again. So if anything, I took advantage of him. I know it's pathetic."

"Sookie, we all end up comforting ourselves in the arms of someone despicable and beneath us, whether it's a one night stand with your beer goggles on or an evil Vampire. It's not pathetic. You was just lonely, and hurtin'."

"And then! After I told him to fuck off basically, he shows up a week later with Lupe!"

"ERIC the nasty Vampire gave you Lupe?! I thought you told me you got him free from someone you knew in Shreveport."

"Technically... Eric is someone I know from Shreveport. Anyway, I tried giving her back, but apparently I'm not allowed for some reason. Believe me, I don't want to have anything around that reminds me of Eric. But Lupe has really helped me these past few weeks... she's way too sweet to remind me of Eric anyways."

At this point I picked up the dog, who was sleeping with her nose tucked under her tail, and cuddled her.

"Well then, at least promise me you're gonna watch out for that guy! No more makin out! Even if he just happens to be damn sexy!" Tara said.

"Tara, I'm not retarted! Of course I'm not going to! Especially... Omigod, what will Bill think!"

LaFayette stepped in to calm me again. "I think, that Bill loves you and knows what kind of heart you got in there, and he'll understand that you didn't mean it, and he ain't about to drop you for something as small as a kiss, with a guy he knows to be no competition."

"I really...really...hope so..." I gulped and started crying again.

We then turned on a movie, and had a couple drinks (Tara and Lafayette also got really stoned, I tried that stuff once, but it messed with my disability real bad so I couldn't block out any thoughts and I thought I would go insane- so I never touch it!) and we talked about anything besides vampires, and death.

**

The next day, I had a full shift at Merlotte's with me closing. Sam was mysteriously gone for the weekend, again. I didn't mind closing the bar since I already knew the full routine and there wasn't anything complicated about it. Plus Sam insisted on giving me a raise on nights when I had to close by myself. I had protested that I was doing a favour as a friend, not an employee, but he had put it in my paycheck even though I asked him not to. Well, I wasn't by myself- there was always at least one other person there with me anyway, and of course I always had Lupe. I had taught her to stay around the bar itself, and not bother people unless she was invited by me. At first this was hard, because everyone loved giving her scraps of food, so she seemed really confused and whined a lot when I gave her a stern "NO!" and chained her by the bar while she drooled at the greasy plates I was bringing to my tables. It wasn't good for her to have that much junk food anyway. Although she was stubborn, she learned quickly, so after only a couple days of this I could leave her there in her dog bed without the chain and she just watched and whimpered softly with her head in her paws trying to look like the hungriest, most suffering dog in the world as I worked.

The night was a Sunday, so it wasn't too busy after dinner, but it seemed all the wrong kinds of people were showing up. The wrong kinds of people with the wrong kinds of thoughts, the kind that broadcast loudly enough so I'd have to hear them even though I really didn't want to.

"_Stupid fucking butterface Vampire fucking whore. Her fanger left her and she still thinks she's better than all of us, she needs a real cock rammed down her throat till she passes out- then, I'll..."_

I was used to the usual perverted sort of thoughts people have, but it still stung and made me a little sick when it was directed toward me. BUT- I wasn't in charge of peoples thoughts, and still worked my tables and went about like I had no idea they were doing things to me in their head. In fact, I worked harder to distract myself- something, which I probably shouldn't have done. I should have been more careful.

At around 11:30 Lafayette called out to me, "Sook! Get yo ass over here for a minute!"

"Yeah?"

"Since it's so slow, I thought about taking off early, since I just got a phone call that this kick ass electronic group is doing a surprise show in Shreveport tonight, and I really have got to go and shake my booty to that shit! Except... I feel awful for leavin ya alone, and doing the extra duties, it's just that, this band is from out of state, and don't travel often, this is my lucky day!"

"Oh sure, of course! You go out and have fun! No reason to stay here. I'll probably get everything finished here early anyway, with how slow it is."

"Then you should come and dance yourself silly, girl!"

"Nah, not really... my thing. I'm just gonna go have a soak in the tub and read a novel. You have fun though!"

"Oh, you know I always will. Thanks dear, I owe ya one."

I really wish I had used more of my brain, and told Lafayette I was a little uncomfortable that night, but I thought I'd feel guilty for ruining his fun.


	3. Chapter 3

I really wish I had used more of my brain, and told Lafayette I was a little uncomfortable that night, but I thought I'd feel guilty for ruining his fun.

By 12:30am, everybody had cleared out, and I had locked up the bar. I had Lupe's dog bed and toys in my arms, with Lupe bouncing happily beside me. She LOVED car rides, especially at night.

I was almost to my car, fumbling with my one free hand to find my car keys in my purse, when suddenly Lupe started barking and growling. The parking lot was empty. I turned around to see if there was a wild animal or something in the bushes, when from behind me came the sound of scraping gravel, and immediately a very potent strong thought came into my mind:

_There you are, you little whore... you're all mine now, and you're going to be taught a lesson, you need to know how to take it from a real living man_... along with images of very painful things.

This all happened in a split second, so I didn't have the time to even think about running. There was a man behind me, a very large one with muscular arms, and he grabbed onto me and lifted me up into the air so I was kicking and screaming, scratching at his arms and hands.

Lupe was biting at his heels and I heard a series of whines as the man attempted to kick Lupe as he was dragging me away into the woods.

I struggled and struggled, screamed with all the air in my lungs, tried to kick backwards at him, but he was a big guy and it was no use. Why couldn't my crazy flashy power kick in NOW? Lupe continued to try and bite him and as he stepped on her head, hard, I heard a really sickening bark and then silence. At the moment I wasn't worried about myself yet, I was terrified that he had killed Lupe.

The man didn't say anything, but he was sure thinking things, things that I couldn't block out no matter how much I tried. I decided to try and use his thoughts to my advantage.

"Please, please, don't hurt me, I don't know who you are but... I'll give you my money, car, whatever you want, just don't kill me! I won't tell the police, I swear! I'll even go back into the bar and give you whats in the back safe!"

I knew he was not interested in money at all, and would never agree, but at least I was playing the victim well. The man said nothing, which is what I wanted. I stopped struggling, and went limp as he carried me further into the woods for another 5 minutes. Into the woods, where I knew there was nobody around to hear me screaming. But there was nothing else I could do then.

I started shaking during this time, and in a small voice, started "praying" to God out loud. I was still doing this when he put me down.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" The man said, as he lowered me to the ground.

I pretended not to hear him, and continued praying, even as he slapped me across the face. I just lay limp, my eyes vacant in the distance, as if in a trance, reciting every prayer I could think of.

_Damn bitch is fucking crazy like they say, she don't even know whats comin to her, That Drew Marshall guy shoulda killed her when he had the chance, but I'm more of a man than he is-_

The man then loosened his grip on me, and reached down to unfasten his belt and pants. This is what I was waiting for.

I quickly put my arms beneath me, and set myself upright and took off as fast as my legs could carry me, but it wasn't fast enough. He was only a second behind me. Luckily, he tripped fairly soon on, so that gave me some slight advantage. I didn't even know what direction I was running in, I just ran. But, he caught up anyway, and FAST. Just before he reached me, I picked up a large stick, and attempted to wack him over the head with it. I hit him, but the stick was unfortunately old, and just broke in two without really hurting him much. This only made him more pissed off. He reached me, and this time... he wasn't letting go so easily.

He beat me, for a while, before actually doing, "the deed". All the while screaming insults at me. I had never felt so helpless in my life, even being attacked by Longshadow or the Rattray's... because I had never felt so violated. He pushed himself inside of me, hard enough so that it felt like he was also beating me inside. While he did this he spit on me, and continued to beat my face with his fists, and a sharp rock he held.

I tried to not think about it. I tried to daydream about Bill. I tried to worry about Lupe. But I couldn't. I couldn't because his thoughts were so strong that I was forced to simultaneously experience it through his perspective. His thoughts told me how much he was enjoying raping me.

And then, suddenly- with a gust of wind, he was off of me, he simply vanished. I lay there, feeling the cool breeze against my naked body, as blood ran out of my mouth and one of my eyes. I could barely see, they were both swollen. I thought one of my arms was broken, I couldn't move it at all, and pretty much EVERYTHING ached with pain. I lifted my head, barely able to breathe from the fear, and looked around. I didn't see him, or my clothes. So I rolled over, spat out a mouthful of blood, got myself up, and stumbled around in the darkness, leaning on a tree when I was too dizzy or in too much pain to go another step.

Then there was a hand on my back. I jumped and screamed, a blood curdling scream.

"Sookie, it's okay now." and the hand caressed me and then two arms were holding me from behind, and I just went limp in those arms, hyperventilating with fear.

The arms turned me around and I saw that it was Eric.

"He...he..." I couldn't say it. I couldn't breath, I couldn't even cry.

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't get here, sooner..." He lay me down back on the ground, very gently, and then I saw him biting on his wrist.

"No...no.."

"Sookie, don't be childish. You are literally black and blue. You have at least one broken bone. My blood is very old so it will only take a little bit."

"No.... no... if I'm not...dying... then, I... don't want it..."

"Fine, suit yourself. You would have done it if Bill saved you though, wouldn't you?"

"You're not Bill."

Eric seemed to grimace.

In the moonlight I could see that he was covered in blood. I figured I didn't want to ask what happened to the rapist. At the moment, I was hoping it was something very bad.. Although now, I don't think anyone deserves to be tortured by Eric.

"So you would rather suffer, and have permanent reminders of what this monster did to you, than accept healing, because it is my blood and you hate me?"

I stayed silent but nodded a little.

"I could, force you. But I will not. I respect your decision. Even though it is a completely foolish one."

"thanks.....fine...Lupe...please?"

"Your puppy. She's injured, she'll have to have some veterinarian attention, but she is alive. I already called Pam to take her to an animal clinic. I shouldn't have given her to you-"

"Pam? She... hates her. And... no... thanks... I love Lupe..."

"Pam will hate more, what is coming to her if she does not obey. I meant that, I shouldn't have given you a puppy. I thought you would like a young one more, they also bond to you better that way, but if it had been a strong, well trained, full grown, this wouldn't have happened. They are bred to be guard dogs, and to save their masters in situations like this. That is why I gave her to you. However I foolishly assumed, that you could stay out of trouble for the three months it takes for her to mature."

"How did you know...?"

"Remember Sookie, I can tell when something terrible is happening to you. If you won't let me give you blood, will you at least let me go home with you and clean you up? It's either that, or the hospital. But they would ask lots of questions, which would... cause trouble."

"Okay..." I said reluctantly.

Eric told me to close my eyes, and then he picked me up and I felt lots of wind around me and guessed that we were flying. After half a minute I opened my eyes and immediately got nauseous, because the treeline below us was moving so fast, and actually I puked a little down Eric's arm.

"Sookie! What did I say!"

But in a few short moments we were on my lawn, and Eric carried me to the door.

"You have to let me in, Sookie."

I thought for a second if this was really a good idea. Maybe I should just go in myself. I'd make up a story about how I fell down my stairwell and ask Tara to take me to the hospital.

"I will not abuse your invitation. I am only here for your aid."

"But... why... would you do that?"

"Because, don't you see? We are linked. This means that I'm forced to feel your pain as well. I dislike the sensation of feeling pain that isn't even mine. I would like to remedy it as soon as possible. I have enough of my own at the moment. Don't worry, this is an entirely selfish act on my part, Sookie. Like removing an annoying splinter. Besides, I don't mind holding your quivering naked body."

"Okay, you can come in. ONLY.... if there's no sex....talk... or stuff..."

"Sookie, while usually a beautiful naked bloody girl in my arms makes me raging hard, I can assure you I have no such thoughts at the moment."

Eric gently took me upstairs to my bedroom where he lay me on my bed. I reached over to pull my cover ontop of my body, but Eric held my hand.

"No, I need to assess you first. What hurts the most?"

"I can't move this arm", I said, pointing with the other one.

Eric placed his fingers on my shoulder, and gently probed the area, then moved down my arm. I said ouch quite a few times during this.

He then leaned over so that he was close to my face and grinned.

"So Sookie- tell me, what's your favourite sexual position? I bet you like it from behind."

"Eric! Fuck you, You- ARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

In this moment, he had taken my shoulder and twisted it sharply. It hurt excruciatingly, but in a short moment it was over, and I tentatively moved my shoulder.

"If I hadn't of distracted you it would have been far worse. But, your arm is also broken and you will require further treatment. I'd do it myself, but there isn't time to get the materials for a cast before sunrise. So I am going to make a splint that should do until then."

"You know how to... make a cast?"

He talked as he sat beside me, bending some coat hangers he found in the closet.

"I was a licenced doctor at one point, actually. Last century I attended the most prestigious medical school at the time. I enjoyed it very much. Enjoyed plenty of free meals too. I could even perform surgery on you. Surgery is sort of a fun hobby of mine... These skills come in "quite handy" as Sheriff, when I am dealing with... rather uncooperative humans in my care." He had a pleased look in his eye.

"Oh..."

I got it. Eric meant when he was torturing people he liked to stitch them up and keep them alive as long as possible until they gave him what he wanted. But I was grateful at least he had that knowledge, so I wouldn't have to go to the hospital right away. I just wanted to curl up in bed, and try to forget what happened.

In a few seconds he was done forming the sides of the splint, and he took my arm and carefully moulded the wire so that it fit the shape of my arm.

"Is that too tight?"

"Don't think so.."

"Sookie, will you at least, let me attend to your wounds? You'll heal much faster if they come in contact with my saliva."

I had a sudden vision of Eric licking me all over. I shuddered. I was covered in small cuts and scrapes, from running in the woods, and because the man had also beaten me with sharp rocks.

"Only if you spit on me... don't want you to lick me."

"Of course, you always have to be difficult. That is highly disappointing. After all the trouble I went through to save your life, to do away with the filthy inbred waste of flesh, and even after I gave you a cute puppy? Sookie you are just so cruel! I have yearned to taste you, even a little drop, so very badly, ever since I first caught your scent. You dear, are like a fine wine, or a gourmet chocolate... the very best of the best. Don't blame me for trying. You lose nothing in the process, and yet...you deny me."

Eric then made a very pathetic pouty sad face. I knew he was right. I guess I didn't have to be such a bitch. I didn't like Eric, but without him... I don't know what would have happened. Letting him lick off my dried blood was something easy I could do in return.

"Alright, fine, just...just don't do it in sex kind of way."

"You are odd. I'm going to be doing it in a Vampire sex kind of way. You're afraid you'll actually like it, aren't you? Funny- If I was in your position, I would welcome such a distraction from the truly horrifying event I just experienced."

I looked up at him and saw that he wasn't being cheeky anymore. There was a bit of sadness in his eyes. He bent down to my right shoulder first, where I had the deepest gash. I gasped as I felt his cool tongue make contact with my wound. It sent chills down my spine and my back arched slightly, causing my muscles to flex and a wave of pain radiated throughout my body from my various bruises.

"Relax", he whispered in a raspy low rumble. He took my hand and crossed his fingers with mine, and gently stroked my hand with his thumb. He then lay over me.

He swirled his tongue around gently, in the same pattern. He was letting me know with his thumb just a moment before what he was going to do with his tongue, so I wouldn't be surprised. I did try to relax, but it was difficult. As I feared, I started feeling a little aroused by the whole thing, and I absolutely hated it. I was just raped, and didn't want to think about sex in ANY way.

Eric stopped suddenly, gasping with his fangs out, (even though Vampire's don't really breathe) and had what seemed like an orgasm face. I decided to just close my eyes and not watch him do it.

"Mmmmm... You are almost... TOO good, Sookie..." he said slowly, and then continued. I moaned audibly, and felt him laugh a little in his chest, as he carefully worked his tongue over the bite mark that was on the top of my right breast. It did feel really good. Vampire saliva must act like a drug in a way as well. It certainly wasn't the fact that Eric was doing this to me.

He didn't interrupt the "healing process" from now on, instead trailing his tongue down my body from one wound to the next. For a moment he stopped at my nipple and took it into his mouth, sucking it tenderly with an "MMmmmph", but before I could remind him to cut it out, he had moved on to deal with another scratch.

I was breathing heavily at this point, my heart pounding, I couldn't help it. He was now down to my thighs, and stopped.

"Look at what he did to you. You're torn and bleeding inside." he said this with an angry growl.

"Not there-"

"I know, Sookie, I'm not. At least he didn't... Grrr... Finish. But still, from what I've read sperm are crafty, so you'll have to take one of those baby killing pills anyway. I'm just assuming you do not take contraception?"

"No, I...hadn't thought of that yet. Omigod, I don't want a baby from this!" I shrieked, suddenly horrified.

"You won't sweetheart. Hence the little pill- It will take care of that ever happening. Don't worry about ANYTHING."

He then continued to run his tongue along my abdomen, in a gentle repetitive motion, over my hips and down my thighs, licking the blood that was streaming down my legs. By this time, I was forced to think of the situation, of what happened to me that night, and I burst into tears, my whole body shaking violently.

Eric stopped and moved to lay beside me. He positioned me so that I lay on the side of my good shoulder, and wrapped his arms around me to pull me close to him as I wailed and shook.

"Shhh...I'ts okay, it's over."

"But it's not," I sniffled. "Eric, that was the first HUMAN I ever had sex with... and... I'll always remember that. I'll always remember hearing his thoughts, and seeing him rape me and enjoying it in his mind..."

"I would glamour you to forget it if I could. And- don't consider that sex. That act, that horrible beastly act, was not sex. Don't think of it in that way. He wanted power over you- he wanted to make himself feel better by humiliating you and torturing you. That isn't sex. He just happened to use his cock to do the torturing. I thoroughly enjoyed ripping that offensive organ from his body though."

"Oh gross, I don't need to hear that... But, how can you call it such a beastly act, when you've probably done worse...!"

"Have I, Sookie? I am a Vampire. I have murdered many humans, yes to live... but I am nothing like HIM. I do not enjoy sexual pleasures that involve torturing my women at the same time. I might drink them dry afterwards, but I do NOT.... I DO NOT enjoy RAPE. And they do not suffer as I kill them. I have always found it a completely despicable act, even in my Viking days. I have never done so, and will never do so. Despite what you seem to think about me."

"Okay, good..."

He kissed me gently on the forehead.

"Now do you see, why I despise humans so much? They are capable of so much more cruelty, to their own kind, than we are as Vampires. For nothing more than a little transient sexual gratification, and a way to ease their aggressive tendencies and fiery hate. A Vampire would never do such a thing to another Vampire for so petty a reason. For other reasons, yes- we can be quite cruel to each other. But Vampires also heal, and are much more resilient with their emotions. But humans will do it to females completely helpless against them, and even children, and thoroughly enjoy this unequal power struggle, knowing full well their victim will suffer for life."

"He didn't even know me! And he hated me...SO MUCH! Just because I loved Bill... I don't understand how you can hate someone so much that you don't even know!"

"I can tell you are getting your strength back, and you're calming down. I'm going to carry you over to the bathtub now and finish cleaning you up."

He lay me down in the claw-foot tub, and ran warm water for me. I didn't want to look at him, I still felt kind of ashamed about the situation and being completely naked in front of him, and worst of all- relying on Eric to help me through this. I could have told him I was okay now, and I could have called Tara to come over right away, but I didn't.

He held a natural sea sponge, and dipped it in the water.

"Sookie, look at me."

I didn't want to, but I did, and I'm sure my vulnerability was very evident on my face.

"This isn't your fault. Do not burden yourself with feeling ashamed. There is no shame in what you experienced. From your injuries I can tell that you put up quite a good fight. I'm proud of you."

He put some raspberry body wash on the sponge, and ran it along my legs, up my body, slowly. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. He repositioned himself so he was closer to me by my side, and brought the sponge over my stomach, between my breasts, and up my neck. I exhaled a long, shaky breath of air. When I opened my eyes, he was leaning over me and looking into my eyes.

"May I finish where we left off? With your blood?"

"Yeah, I guess..."

He bent down and ran his tongue along my forehead, this time much more greedily, down to my cheek, which had a long but shallow cut and a few scrapes. With one hand he continued washing my body with the sponge, and the other he placed behind my head, and gently stroked my hair. I was starting to find this a bit relaxing now. I did really like warm baths. This time, along with his slow sensual licks, he placed small kisses on my cheek as he went. When he was done, he was "breathing" heavy, and looked down at me with his eyes half closed and fangs extended.

"There is just one more wound that I need to take care of....Here."

Eric lightly touched my lip with his fingertip, that had been split on one side. I just looked at him, and didn't protest as he slowly bent his face toward mine. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, my heartbeat rising.

I felt the gentle tip of his tongue, moving slowly in a circle, Then he tentatively brushed his lips lightly against mine, and I was feeling his fangs lightly scrape my upper lip. I breathed out heavily, but didn't tell him to stop. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me intently.

I stared back, and as he slowly kissed me, he watched my eyes and knew that I was welcoming it. I didn't care that it was wrong, that I would hate myself later. I needed to forget what just happened, so I let him continue. My eyes closed again in a swoon, as he darted his tongue into my mouth and moaned deeply in an incredibly sexy animalistic way. I brought my good arm up to place it on his neck, urging him on to deepen the kiss.

Suddenly, with his vampire speed, he was in the tub with me, completely naked, and he placed me on his lap. This time I reached out to kiss him hungrily. Our tongues collided and this time i couldn't help but moan out loud in pleasure. I felt his hands everywhere, everywhere there wasn't pain, softly stroking. I felt his very obvious erection beneath me.

"Eric... I don't want sex though..."

"I know Sookie. I couldn't enter you without hurting you anyway. I won't bite you either. There are many more ways to enjoy a lover..."

I became limp in his arms as he began to frantically kiss and nibble at my neck, before returning to my mouth where I took over and kissed him harder. I couldn't believe how good it felt, next to all the pain. I didn't care who he was... I just needed that searing pleasure to take away all the hurting, if only for a few short moments. I considered it "using him" again.

We stayed like that, just kissing, for quite a long time, before Eric moved to use his mouth on my breasts.

"Oh, yessss....that." I said.

"Mmmm... you're sensitive there.. I like it." Eric said, then continued gently sucking and teasing my nipple with his teeth.

I couldn't believe what he was doing with my nipple. Of course Bill had briefly played with it before and I enjoyed the stimulation... But Eric knew exactly what pressure to use, and quickly learned exactly what I liked, but was also... teasing, and spontaneous, surprising me at the same time with wonderful tricks. I thought I was going to have an orgasm from that alone!

Erics body in the bathwater was warm now, so I could even pretend he was a human if I wanted. But I couldn't even "pretend" anything, even Bill, because I didn't have enough brain power left to imagine I was so swept away by how good it felt.

I arched my back as the pleasure became more and more intense. I felt his hand on my thigh, and he barely brushed his fingertips against my pussy, that was quite bruised, but I couldn't help but go "Ahhhhght" in pleasure and hope for more. By this time I was very breathy and so incredibly turned on, despite the shape I was in. My eyes were closed and I was literally squirming ontop of him. I moved my position so that I was now directly on top of his long thick cock. I continued to kiss him frantically, and his hands grabbed my ass and began sliding me across his cock gently as he moved his hips in a slight motion, barely perceptible, but just enough so that he was stimulating my clit intensely as I moved back and forth. There was just enough pressure that it felt really good- not enough pressure on the bruises for it to really hurt. I could barely feel the pain anywhere now anyway- I was lost in a cloud of electric ecstasy. I didn't know what I was doing- it was more like I was just along for the ride, as it happened. I sort of just watched myself.

The water was almost to the top of the tub now, and he bent back to turn off the tap.

"Sookie..." he rasped delicately into my ear as he nibbled my earlobe.

"Are you...enjoying this?"

He then took my face in his hands and looked at me.

"Well yeah... can't you tell?" I answered, with a sheepish sort of grin.

"I can always tell. But the problem is, dear, that you don't always know what it is you want. I enjoy these brief moments, when you are giving in....to your desire... You can go right on and pretend I'm one of those disturbing life size blow up dolls attending to that desire, if it helps you sweep away the guilt."

Eric then attacked me with deep passion filled kisses, followed by smaller licks, nibbles and kisses he placed on my neck, and I thrust my head backward and sighed and moaned "oohhhhhhhhhh"as I climaxed at a frantic pace.

I stayed in the same position, with my eyes, closed, breathing deeply, when I felt the weight beneath me disappear, and Eric whispered in my ear, out of the tub beside me suddenly.

"I have to attend to a phone call. Finish your bath and I'll be back to carry you to your bed in a couple minutes."

After I washed my hair, and was just lying down relaxing in the tub, I was forced to think again. I did feel guilty. Kissing Eric before had made me feel terrible- because it was just WRONG to kiss another guy while you were practically engaged to another...but letting another man bring you to a very good orgasm? Just... WHORISH! Although because I hear thoughts, and because it's Bon Temps- I knew people did stuff like that, CHEATED, all the time. But I felt like I was better than them, and NEVER thought I would ever do something like that. But, I also thought I wouldn't be raped in the woods and saved by Eric, when my love was kidnapped. I guess I shouldn't plan my life out too carefully anymore- there was just way too many surprises lately.

Eric soon returned and steadied me as I climbed out of the tub, and then he wrapped my favourite fuzzy towel around me. We stayed silent as he dried my body and then with that vampire speed again, so that I barely saw what he was doing, he had the towel on my head and was drying my hair so fast I swore it could have caught on fire.

"Eric, no! You're going to totally massacre my hair if you do it that way! I'll just put in some curlers and go to bed with it wet!"

"Your hair is that important to you?" He said, laughing. "After what happened?"

"Well... it's not important... but, I mean, it'll take like a year and a half to grow back again if you burn it off my skull."

"Exactly. A very short time. But I have hair too remember- I know what I'm doing. This works. You will not go bald, I think you'd look rather silly like that."

He then bent down and kissed me gently, beneath my ear, so that I squirmed and amazingly- became aroused again. I pulled away from him and stood two feet away.

"Sookie, do not do this to yourself."

"What? I'm just standin' here."

"You know what. You are filled with guilt inside you. You have it formed like a snowball, and you are rolling it along inside you, picking up more pieces of guilt as you go, intentionally trying to make yourself feel horrible with the pain. This is wrong. Especially now. I had thought that if I restrained myself and didn't allow myself to be fully pleasured by your body, that you would understand this sexual act was to temporarily relive your pain, and yours alone- But here you stand, harbouring your precious guilt- still. Causing yourself mental and emotional pain that rivals the physical pain you endure. I do not understand this, and I suspect that the culprits are a couple of vital misunderstandings. The first one, that you hold most dear- Is that Bill will be angry with you."

At this point I gasped, nodded, and began to tear up.

"This is a foolish assumption. You are not acquainted with Vampire sexuality. To a vampire, a romp in the sac could be as meaningless as a handshake. We tend to not do well with monogamy. I assume this is the lifestyle that Bill envisions for you- but I can assure you, that goes strongly against his nature. We are very protective of our humans- but more in terms of feeding, less in terms of sex. It is rare for a Vampire and human to be truly monogamous. Do you understand? Compton is not like your human men. He has been with many women, and will be with many women to come."

At this statement- I felt my heart burn with jealousy.

"Yes, now you are adding a dash of the jealousy now, to go with your guilt snowball. Are you going to make a whole snowman Sookie?"

"This isn't funny, Eric! I can't help how I feel!"

"Oh, but you can. You certainly can. If only you allow yourself to understand things differently. See- Bill WILL forgive you. Because he is a Vampire- because he will understand, that what you went through, is a terrible traumatic experience, and probably one of the most emotionally devastating moments you will ever suffer through. He will probably thank me, that I was here for you, to distract you from this pain and guide you through the sensual pleasures of the body- a pleasure that was so distorted and mangled for you tonight, by a human monster. He would understand, that you chose to do away with that unbearable pain, and instead, embraced the bodily pleasure that I offered you. He would see that as being the right decision. Understand Sookie- that rape isn't like other violence. It severely effects a woman's...or man's...sense of self being. Yes, even I experienced that once, as a human, I do know what that is like."

"What? ...really?" I said in a small shocked voice. I stayed silent all this time, thinking about what to say... but, this I had a hard time imagining. Eric, with all his power, his strength being at the mercy of a rapist?

But before answering, he scooped me up in his arms, and carried me to my bed, where he wrapped me in my covers and took me in his arms.

"Yes. And I was only 14 years old. Already a man at that age- which made it, all the more humiliating, because my peers witnessed it. It was during a war, where everything goes. I was wounded- and the mongrel, could have finished me off, should have finished me off, but he sought to humiliate me in front of my fellow warriors, before he killed me. I should not have felt guilty then, as he was twice my size, twice my age, and twice as mean- but, I did, especially since I was teased about it for years to come, even though i managed to overcome the situation, stab him, and take his head. But perhaps, that was the catalyst that caused me to fight harder, to win their respect time and time again. It was probably that...incident...that made me who I was. And for that, I do not abhor the experience. You may do the same. It is your choice, how you deal with the worst that has been done to you. You can make the most of it, overcome it, and allow it to define you as someone who has endured a terrible pain to survive and move on laughing in it's face- which is something to be proud of, by the way- Or if you prefer, you can weep about it in the corner, like most pathetic victims of the sort."

"Oh.... I'm sorry you went through that but- it's a lot easier said than done. And... I'm not so sure Bill would forgive me, I mean he was very angry at you in Dallas for making me drink your blood- he just seemed really, jealous, and-"

"Jealous because he imagined I sought to make you mine, to control you- but, I desire no such thing now. Bill is young and foolish, and still has a lot to understand, about Vampires- and, ME. I do not have to control you anyway. You are very... loyal... to your friends, and I wish for you to see me as a friend. I have no desire to form the kind of relationship... to "marry you"...as Compton did, or- to force you to work for me by manipulation. You will do that for me, yes, but you will do it for me as a friend. Friendship is a game, inherent within it there are elements of give and take, and manipulation... Humans just don't admit to it."

"Yeah, seems like it when you put it that way. What the heck do you mean 'I desire no such thing now'? So... before you WERE planning on controlling me?"

"Of course... that is because it is the most direct route of getting what I want. However, that was before I learned there was much more to you than meets the eye. I didn't realize you had such a capacity to.... amuse me. Before..."

His voice trailed off, and when he spoke it was low with sadness.

"Before I had a debt to repay to you."

"What debt? I got the money from-"

"I am NOT referring to THAT," Eric said with disgust.

"I am referring to what you did for Godric. He did not deserve to die alone. He was so passionate...but so...impulsive! It is just like him, to plan such a poor death on a whim. He should have done it in a grand fashion, so that all would know what the world is missing with his disappearance. He should have taken one last trip around the world with me, he should have-"

Eric slammed his fist into the wall, and it went right through with a loud CRACK and a cloud of fine drywall lifted into the air and floated in the air currents. I jumped probably two feet in the air, and Eric grabbed me in his arms and put his face on my cheek. My heart was racing with terror.

"I'll fix it. It's okay, Sookie....Sookie...don't be frightened."

I had also jumped because I felt a sudden strong rage inside my chest as he did it, which frightened me much more than the sound of the wall breaking. Had I felt his thoughts??

"Sorry. I lost control. I shouldn't have allowed you to feel that. It is the blood bond we have, do not worry. It will not happen again."

He lost control. And I felt it.

"I can feel you too?"

"Only in the brief moments where I do not have the strength to suppress it."

"So... you have to purposely stop yourself from transmitting your feelings, like how I have to purposely stop myself from hearing other peoples thoughts?"

"Yes, in a way."

"So... why bother then? You know I'm stuck listening to all sorts of bad stuff all the time, one more mind in my head won't matter much. Unless you are hiding things from me, and you're planning stuff against me!"

"Sookie!" Eric was suddenly angry. "You cannot begin to understand! I am doing this for your benefit, NOT mine. If I did not prevent this from happening- You! You... would be broken."

"Oh yeah, try me! I can take more than you think."

"Certainly. As you wish."

Immediately, I felt a very strange sensation, like the borders of my soul were suddenly ripped off, and the underparts were left naked and raw in the wind. Then streams of the deepest sadness I have ever felt rushed towards me, like water filling an empty ship that was slowly sinking towards the dark depths of the ocean floor. Mixed amidst that sadness was such an intense rage and hunger, that my own emotions were immediately on alert and waves of fear gripped me- suddenly I couldn't breathe, like I was literally underwater and without air- like my very self was being consumed in all that darkness, from all directions, and I just started convulsing and my body erupted with fresh points of pain.

"See? You don't know what you ask for." The sensation was immediately gone.

I couldn't even speak, I just desperately gasped for air.

"Eric...You are... Oh my God....So...sad, in so much...pain..."

"Of course I am. Godric has been with me... was...with me... since I became a vampire. I can only barely remember what life was like without him. Even though he wasn't there physically... I always felt him, just slightly... I always knew that he was there. I didn't need him to be by my physical side. We had something much, much deeper. I always knew that he would come for me, at a moments notice, if I ever needed him. I loved him- unconditionally- like a Parent, like a master, like a lover, like a God. That feeling became a part of me. HE was a part of me. I so selfishly, took that for granted... I never imagined... well, never realistically imagined, that he would ever really do such a thing... If only you knew him as his former self. So his death came as a complete shock. You can't possibly understand this connection Sookie, what a vampire soul feels like. It isn't often that Vampires make it to Godrics age, even to my age for that matter. And in that time, with every passing year, our souls became even more entwined. When we were together, often it seemed as though we were literally one. That is why- It was so easy for me- despite how much I love life, and I love life as much as a being could possibly love life- That is why, that it was easy for me to say that I would die with him...for him. It was not only out of loyalty. I felt his despair, too strongly. I essentially became his despair, and his joy, at the thought of death. If he hadn't ordered me away, I would have gladly met the sun with him. I would have wanted to prevent myself from this pain I am in now, as well. It is almost...unbearable."

"So...you're saying that... you feel this way, all the time?! And... there isn't anything at all you can do about it?!"

"Yes. Mostly. I will feel it....forever. I can only distract myself from it, and learn to bury it now. I will never escape this deep hole I have inside me. Distract myself... and, as I explained, reduce your pain, when I feel it, because the combination of both our pain in one moment, is...almost...too much. And believe me- I have suffered the most any being can possibly suffer physically. I have been ripped to shreds. I have had my head cut off. I have been burnt to a crispy skeleton. And yet... this pain, combined with your pain.... is unlike any of it... I suppose it is because you are a telepath, your emotions are much more potent to me. If I had known what Godric was up to, I wouldn't have... I wouldn't have given you my blood. So now you can understand my reasons for being here. I am not just trying to help you because I want something- I am desperately trying to help myself.

But besides that- I feel I owe you a great debt for being at his side in the end. So I have promised myself, to interfere with any harm that may come to you, and to protect you, as long as you live, or- as long as I live... Whatever is the longest."

"That's sweet and all, but... apparently you gotta take care of yourself, too Eric. Do you even know how to have fun anymore? I don't think moping around at Fangtasia could snap you out of this. I bet if you..."

I was trying to be helpful. I really did feel sorry for him... I had no idea he was so utterly and completely...depressed. I mean, he was still acting like his usual self, making sarcastic remarks and all... I mean, I did see him break down there on the roof, which completely took me by surprise. I had no idea he COULD be capable of that kind of emotional bond with another. He truly did love Godric. But I had thought he had brushed it off, in a kind of "shit happens" attitude, and that he had moved on. I was so wrong. He was in much worse shape than I thought. I wondered if Pam knew.

"Sookie! Speak no more of these things which you could not possibly understand! Imagine Sookie- A very ancient castle, made of stone, that has stood the test of time, filled with the most amazing, stunningly beautiful things- Now imagine, that the castle roof has been torn off in a hurricane, and now the rain is coming down in torrents... the third floor is completely washed away, and exists no longer. The second floor, is facing a constant stream of cold water, that runs and ruins everything it touches. The ceiling is crumbling, the carpets are disintegrating with mould, and the furniture weakens, buckles and warps from the water damage so now it only resembles a grotesque shadowy structure- a blasphemy of what it was intended to be. And the first floor....the most important one.. is losing structural integrity. It could collapse at any moment. It is a very fragile balance. When everything collapses.... I do not know what will happen. I may turn into a total beast. I may decide to kill myself. I do not wish to find out."

I could not believe that he was telling me this. Opening up...so freely. I didn't like Eric, for the manipulative aggressive nature that he had, but I certainly didn't want him to kill himself.

"Eric, you're wrong. I know exactly what it feels like."

He turned to look at me, and I saw that his eyes were rimmed with his red tears. He looked incredulous, like I had just slapped him- stunned that I would attempt to empathize with HIM.

"You're not so special. Maybe you have lived like a thousand more years than me, but in the end- so what? In the end... loss is the same. And I know what that feels like. See... my parents died with I was young, but even so, my Gran was always my real parent. She wasn't scared of me, like they were. She loved me from the beginning. She was the only one I felt I could always count on. Everyone else... even my brother, or my best friend Tara, they were scared of me at times, of what I could do... I never felt entirely accepted, or loved, by them. I mean, I don't blame them! What I do... can be... scary, and violating. But Gran made me feel like I was special, and she made me feel safe and loved. She was my Gran, and my Mom, and my teacher, and my best friend. I knew that I could always count on her- You probably think it's funny, counting on an old withered human and all- but I knew, no matter what- she loved me that much. She would do anything for me. I saw it in her mind. And every morning I woke up, and I felt her mind in the house, and it always made me feel a little spark of joy- That I could get up, and on with the day, no matter what happened- because she was just.... THERE. I felt her always. She became a part of me. The way she felt in my mind, AND... the way she taught me about life, her morals and values, and her sense of ME. And then... when I came home one night, not even a year ago... I found her murdered body. And.... she was... just gone. I never felt her again. And it felt like a big piece of me had been ripped away, a REALLY big piece. And suddenly, I was really alone. Alone with nobody that really knew me, and alone in this house. And it made me think all sorts of things... Who am I? And more recently... WHAT am I? I mean, there is really strange messed up stuff going on with me- blue sparks are freaking' shooting out of my hands Eric! That's certainly...not a normal human thing to be happening! - And I have no idea why! And there isn't anyone around to tell me, to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright, that no matter what happens they'll love me and care for me when i'm so scared..."

Now my words faded as the tears started coming, and I couldn't stop them once I really remembered that I would never see gran again. Well, at least not for a long while.... until I'm dead.

Eric pressed his face next to my cheek again, and then turned my face so that he could gently kiss my lips as I continued to cry like a little girl. But I soon realized I was being silly and had cried about that more than enough, and quickly reigned in my tears.

"Perhaps you do understand. ....a little."

We didn't say anything else. After that I was exhausted, and just wanted to go to sleep. I lay on my side, and Eric rubbed my back as I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a place I had never been before, somewhere wonderful, where neither of us was in pain.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up, and for a brief, almost blissful moment- I had thought that last night was a dream. Another one of those intense Eric sex dreams with a bizzare twist.

Then I rolled over.

Waves of throbbing pain radiated throughout my body and I felt my face contort as I groaned.

Definitely not a dream!

I sat up, and surveyed the damage. It was my arm, my broken arm, that hurt the most. I was covered in bruises, but they weren't huge black and blue ones that I thought I would see when I opened my eyes. They were already fading, yellowy purple bruises, and the cuts that I had closed quite well, leaving bright spots of new pink healed flesh, instead of scabbs and scrapes. It looked like I already spent a week healing- It still really freakin hurt, but- I had to admit, Eric licking me all over had some use, besides the obvious "use" it gave me at the time.

Eric. Wow, He had been so...strange. And almost... human. I don't even remember him leaving, I was so exhausted I think I fell into a dead sleep pretty soon after we... after we, you know.

I tried to stretch a little, to ease the pain in my aching limbs. I turned my head and noticed a note on my bedside table, along with a glass of water and a little pill. The note said:

"Dear Sookie, you must take this pill as soon as you get up. And no, the bowels of hell will not open up and pull you down into an eternity of torture when you do so. Remember what I said, don't go searching for more guilt. If you set your mind on looking for it, you'll see there is always some to be found. -Eric."

I snorted. Yeah, yeah... he probably thought my religion was hilarious. But I actually thought abortion was a good thing- I have been in the minds of way too many ungrateful parents. I do value every living life, but bringing a life into the world that you can't care for, and don't want- well it just makes the world a worse place. The way I say it, abortion was like saying "Thanks for the suggestion God, but no thanks, that's not something I can handle right now, please give this soul to someone who can care for it the way it deserves. I'll have a rain-check though." Those unwanted people, turn into... well, they probably turn into that guy that raped me. I bet he wouldn't have done that, if he had a proper Mom who read stories to him at night, and told him he could be whatever he wanted to be, that he was loved... Ugh. Not that having a bad parent was ANY kind of excuse for what he did. In the end, no matter what's been done to you, it's always your choice to hurt another human being.

I gulped. I definitely didn't want to think about that man anymore. It didn't matter anyway, because whatever Eric did end up doing to him, I was sure that it killed him.

I leaned my head to look at the alarm. Oh shit! I was due at Merlottes in less than two hours- I would have to phone Sam right away so he could cover my shift while I went to the hospital.

After I gulped down the pill, I lurched as I slowly made my way downstairs to make the phone call. When I reached the phone I noticed that the answering machine light was on, that I had missed 12 calls, and that I had three messages. I must have been in a really deep sleep to miss that...

The most recent one was from Tara.

"Where you at Sook?! I already tried your cell, and then noticed it rang straight to your car! I just got here for the lunch shift and Sam told me you left your car in the parking lot last night, and that he already tried callin you a bunch of times, and sent Terry over to knock on your door, but I thought I'd try in case you was mad at Sam for some reason or somethin.' One or both of us is going over there soon, you're freakin' us out this definitely isn't like you so I'll understand if you're in one of your "Bill missing moods" but just give us a call girl! It's pretty slow today so I had to start drinkin Vodka shots I'm so worked up, and it's yo' damn fault if I get drunk and cuss someone out!" *click*

"Hi, this is Dr. Jane Hollston, from Wagging Tails Vet Clinic, for a Sookie Stackhouse? I have here a beautiful pup named Lupe here that had an unfortunate accident- she required some minor surgery on her paw, but she is stable now and I believe she will recover wonderfully. She should stay another night for observation, but you can pick her up anytime tomorrow at this address: 1632..."

I skipped the rest of the message for now. I felt a little spark of joy at knowing Lupe was doing well.

The first one had been from Sam.

"Hi, Sookie- I got back early this mornin', looks like you did a swell job taking care of the bar for me, everything looks in order. But I see your car is still parked out there- I figured you had car troubles last nite? Hope you found a ride home okay. I'll take a look at it for you, phone me back and I'll pick you up to take you over here a bit earlier than your shift. I don't know too much about fixin' cars, but I've picked up a few tricks here and there. IF it turns out to be something mysterious I have a buddy that could probably do it for free, or really cheap. Talk soon, thanks again."

I picked up the phone, and was halfway dialling the number of Merlottes when I realized.. what would I say? HOW would I describe what happened? A series of chills shook my body and I swallowed hard. I put the phone back down. But... there just wasn't any easy way of doing it.

I took a deep breath, and dialled the numbers again. Sam answered right away.

"Sookie! Did you have a relaxing mornin' sleepin in?"

"No... not really. I uh, dont need help with my car, there's nothin' wrong with it... but thanks for the thought anyway. I do though... need time off... to go to the hospital." My voice kind of surprised me. It sounded crackily and strained, exactly as if I'd spent the night screaming and crying.

"The hospital?! Of course Sookie, what for?? Was there an accident at the bar last night?"

"No, no, not really... It was after I closed up. In the parking lot..." here I gulped, I felt the tears coming as I saw flashes of the experience in my mind. I continued.

"..There was a man, he came at me from behind- he was real big and burly, I saw him before, he's got an ugly nose and shaggy black hair, I think he was a trucker, he hangs around Willie Crout and those losers...he was thinking the most...disgusting...things about me, and then...he was-"

"Yeah, yeah, I think I know who you mean!.... That fucker attacked you in the parking lot??! What did he do to you, and Why- and where the fuck was LaFayette?" Sam yelled.

"I'm so stupid Sam! It's all my fault! LaFayette really wanted to go dancing to this band, so I said he should go early since it wasn't busy, then I was alone, but I never thought... Sam- he waited for two hours after everyone had left!- He....He...came at me so fast, I couldn't..."

"Oh, No noooo Sookie, tell me he didn't.... you know... have his way with you....?"

"Yeah, that would be the nicest way possibe of putting it." I sniffled.

"Jesus Christ! I'm coming over right now, and I'm calling Bud Dearborn-"

"No, DON'T! I mean, yes, please come over Sam but you can't call Sheriff Dearborn. I think the guy might be dead...." I said desperately.

"Oh no, hell that can be taken care of, nobody will blame you if..."

"No, I didn't do it... It was Eric, okay? We'll call later but I'll just say I had no idea who it was... if they go investigating I don't want to cause shit for Eric after he pretty much saved my life. I just want to forget about it, forget everything about it!!"

"Of course Sookie honey, I'm leaving as I speak- but how badly are you hurt?"

"Just one broken bone I think, and lotsa bruises... i'm mostly fine...just...shook up is all."

I put down the phone, and thought that maybe I should make some tea to try and force away some of the dirty chilled feeling I had inside me. I remembered what Eric said last night... That I could be a victim or choose to think about things differently, but... I didn't see how. I felt horrible about what happened, and horrible that I literally got off ON Eric!

The tea took twice as long to make, because I only had the use of my one arm. Just as I was pouring it into my cup, Sam arrived.

The way he looked at me scared me. Like he was both terrified, and... sort of like he had been kicked in the balls or something. Evidently he felt pretty bad for me, and his thoughts were all about doing angry things to the rapist that was already dead.

"Sam... It's okay... I mean... it was so horrible! Of course, but...I'm fine now, Eric actually took pretty good care of me here last night."

He through his arms around me, and I jumped a little as he put pressure on my bad shoulder.

"I am so sooo sorry this happened to you- I wish I hadn't of gone away that weekend, and I should have made it more clear to LaFayette that he was not to abandon you there by yourself! Come on, i'll help you get dressed for the hospital if you want...."

"No. Can you just sit here with me, for a bit, first? Have some tea with me, something really normal? I'd really like that. If we didn't talk about it right away."

"Yeah, of course, yeah if that'll help make you feel better."

He poured himself a glass of tea as well.

"So...um... what have you been up to? When are you going to tell us what you are mysteriously doing when you sometimes leave on the weekends? Tara and I have a bet running. She thinks you have a secret lover, LaFayatte thinks you're stripping, but I didn't think you'd keep that sort of thing a secret. My money was on that you were joining the circus on the side... " I smiled slightly, despite the serious situation, I couldn't keep a straight face.

"Hey now, that's actually not funny because as a kid I did do the whole Carney gig for a bit- but it was actually a lot of fun. I ran some of the rides- I wasn't "Sam the Dog Boy" or anythin'. Get to meet a lot of interestin folks that way, that for sure. Nah, my reason ain't all that exciting. It's the most normal reason in the world actually."

"Okay, spit it out then." I grinned.

"I found my real folks. I'd rather not get into it at the moment- I'll just say, they are very...interesting but complex people. I've been trying to try to, you know, get to know them despite our differences."

"Oh my! That is just...wonderful! I'm so happy for you!" I took his hand.

He took his other hand and placed it on mine, and gave me that pathetic look again.

"Sookie, if there is anything I can do for you-"

"I told you Sam, i'm doing okay!"

"Sookie, quit! You always put up this tough face, but I know you must be hurting. If there is anything you want... besides time off... tell me what I can do for you. An all inclusive trip to Mexico for a week? A shopping spree? A big houseparty? You have been through just... too much lately. You know I'm not loaded, but I'm comfortable enough and don't need much, so whatever it is I can probably help you out."

"Thanks...really...you're a sweetheart Sam. But- I don't know, I don't think I want anything right now. I just want things to go back to Normal. I want Bill to come back... real badly... and I don't think you could help me with that one."

"Maybe I can. I'll see. I know people, here and there. They're sort of like...trackers, bounty hunters. I could call in a favour, if there are any leads. Usually I hate to get up in Vamp business, but... this time of course, I'll do it for you Sookie, if I can. I'm not promising anything, just that... I'll give it a shot. Maybe we'll get lucky."

"Omigod, thank you Sam! If there was any way, you could find out...anything... that would make me, really happy!" I hugged him.

"Good. I want to see that. You being happy." He ran his hand over my cheek, the one with the gash.

"Hey, these wounds don't look from last night though..."

"Yeah, well... Eric has magick spit, and he spit on me, and it was gross, and- end of that conversation, okay?"

"I...see. Just watch out for that guy though, promise me?"

"Yeah, I get that advise from everyone, I know. I think... he's not that bad though. Sometimes. I mean he stayed with me all night, being nice the whole time...he put this on my arm."

Sam's face scowled, and he looked like he was going to say something, but he didn't. We soon headed off to the hospital so I could get checked out, and have a cast done.

I told the nurses and doctors that I fell down my stairs, my "really really long" stairway. I was a good actress because I could tell from their thoughts that they believed me. One of the doctors was perplexed at my makeshift "splint" that Eric made. He said that it resembled a technique used in Victorian times. Then he started going on and on and on about really boring Victorian medical stuff, so I just said "I don't know anythign about that, but my Vampire friend does, do you want his number, you could ask HIM all about it?" I knew I was being real bitchy, but I was in pain and he had a really really annoying voice and even more annoying thoughts. He politely declined and shut up after that.

On the way back from the hospital, Sam stopped at the hardware store.

"I'll be back in about 10 minutes Sookie. I already know what I'm here for, and I'm not willing to put it off another day. We're getting some security installed at Merlottes."

"Security, like cameras? Ew, I mean, I always felt sorry for employees that had to work in those places where Cameras record everything all day, it's creepy, you don't want to start-"

"Sookie! This is not up for negotiation! You were just attacked, outside my bar! I'm responsible for that! Before that, a dead voodoo priestess showed up there! And then, there was... hell, I don't even want to say that bitch's name! Maybe if I had security cameras from the beginning, people would think twice about dumping bodies and raping my employees!!"

He slammed the car door hard.

When he returned with the equipment, he apologized.

"Sorry, Sookie. Didn't mean to take that out on you. I just used to think this was a friendly town, a place where you wouldn't have to worry about things like that happening."

"Yeah. Tell me about it."

We rode in silence, mostly. When we got back to my place, it was already evening. Before he left Sam explained that I was being forced to take two weeks off of work. I protested considerably, but he wouldn't have any of it.

"Working helps my brain Sam! I don't like to take breaks for that long, when I come back, it'll be more painful to listen to thoughts... I try to avoid that!"

"Sookie, I said you weren't working. I didn't say you couldn't come in to Merlottes, to eat and hang out. In fact, I'd really like it if you did that. It would be good for you. You really shouldn't be by yourself through this. You're welcome to come, but only if you sit around and relax, and don't wait tables. And I'm still paying you- cause it is partly my fault. If I had good security- do you think he would have done that, if he thought he'd be caught? Probably not! Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow, you can come in and have lunch? On the house of course. Everyone wants to see you. Everyone's worried about you..."

"Argh, I didn't want you to say anything!"

"I figured. But of course your friends care about you, and want to know whats going on, they have a right to know, to help you through this... despite how stubborn you are about it."

"Fine.. I guess I'll come visit for a bit...and have lunch and play cards or somethin."

**

The next day Sam came over to pick me up, and when I mentioned Lupe was at a vet clinic, he drove me over to get her. He really liked Lupe and was also ecstatic that she seemed to be recovering well. The vet assistants seemed almost reluctant to let her go, that was the way she was, friendly with everyone- well, except people that were attacking me that is. Eric had already paid the bill in full, so that was one less thing I had to worry about.

I sat down in a booth, ordered a burger and fries, and had to suffer through Tara, LaFayatte, Terry, and Arlene being weird and extra nice to me.

I wish they had acted this way when Bill left, but instead they had mostly avoided me with a few "Sorry, I heard, but maybe it's for the best..." sort of shit. But this was easier to deal with than losing Bill- they couldn't understand that for some reason. They just walked on eggshells all day, pretty much- as if I would explode, or freak out at any moment. I wasn't too hungry, so I ended up giving a lot of my burger to Lupe who was quite happy with that arrangement.

Sam was busy trying to install the security system. There were cameras inside the bar, in the front and back, in the kitchen area, and in Sam's office. It was a wireless system, so it was supposed to be super easy to set up, but Sam was having a hard time with it.

"I'm not gettin' it. I did everything it said..." He sat at my booth, with his laptop.

"See? This is the software, but when I attempt to connect, it keeps saying there is some kind of interference on the same frequency. Something is jamming my cameras, stopping them from transmitting correctly."

"Sam, I dunno much about technology. Maybe it's just broken?"

"Nope. See this? He pointed to a graph of some kind. This here shows me that there is definitely something getting in the way. It wouldn't be the TV. I thought maybe someone had some weird fancy GPS out in the parking lot, but nobody here today has anything like that. Sookie, just to be sure... I want to check things out. If I shift, I'll be able to hear better, I'll be able to hear the buzz of an electronic transmission if there is one. So give me a sec- I'll run out in a bit as "Dean", if anyone asks you can just say I'm a friend of Lupe's, I guess."

I laughed. "Well yeah, you are a friend of Lupe's, and she's going to get so excited when she finds out what you can do!"

A couple minutes later, Sam- or rather, "Dean" the Dog, ran out from the back, with his ears perked up, and his head cocked to the side. He wandered to the left, and to the right, and then suddenly, ran right up to Lupe, who of course, started wagging her tail viciously and showered Dead with kisses. But Dean didn't look like he was in the mood for fun. He just stood there completely frozen for a second, and then suddenly bolted right into the back again. I looked around, and the few people that were there hadn't seemed to notice another dog in the bar.

When Sam came back out, his face was red, and he looked PISSED OFF. He strode right over to me with a knife in his hand, and gently picked up Lupe.

"Sam... Watcha doin'? What's going on?"

He didn't say anything. He just took the knife, and sliced Lupe's blue collar off her kneck. Lupe whined in protest. He then took the collar in his teeth, and with a firm grip, sliced it down the middle.

I gasped, and immediately felt sick.

Inside Lupe's collar, was a circuit-board of some kind, and WIRES, and what looked like a pinhole camera.

"Oh...my...God... I can't believe this!" Now I was really pissed off as well.

"That certainly explains it! Some sick fuck gave you a bugged collar Sookie!!"

"No, not a sick fuck.... A sick VAMPIRE fuck!!"

"You're referring to Eric again, aren't you? Jesus...! He has taken this obsession with you too far. I'm going to go over there and tell him to leave you alone, for good! You aren't in any Vampire business anymore, there's NO REASON why he should be doing this to you Sookie!"

Everyone in the bar was staring at me as I began to cry.

"I feel...so...so...violated! I mean, I let Lupe come into the bathroom with me, I cuddled with her all the time, I talked out loud to her all the time... and he could have been watching me...listening to everything I said! But don't get involved Sam, just DON'T! You CAN'T- He might hurt you! So just...stay away from this, okay??! I'm gonna handle this myself, soon as nightfall comes I am totally going to give him shit!"

With this, I grabbed the collar from Sam's hand, and stomped on it, as hard as I could.

"No-Not after what just happened!" Sam crossed his arms and was trying to look authoritative.

"He won't hurt me. I know it. He'll probably just... laugh at me!"

I grabbed Lupe, and stormed outside. I just wanted to be alone. How could he do this? To take care of me last night... so gently, and almost like he cared... to only, basically, be raping my privacy in secret at the same time?!

It was a good thing it was still 5 hours away from sunset, because if I had talked to him now, I bet I would have said a lot of nasty things I would have regretted- but boy, is he ever going to get it when he wakes up tonite.

Maybe I shouldn't even call him. No, obviously he'll find out if he's been spying on me. I'll just wait around until that bastard comes to me. I couldn't believe it. I almost started to change my mind about him. I should have listened to everybody who said he couldn't be trusted. I shouldn't have trusted my own heart....


	5. Chapter 5

I sat at my kitchen table, reading a romance novel, sipping on hot chocolate, fuming with anger. I channelled that anger, turning it into an ugly bright red ray that I visualized as being dispersed out into the world to land directly on Eric's ass.

Rape was one thing. I saw that man's mind- how completely shallow and petty it had been, like the dank putrid swamp of Louisiana. He was a monstrous man, incapable of understanding anything but himself. Like Rene. I saw right through him- and I was pretty much over that experience by now. I couldn't dwell on it more than I could dwell on a snakebite. There was no point. But Eric... what he had done to me was different.

Eric- with his thousand years of experience- knew exactly what he was doing. And that sort of violation hurt more, I decided. Because he can see further. He does know the consequences his actions will have on others. He just doesn't give a damn. He not only stole my emotions- he would be emotionally raping me my entire life- I realized with complete horror. But that wasn't enough- no, the asshole had to go and violate my ENTIRE life by spying on me. And what for? What could he possibly gain from this, except some form of sick voyeuristic pleasure?

I knew I should look his "gift horse" in the mouth, but I didn't think it would literally turn out to be a TROJAN HORSE.

But I wasn't gonna call him. I wasn't going to waste another minute talking to that man. I mean... Vampire. I don't think he has much in common with a real man. I couldn't believe I thought I briefly saw some kind of....lovable vulnerability in him. An act, no doubt, so that I would remain complacent.

He would find out, obviously, that I had find out, and if there was any kind of decency left in him, he would slither over here and apologize. But hey, I certainly wasn't going to hold my breath.

It was around 2am when I finally heard that familiar KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK pounding on the door. I had been harnessing my anger ever since sundown, but I was surprised by the intensity of my rage when I realized he had arrived.

I didn't get up. I continued to sit, fuming. He KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK- ed again.

Finally a voice said "Sookie, I know you are there. You invited me in, so I can come right on in if I have to."

I said nothing.

He knocked again.

I said nothing.

Then the door opened. I continued reading, not even looking up to see him step into the kitchen and stand by the counter, where he remained silent for a couple minutes, no doubt waiting for me to address his presence.

I turned the pages, and sipped my 5th glass of hot chocolate. I started humming one of my favourite lullabies.

"Sookie." he said, and then waited. "Sookie, this is childish behaviour. I wish to discuss the circumstances-"

"What the fuck is there to discuss Eric??! NOTHING! You are a selfish prick with some sick voyeuristic fetish and I NEVER want to see you again."

"I'm glad you have dropped the 'silent treatment.' Human females seem to believe this works, but most of the time we actually would prefer if you shut up. If I had a choice, I wouldn't have done that to you. But... I had to. You are very difficult to observe, your emotions are...tumultuous. It is difficult to determine through the bond which emotions are real- strong emotions of pain or fear that require action on my part- or if they are simply passing thoughts of yours, possibly even thoughts you are picking up from others... You are very difficult to read, I had discovered, and I thought this was the best way to...."

"Hey, here's a brilliant idea! Why not just phone me up if you think somethings wrong?! How about just giving me a phone call and saying 'Hey Sookie, I got a weird feeling through that blood bond thing, is everything all right? Anything I can help you with?' Then I can just say 'No, I'm quite fine thanks, you can leave me the fuck alone now!'"

"Yes, I know that you are angry. And... I sacrifice myself to you. Here, I'll be your symbolic punching bag."

"And to think... when you gave me that puppy... I had thought you were growing a little soft, maybe growing back a bit of your heart!"

"Oh, I'll never grow soft with you Sookie", he said with a sly grin.

Then he walked towards me, and held out his arms.

"Here, go ahead. Beat me all you want. I deserve it. I broke your trust. I should have told you I would be monitoring you."

"What, you actually want me to hit you?!"

"Yes. If it dissipates your anger toward me. I dislike your anger, to experience it is quite annoying. Go ahead. Bring it on."

"Oh, I will sure as hell BRING IT ON!"

With that I rose from my seat, and began pounding my fists into Eric as hard as I could manage without breaking my wrists. I would have bit him but, you know... that would just mean I had more of his blood, and he'd probably enjoy that.

My fists pounded into his chest with hollow thuds- and he just stood there, as if I were nothing more than a lowly gnat. This wasn't going to dissipate my anger if he barely felt any of it. I needed to hurt him....like he hurt me.

While still hitting him with one fist, I reached into the cutlery drawer with the other, and brought out a fork- which I promptly stabbed into his right peck, as deep as it would go.

This time- Eric reacted. He flinched and shuddered as his flesh hissed. It was Gran's SILVER salad fork. The big kind, 5 times the size of a regular fork. I smiled.

I pulled it out, then promptly buried it in the left side of his chest. He stared at me with eyes filled of surprise, and PAIN. He stumbled backwards, and leaned against the wall. I stabbed him again, and again in the chest, and then finally, with all the force I could manage, I slashed the right side of his face. It was deep- I could see a bit of bone as his flesh sizzled. For my final act of "dissipating my anger"- I leaned in close as he hissed in agony, trailed my fingers around the hem of his jeans, and stuffed the large salad fork down his pants.

He was right. I did feel better. I felt triumphantly better. I smiled smugly at him. Hey, it was his idea, right? The bastard literally asked for it.

I expected him to howl, to react strongly and call me a bitch, to yank the fork out and throw it against the wall- anything. But.... He just sank down lower to the floor, with a low hiss, his eyes vacant and empty- as if with a quiet defeat. He sat like this for a long moment.

"Eric? Say somethin', you're weirdin' me out now... "

"Sookie... you feel better now? Then...please....remove...the silver... I think my genitals...are literally....half burnt off...."

"Omigod! Groossss! Ugh! Why don't YOU??"

"Too weak. The silver is in my bloodstream.... I'll heal but... it will be longer than usual...."

Then I was hit with an intense barrage of pain and sadness. It only lasted a couple seconds, but it was enough so that I felt myself start to collapse.

"That was...not intentional...I apologize. I'm losing my concentration. If you do not remove the silver, you will further experience my pain..."

"Okay, okay! I'll take it out!"

I immediately undid Eric's jeans and felt for the fork. Before I found the fork, I found his raging hard erection. I felt an instantaneous jolt of lust, as if his dick had actually electrocuted me. I quickly moved my hand. The fork was lying to the side, barely touching his abdomen- it was between his jeans and his boxers. I took it out, and threw it to the floor with a clatter.

He was staring at me intently, his eyes glazed over in pain or pleasure, I couldn't tell.

Until he opened the gate of the bond again- as he grabbed my hand, and placed it back on his cock. I was overwhelmed with the same feelings of melancholy, mixed with a deep desperate desire.

Those feelings mirrored my own.

I gasped and froze, as my heartbeat and breath began to gallop together in my chest.

I closed my eyes and swallowed, but did not remove my hand. Instead, I wrapped my fingers around his thick cock and began slowly caressing his length, down to his balls.

He uttered a deep moan, and he reacted by moving his hips forward, thrusting his cock through my closed hand.

I knew it was really wrong....but at the same time, pleasuring him like that, felt SOO good, so much more good, than it had to stab him with the silver fork.

I had a better idea. A better plan for revenge.

I trailed my fingers back up his shaft, until I reached the head of his cock where a drop of cum was forming. I swirled my finger around and felt him tremble.

I opened my eyes, and found that Eric had now closed his eyes as well. His face was pretty much healed at this point, there was only a slight pink indent to prove that I had slashed his cheek open.

I grabbed the sides of his jeans, and started pulling them down. I gave Eric my best lusty eyes I could manage as I watched his eyes open and meet mine, and I slipped his jeans down to his perfect ass.

Then, in one smooth instant- I plunged my face forward and took the head of his cock inside my mouth. I could tell he was surprised because his body reacted with an intense shudder and he moaned gutturally.

"Sookie.... Oh...yessss..." he whispered.

I swirled my tongue around and took my right hand and began pumping his shaft slowly but deliberately, and with the other I began to squeeze his balls, quite hard.

I have to admit, I was enjoying myself a bit... and some uncontrollable moans escaped my lips, which seemed to put him in even more of a frantic lusty mood, as his hips responded. I removed the hand that was cupping his balls- and quickly shoved my free hand down my panties where I began stroking myself. I was getting pretty wet at this point. The numerous sex dreams I had with Eric came flooding back to me- how much I wanted him in those dreams, how much my pussy ached to have him inside me- how I only felt fulfilled after he pounded into me until my back arched with orgasm and I felt his cum dripping down my legs. (In my dreams I had even liked licking the cum off of his balls. Ew.)

And I wanted him soooo badly right now. The aching was building up inside me- and it could only be relived with ERIC. Bill was so very far away in my mind at that moment, but I still felt a bit guilty. Oh well, this wasn't about MY PLEASURE.... this was about.... ERIC'S TORTURE.

His eyes were half open, and he barely saw me it seemed as I climbed onto his lap and positioned myself over his cock, and descended on him in one swift motion. I gasped, partly with pain and partly with pleasure, as my pussy stretched for him. He was more substantial than Bill was.

I began riding him immediately, quickly and feverishly, with one hand placed at the entrance of my mound working my clit. My other hand rested on his shoulder, and my eyes remained closed as I felt the intense pleasure building close to orgasm.

I could feel Eric starting to loose control, as his hips began to move with mine and thrust into me harder and HARDER as he grunted deeply and grasped my hips, urging me to move faster- even though I was pretty much going as fast as I possibly could.

With every thrust my pleasure intensified- until It was completely unbearable and I exploded inside, moaning loudly- with one hand still stroking my clit, and the other grabbing Eric's hair.

I immediately unmounted him, his hardness showing me he hadn't yet reached his own sublime finish. I lay on the floor, panting with a stream of my wetness running down my thighs, and I looked directly at him.

"Now get the fuck out of my house Eric. Your invitation has been rescinded."

He looked at me with absolute shock and I smiled widely.

"You sure AREN'T ....going soft with ME, Eric..." I said in a teasing voice, as I watched him rise and move backwards out of the kitchen and through the front door.

I was about to have the most relaxing sleep I had since the night of Bill's disappearance. I blame it all on those romance novels. The last one I read was particularly full of smut when Eric arrived. Plus... the night before... was a particularly memorable dream. I barely had a choice in the matter, I really felt I NEEDED to have him inside of me, even though I completely hated him.

I felt I was killing two birds with one stone. I thought that if I experienced fucking him, then it would be easier to just "get him out of my system" for good- PLUS, I knew that denying him his orgasm inside me was probably more torturous than the fork stabbing had been.

I had to act like a sneaky bastard to get back at a sneaky bastard. I just hoped that when Bill came back, he would understand...like Eric had explained.

...If I told him.


	6. Chapter 6

The morning after I woke up feeling absolutely horrible about what I had done.

Oh my. I had stabbed Eric.... a bunch of times... with a dull SILVER fork. Does it really give me an excuse because he's a vampire? I didn't think so. I shouldn't be stabbing ANYONE like that, it doesn't matter if they have fangs or not, and it doesn't matter that they were spying on me.

I didn't know I had it in me to be so vicious. Even though he can heal quickly... I could tell that it hurt him, A LOT. I could have just told him off, then rescinded his invitation, and swore I never wanted to work for him, or even see him ever again- and that would have been it..

But no. I stabbed him till he collapsed... and then I... practically RAPED HIM on my kitchen floor.

Why does he get to me like that? Make me so incredibly angry....and...horny... at the same time??!

And when I thought about it, I realized with creeping shame that maybe he really was just trying to help- maybe in his messed up Vampire mind- he didn't know any better. How could I truly be angry at him then, if he was only doing it because he thought it was the best way to protect me?

I mean... he is like... a thousand years older than me... he probably views me the same way I would view a 3 year old child. I bet he didn't even consider explaining his actions to me, because he figures my mind is too juvenile to understand the situation fully. He might not be trying to deceive me intentionally... exactly... in that case.

And didn't my actions pretty much prove his point that I am overly emotional?

Darn.

**

I wanted to sleep in, remain completely lazy in bed curled up with a book on my day off, but at around 10am I heard Jason's truck pull up.

I was sort of relieved when I learned that he had learned about the "Incident" from LayFayette, because I still hadn't thought of the right words to explain what happened. I just wanted to avoid talking about it as much as possible. It's not that I didn't want him to know, exactly... I just knew that he would freak out, and I would have to end up comforting HIM and explaining that it's alright. He's always been protective of me- he used to beat up kids at our school who called me stupid names like "Suckie Sookie".

As soon as I opened the door he wrapped his arms around me in a gigantic hug and I had to tell him to let go so I could keep breathing.

"Sookie! Is what LaFayette said true??!"

"Well...I'm assumin' you aren't talkin' bout the new dinner special at Merlotte's... so Yeah....I was attacked."

"I'm gonna smash that bastard fucker! I swear I'll rip out every one of his teeth, and then-"

"No, Jason! You can't, he's...dead! Eric already killed him! Just... don't... I mean, it's fine! I'm fine now, just sit down and have some coffee with me, okay? I wanted to tell you, but... I needed a day or two of some quiet, that's all. Of not hearing people's thoughts about it!"

"Then how come LaFayette and Terry and even Hoyt knew about it??! How come I had to find out from the road crew, huh?"

That was Jason. Getting more upset at something as trivial as being the last to know the town gossip.

I figured LaFayette would have the sense to let me tell Jason myself- so I bet it was Hoyt who first started babbling on about it- probably because he overheard it from his mom.

"Because you know how things go around! Hoyt probably overheard, and just figured you knew. I didn't tell ANYONE except Sam, and that was because it happened at his bar, and then he told the other staff. There's no conspiracy. Just calm down. I'll talk about the details some other time, but I'm just not ready yet. Okay? Can you.... get that?"

"Yeah, of course Sookie, I got that. Believe me, I know about not wanting to talk about horrible stuff that's happened to you. But- it's..... taken care of, right?"

"Well, yeah... he definitely won't be doing that to anyone else ever again."

"I'm so so sorry Sookie! You have had such bad times lately... and you don't deserve any of it!"

He wrapped me in another smothering hug.

"No, I don't. Well, nobody deserves stuff like that, really. Hey, do you want to stay for lunch, we'll make grilled cheese and fries, and play monopoly?"

"Sounds great! Well, I also brought you somethin'... it's in the truck."

He returned with a giant stuffed baby seal, a boquet of yellow roses, and a large box of my favourite chocolates.

"I know this won't really... make you feel all that better I guess, but... I ah, hope it helps. Last time you went through trouble I was still being a dick. And, I'm sorry I wasn't really there for you..."

"Aw, thanks! I understand... you had your own issues, you weren't yourself Jason. I know that you care! But why a seal?"

"I dunno. They had bears... and a tiger... and I thought maybe you wouldn't want any kind of animal that had pointy teeth, it might... you know... remind you of Bill?"

"Oh. Um, I hadn't thought of that... but thanks, that's thoughtful."

I didn't want to tell him that seals also had sharp teeth. It was fuzzy and cute, and that was all that mattered. It was the perfect thing to snuggle and bury your face into when you're too sad to even cry.

**

Later that afternoon, after Jason had left, I answered a phone call from Sam.

"Sookie! You aren't going to believe this, but I got great news! I have information about Bill!"

"What, REALLY?!" My heart immediately began to race and I felt like I would almost faint.

"Well... it's more like... some good news, and... some bad news. What would you like first?"

"The good news, of course! I hope the bad isn't...too bad..."

"Well, I'll let you be the judge of that. First of all, I asked some Weres who owed me a favour to scope out Bill's house to catch his scent, and keep the scent fresh in their minds in case they came across it in their usual patrols. They like to know when new Vamps are in their territory... so in this matter, although they usually keep to themselves, Weres co-operate across territories. It turns out that the scent was picked up easily, because it was FRESH. Maybe if I had hung around Bills house more, or had been paying more attention, I would have known... but anyway... the scent was all over your lawn. It was no more than a couple days old. And then they followed it, and managed to keep to the trail, for around 200 miles north of Bon Temps, where they claim they sighted him."

I could barely breathe I was so excited.

"Oh my God, he's alive! I'm so.... happy!"

"Not so fast. Remember I mentioned the bad news, Sookie...."

"Yeah, I know, just give me a minute for it to soak in!"

"Are you feeling better today?"

"Yeah, I am actually. I hung out with Jason, and I'm feelin' pretty normal now... well, as normal as I ever felt. Okay, okay... I''m sitting down now. Give me the bad part."

"Bill wasn't alone. He was with a female Vamp."

Sam paused. Evidently wanting it to soak in slowly.

"Yeah, I'm not surprised. Did they tell you what she looked like? Does she have dark hair and an annoying upturned nose?"

"Yeah. That could be her... it's someone you know?"

"Someone I did not care to know, but yes. Bill's bitch maker Lorena! I thought it could have been her." My voice filled with anger.

"Sookie... I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but... he wasn't kidnapped. Apparently he is staying in a little shack with her, and they were seen... consorting together."

"Consorting together? Is that some nice way of saying fucking each others brains out? That can't be, Bill HATES Lorena! I know it! He told me so, and told everybody so, in a room full of other Vampires! He can't stand her, there's no way he would.... have sex with her...willingly!"

"I'm sorry Sookie, I don't know what to say. I know you want to believe Bill is a good guy, but he's a Vampire. And they have strange relationships with their so called 'makers'... it's not out of the question-"

"Yes, it is out of the question Sam. I know Bill. He fought Lorena to get to me before, he-"

Oh. Then suddenly I went quiet, as I felt a deep sick feeling rising to the surface. He had been to my house...recently. Probably the night that I was...raped. He would have felt it. He would have done anything to get back to me.. He would have run those two hundred miles... only to get here when...

When I was doing Eric in the bathtub, and then letting him cuddle me afterwards. Oh god... he might have heard, or seen...it all.

"Sookie, you okay there?"

"Yeah, Sam... I just need to think about all this okay? Thanks for telling me. I appreciate that."

And then I hung up the phone.

I couldn't breathe. My heart felt like it would simultaneously explode and melt away.

What have I done?

I could have pushed him away... so that maybe, he willingly... chose to go back to Lorena! No, he wouldn't do that. He would have at least said something to me! He should have at least known how much I was hurting these past few weeks, through the bond. He should have known how much I desperately missed him! Even though I was... writhing over Eric's naked body at the time.

No only was he living with her in some shack... he was... shaking up with her. And despite what I did to Eric last night, I didn't really believe it was possible for a girl to really RAPE a guy that way... I mean, he has to be into it a little, to "actively participate". If Bill hated her so much, if he was really kidnapped, why would he... Ew!

I hated the thought of Bill and Lorena together. With Eric it had been different. Hadn't it? He basically offered himself as a sex toy, and I used him to make myself feel better, if only for a very brief time. If Eric had kidnapped me, or if ANYONE had kidnapped me, that I hated, there's no way I would be thinking it's a good idea to screw them.

Could Bill really be that immoral? Or... was it because I really hurt him, and he wanted to distract himself?

Thinking about it wasn't going to help, I knew. I would have to wait until I saw him again. IF...if I saw him again. It was a devastating thought, but maybe... he decided he didn't want me anymore, since I was being such a slut.

I decided to do the thing again that seemed to have got me in all this trouble. I decided to phone Eric.

**

That evening around 8pm I got Eric on the line after shouting at the dumb waitress who claimed her master was busy receiving Tribute.

"Sookie. You are upset."

"Yes, I sure am Eric. Have you been keeping information from me? About Bill?"

"That is one reason I came to your house last night, but you were clearly not in such a receptive mood."

"No shit! Listen- just tell me what's going on!"

"Shushhh. Sookie. Yes I will tell you what I know. But I will tell you in person. You will come to Fangtasia tonight. I also have a little... gift... for you. Although you barely deserve it, after the cruelty I endured from you last evening."

"Eric, I don't know what happened. I snapped, and...I'm sorry...really, I shouldn't have done that. I should have-"

"Relax darling. I was joking. I actually found your stunt amusing....and....quite STIMULATING. I quite enjoy this new side of you." he said with a little laugh.

"Fine, I'll come by. I'll be there in an hour and a half. And- stop laughing, it's not funny! I'm still mad at you for what you did!"

Click.

He hung up on me!

**

I wore to Fangtasia a pair of old Jeans that used to be my Mom's, so they were a size too big and had a really unflattering waist, and an old baggy t-shirt that was pink and had a cartoon kitten on it with a big bow on it's head, splattered with paint because I only kept it for that purpose. I didn't brush my hair either, or put on any makeup. All this, along with my cast, and the fact I had puffy eyes due to crying for about an hour- made me the least attractive thing in there, I hoped.

All the Fangbangers snickered and pointed as I walked right up to the front of the line and demanded that Pam let me in. When she saw me, she laughed too.

"Oh, sweetie, I hope you don't actually think that hideous backwoods housewife getup will prevent Eric's attentions?"

"No, but at least he'll get the hint, I hope." I smiled sweetly.

"Well, he needs a good laugh. He's not himself lately. Go on ahead."

"What do you mean, he's not himself? He sure seems that way to me." I narrowed my eyes.

"Well of course. You haven't known him for 200 years. Move along, he's already waiting in his office."

When I opened the door he said nothing, merely motioned with his hand to sit beside him on the couch.

"Why, you are just so adorable I could eat you Sookie."

I stayed silent and simply glared at him, as he placed his hand on my knee.

"Now, you will go first. What have you heard?"

"You know damn well! Lorena has Bill, and he came to my house the night we...we...did it...and then he disappeared and had sex with Lorena and now he probably hates my guts!!"

"He does not 'hate your guts'."

"How do you know?!"

He squeezed my knee.

"Because I spoke with him, briefly. I didn't want to share this with you until you had proper time to heal emotionally. I didn't feel you should be dealing with this and-"

I smacked the hand that was placed on my knee.

"To hell with you, always thinking you know what I should be dealing with!"

"Sookie. He chose to go back to Lorena. After she initially abducted him. I met him outside the evening I spent time at your house. He wished for me to tell you that at the moment, he is not able to be with you. He said that he hopes that one day you will forgive him, and that he still deeply cares for you, but at this time, being together is just not possible. He will not be returning to Bon Temps anytime soon. He knows you found comfort with me, and do not worry, that has nothing to do with his decision. He thanked me for coming to your rescue. He knows...I am not your type..that it was a superficial coupling, as I said. Your actions that night did not impact his decision, as you fear."

"NO, no! Something is wrong... you know how much he hates Lorena!"

"Yes, I do. But Sookie- You must understand, that a maker has lifetime control. Even the downright looney ones like Lorena retain authority. If she wants to keep him locked up in some deranged fantasy of hers, that is her right, until the idea bores her. And believe me, she will bore of it. Unfortunately- it may not be within your lifetime."

I threw my hands up in exacerbation.

"Yes, I know that part... but she must be blackmailing him or something! Threatening me, something! Otherwise he would do ANYTHING to get away from her, including killing her probably! He managed to live without her for 70 years, why would she change her mind now! This is YOUR fault! You invited her to Dallas!"

"Perhaps it is. But I doubt it. She never quite 'got over' Compton. It was about time."

I remained silent. I just closed my eyes, shook my head, and desperately tried to stop the tears from coming.

Eric moved his arms around me and brought me to his lap, stroking my hair.

"Why are you being nice to me? After I acted like a savage and...stabbed you with SILVER?"

"Because I can. Because you need it. Because physical pain has little meaning to me. Because it makes both of us feel better."

I allowed him to continue this for a few minutes, as I rested my head on his shoulder, my eyes clenched as I sobbed.

Then he took my face in his hands gently, and smiled devilishly.

"Now for your gift Sookie. Come."

I didn't really give a crap about whatever so called "gift" Eric had for me. What would it be this time, a box of tampons with secret cameras?

He took my hand and lead me down into what I realized was a dungeon.

I gasped.

He pulled a singular lightbulb that swayed back and forth, casting deep shadows that danced on the walls that were splattered with bloodstains and handprints.

Chained in the dungeon was a gaunt man, obviously injured, with eyes sunken into his green tinged skin, that became wide with horror as soon as he saw me. He began to tremble and whimper.

It was the man who raped me.

"Do you like your gift Sookie? I kept him for you."

"Eric...why....would you do such a....horrible thing?"

"Because, darling.... I want YOU to kill him," Eric said with a sardonic grin.


	7. Chapter 7

*******************

NOTE: I'm just going to clarify, (especially for those who haven't read the books), that this is written from Sookie's perspective, LIKE A DIARY, so because of this often the only way I can get important things across is with singular lines of dialogue that insinuate things. Sometimes things are confusing, because they have to be... Sookie is confused!

And, she isn't going to write in detail about how much she is suffering, because she is always trying to act "strong" when she is victimized. If this was a regular 3rd person narrative things would be written much differently. For example, she mentions only in passing that she spent a long time crying after hearing about Bill. She focuses on some aspects of her life and leaves a lot out. But you have to be patient and guess at what is really happening- because that is part of the fun of the books- at least I think so! Looking back I decided maybe there were not enough "hints" as to what is going on, so for people still reading at this point I'll just clarify the general idea of MY INTERPRETATION:

Eric is an emotional mess after losing Godric. He feels his loss deeply, and has become "depressed" in a way, and lost in his suffering. Not only is he facing the reality that he is truly "alone" without his maker, he is questioning his existence and identity because the man that taught him everything he values decided to kill himself after proclaiming that Vampires are "wrong" and should not exist. From the "roof scene" we know that he was very emotionally attached to Godric- so of course his death will have a lot of impact. He finds being bonded to Sookie, and the strong emotions that he is forced to feel, almost unbearable, when he is having trouble dealing with his own pain and crisis. (Also LaFayette, but that isn't part of the plot...yet). He is not used to being so "vulnerable". He still throws out cheeky flirty remarks now and then, but I am trying to show that he is becoming obsessed with Sookie and her life, and that he has changed from the more carefree lovable manipulative bastard the show portrays him as into someone more terrifying and unpredictable. Where before he hissed and bared his fangs when Sookie slapped him- he barely cares that she stabs him in the chest with silver!

AT THIS POINT he doesn't actually "care" for Sookie, because he barely knows what that means in human terms. He is helping her because he believes that by doing so, it is in HIS best interest. By reducing her pain, he reduces his own- because in this version he can't "turn off" or "ignore" the emotions he feels from her.

Besides- the bitchy Queen Sophie-Ann threatened to rip out his fangs unless he co-operates, and removes Bill from the situation... he knows that if anything happened to Sookie, that he would be in "political shit" even if it wasn't his fault, because she is obviously flakey and full of herself and would probably torture him just to establish that she is in control. He probably isn't in the mood to deal with her and her petty nonsense!

Eric is obviously a very STRONG character, both physically and emotionally- but Godric's death took him by complete surprise, and he never even imagined having to deal with such a thing in his 1000 years of existence. Because he is so arrogant- and because he thought he knew Godric so well- he can barely believe what has happened, and he feels extra miserable that he has "lost control" of his emotional core.

He is not thinking of taking Sookie as a companion away from Bill (at this point- I won't say if he will or not later though!) because he is so miserable he does not have room to really "fall for her". Because of this, a lot of his "nasty" sides are coming out, which obviously pushes Sookie away from really "desiring" him as she desired Bill- because she is a romantic and only fell for Bill because he didn't act like a Vampire.

But I am trying to show that she is gradually understanding that Eric is a complex guy and that HE IS an emotional being who is suffering greatly. He even freely admits it to her! He will not allow other Vampires to see him as weakened by Godric's death, but because Sookie is a lowly female human, he does not mind "opening up" and sharing his pain with HER- and this creates a unique relationship between them. He sees talking to Sookie, pretty much the same way a person would tell their dog about all the bad stuff they have been experiencing!

And of course Sookie is EXTREMELY ATTRACTED to Eric, more so than she was with Bill...partly because of the blood and partly because she is a straight female- but she is against purely "sexual" relationships. That doesn't mean there isn't lots of smut to come though! :)

The title is a hint of the basic plot. I already wrote the story in my head- there isn't any bizarre plot twists that go against what happened previously. We already know that Eric lies. He merely implied he killed the rapist that he has in his dungeon- but really, he has been torturing him for days as an entertaining distraction, and also- he has an agenda. Eric decided that the best way to be rid of Sookie's emotional inconveniences is to TRAIN HER TO BE STRONG. As he would train a vampire- since that is what he knows. Sookie will resist and instead attempt to ease his pain, because she is a very loving person and realizes that even though Eric is a vicious sexy asshole- he did save her life, more than once. At first she does this out of obligation- as Eric does it out of obligation, for what she did for Godric. Will things change beyond that? Not telling yet! Anyway, there's lots of nastiness and darkness- they won't run into each others arms singing love songs (yet?).

Thanks for reading and I appreciate the reviews/feedback here and there. It's good to know when things don't seem to make sense! As I mentioned I haven't written a fanfic before and the way I chose to write this through Sookie's "journal" alone- is sometimes more difficult with the plot I had in mind than I estimated. I hope with that explanation of my interpretation, that things make more sense now! I'm having fun with this story. :)

* * *

Chained in the dungeon was a gaunt man, obviously injured, with eyes sunken into his green tinged skin, that became wide with horror as soon as he saw me. He began to tremble and whimper.

It was the man who raped me.

"Do you like your gift Sookie? I kept him for you."

"Eric...why....would you do such a....horrible thing?"

"Because, darling.... I want YOU to kill him," Eric said with a sardonic grin.

I was stunned. I had tried to put what had happened behind me, as best I could. And now I was literally looking it in the face.

The man was in bad shape. His was completely naked, and covered in bite marks and various wounds. Eric had been telling the truth about one thing- he was missing his genitals, and was stitched up with a plastic tube connected to where they should have been. There was Eric's doctor skills coming in handy again.

The smell was horrible. I could smell his rotting flesh, and his waste, and the sweat that dripped down his body as he trembled.

A strong wave of nausea rose to the surface and I had barely enough time to turn to the corner as I vomited my guts out.

Eric sauntered over to hold my hair back as I retched out everything I had left in my stomach. My muscles tensed and I rediscovered my injuries throughout my body.

When I had composed myself, and had wiped my face clean, I simply stared directly at Eric, unable to respond. He simply looked back at me. I couldn't tell from his expression what he expected me to do, but I thought that he looked pleased with himself.

With his vampire speed he was suddenly at the side of the rapist. He grabbed him by the hair, and with a ferocious growl, he said, "Now, what did we practice? What are we to say to Sookie here? This innocent girl that you so enjoyed torturing with your pathetic cock that I so enjoyed devouring?"

The man started hyperventilating, and it was difficult to understand him when he spoke, but I got the message:

"Sookie, I am a disgusting beast of a creature, and I do not deserve to live for...for...for... "

"SPIT IT OUT!" Eric yelled.

"For raping and hurting you! My life is... wo-worthless... and..." he gulped deeply "I wish for you to end my life for me, be-because... I know now that I do not deserve to exist. You are beautiful, and special, and pure...and... I should not have...forced myself inside you... I deserve everything this Vampire has done to me... and... I...I...I wish for you to end my pathetic unworthy life. Take the razor...and... OH GOD OH GOD...."

Eric then kicked the man in the abdomen.

"Take the razor and then...slit my throat!...even though...to die by your hand...is an honour I do not deserve...." he said, the last of the sentence obscured by his sobbing.

"Good boy." Eric said simply.

"Eric, NO! I'm not just going to...kill this man, because you want me to! We have LAWS and TRIALS for this sort of thing! This is NOT Vampire business! You have no right to keep him here! I'm phoning the police, right now."

I reached for my cell phone.

Eric snatched it from my hand immediately, and my heart sank as he crushed it and let the pieces fall to the dungeon floor.

"This is Vampire Business, because what affects YOU affects ME now, Sookie. Your laws are slow, and inadequate. Do you really think it would be fair, for me to just let him go? So that he can go to trial, and be sentenced a few years in a comfortable jail cell where he is well fed and well looked after? Where he can sit on his ass, with free television and computers and DVD's, to live a life that is probably more comfortable than yours is? Where he will be fully released in a few years, so that you will always fear what is behind you in the dark- that he may come back and finish what he started? Were you not much happier believing he was dead? I know how relieved you felt when you believed that. What is the difference, if he dies now by your hand?"

"It makes a lot of difference! Because I would be the one to do it! Unlike you, I AM NOT a sadistic vengeful jerk. I believe in my human laws Eric, I respect them...Even though rapists aren't locked away forever! It is still what society has decided is a just punishment!"

"Yes, I figured as much- foolish girl. As you see, I have been having fun keeping him as a guest. I am not so lenient as a Vampire Sheriff. I have ordered Pam to give him just enough blood to keep his body functioning. He can survive like this for some time... and I intend to keep using him as my little toy and appetizer until he completely bores me. And I assure you-"

Eric bent down so that his eyes were close to mine as he stared at me intently.

"I will not bore of torturing THIS pathetic waste of flesh, anytime soon."

I looked away, and just shook my head.

"No, NO! I AM going to tell the cops, and you are going to get in shit and have Fangtasia shut down because of this!"

"No. You. Will. NOT!"

Eric grabbed my hair and jerked my face up towards his again.

"You know it would not make any difference. I keep him here only for convenience. But I could relocate him somewhere where he would never be found, and you know this. Not to mention my glamouring ability. Here is the deal Sookie: Either you kill him NOW, this evening... Or I continue to torture him as long as I desire, and I promise you there is absolutely no way he will get out of this alive. I do not understand why this bothers you so much. You were not alarmed when you claimed I had killed him in the woods. And here I go to the trouble- to kick him into submission- until he admits how much of a scumbag he is- to apologize FOR YOU- an experience most victims do not have the gift of experiencing. Admit it, a part of you DOES find it satisfying. I can tell. A part of you is pleased with what I have done- how I have reduced him to his true pathetic state of being. And go right on ahead, and read his mind. In fact, I encourage it. He believes every word."

I already was forced to look into that man's mind, because his thoughts were so POTENT. I don't think I ever met someone who had been through so much pain. I did believe he meant what he said- the rapist regretted and hated himself for what he did- and for what happened to himself in the process. He truly did want to get it over with and just die so he could escape the pain.

"I know you have it in you- you do have a dark rage in you. You showed it to me last night. Let go and do to this man, what you did to me. If it helps- consider it... "putting him out of his misery"- like how you would shoot a rabid dog, then. I don't care how you rationalize it to yourself, you WILL do it, because you know what he faces from ME will be much, much worse."

Eric took a razor blade from his pocket, and handed it to me. I took it reluctantly. Did I have a choice?

"I would thoroughly enjoy watching you slash him to pieces sweetheart, but- I imagine you will only allow yourself a quick killing. I suggest slashing this artery right here...."

He pinched the mans neck.

"He will barely feel it, and he will pass out quickly-"

Before Eric finished, I ran at him with the razor and slashed HIS arm, allowing my anger to build up completely. He withdrew his hand.

"Ah, see, you are eager..."

"I will NEVER forgive you for this! You are a true MONSTER Eric!" I wailed.

He was laughing as I lunged at the rapist- and in one quick clean strike I slashed the side of his neck open.

"Now, remember to thank Sookie as you die....Well done, by the way! ...for your FIRST TIME." Eric said as he bent down to inspect the wound, grinning.

"Thank....you.....Sookie...." the rapist gurgled, as blood bubbled from his mouth.

I could feel his thoughts slipping as he rapidly lost consciousness. I wanted to run, I wanted to slash Eric again and make him hurt, I wanted to collapse to the floor and cry like a baby- but I didn't do any of those things.

I became overwhelmed with my intense anger and hate, and I used that razor on the helpless man beneath me again, and again. I couldn't even speak I was so enraged. I just lost it and "let loose". I'm pretty sure he was already dead when most of it happened. I don't even remember the details. I don't want to.

When I finally snapped out of it, the razor dropped from my hand, and the sound of metal clanging on the cement floor was the only sound in the room, aside from the steady dripping of blood and the slow thumping beats coming from Fangtasia above. I couldn't breathe at all. Or move.

I felt Eric move his arms around me.

"Good. You have done well. You can relax now. You can put this man out of your mind, and the thought of him will never- NEVER come back to haunt you. You are free, Sookie."

"No, Eric..." I said, my voice wavering.

"I am not FREE... I will always, ALWAYS carry the burden of what I have done with me. That was a horrible act... and I will NEVER forgive you, or forgive myself for what just happened. Neither will God."

"Sookie, Oh! But you will!" he said with excitement.

"That is a lesson for later. I will show you how. You WILL understand...in time."

"You'll show me how to become a Monster too?! Why would I want that? I don't want anything else to do with you! I never want to see you again!"

I turned to leave, and he grabbed my arm, the one that was in the cast- and the shooting pains temporarily paralysed me.

"When did you ever get the idea that you had a choice, my dear?"


	8. Chapter 8

I said nothing.

I just looked straight ahead and concentrated on slowing my breathing. I didn't like that my breath echoed like the sound of a trapped animal in here. _It was probably turning him on._

I had let it go too far. I immediately regretted my actions. I should have just compassionately slit that mans throat, and then demanded to leave. But Eric was right... a little part of me was pleased that I was now in the position causing that...disgusting...man- PAIN. But I think most of my rage was due to the fact that Bill had abandoned me. I didn't think it was due to choice... no doubt Lorena would make things difficult for him. But why wouldn't he fight her.... why wouldn't he just... no. I was being unreasonable. I could not expect him to KILL her....for ME.

Eric frowned a bit, and when I still didn't register his presence he lowered his face down to mine and nuzzled against my cheek, bringing his hand up to pet my hair. I could feel a tiny tickle of air beneath my ear as I guessed that he was taking in my scent. His fangs were still extended.

That's what Eric reminded me of. A lion.

Not the majestic, King of The Pride type of Lions that you see on the Discovery Channel.

Eric was one of the supposed "Tame" lions that were used in the circus. The ones that would seem to be giant pussycats, the way the handler plays with them. But you still know the whole time that inside they are vicious beasts of the jungle, and could rip the handler to shreds before anyone could help him. That is why people pay money to see lions at the circus. The handler risks his life every night when he walks onstage with his lion. It's dangerous and exciting. And secretly, inside, everyone thinks- _Gee, maybe this time the lion won't be so tame...won't that be a show! _

Well, at least that is how I imagine it to be. I haven't been to a real circus- when I was little crowds were too painful with my disability, and Jason could barely sit still for 2 hours, so my parents figured the trip wasn't worth it. But I did see a video once- one of those "When animals attack" things- where I saw a videotape of a circus handler who was attacked by a lion. One second he was carrying on with his circus routine, getting the lion to put it's paw on a hoop, and when he motioned for the second paw to be moved, having done nothing different, the lion suddenly LUNGED at him and sank it's teeth into his neck.

_That's how I feel about Eric. That despite his outward appearance- of businessman, sherif, womanizer, and arrogant know-it-all control freak, there was a deep part of him that could never be tamed. It could come out at any time, and lunge for my neck, for no reason that I could comprehend. I was NEVER completely safe around him._

After a few minutes he said softly into my ear: "Come."

"Come upstairs with me, and let's change you before I take you home. Or if you prefer, we can stay down here, where the atmosphere is more.. romantic.. and I will... lick you clean?"

I really wasn't in a joking mood. But when he said that, the image that popped into my mind was of a housecat with Eric's face that was licking it's paw. I giggled.

"Oh, So you aren't traumatized into a catatonic oblivion? That's too bad. You would have made such a delicious living doll. I would have let Pam play dress up with you. I'd pose you by the entrance and you could model the latest Fangtasia brand souvenirs for the tourists. But you'd be more to me than just a mannequin, darling- I'd also make you an appetizer on the drink menu- maybe even bottle and brand you..what do you think? We could call it, "Sookie's surprise"? "A sip of Sookie"?

"Okay okay, quit it Eric...that's really eeeeww...." I said, desperately trying not to giggle again.

"Well, if you've decided to return to the land of the living, then get a move on."

I continued to glare at him as he led me back upstairs and into his office. As if I was suddenly going to be all friendly with him, after what he did, just because he made a couple jokes? But killing people was so routine to him- (he must have killed thousands...tens of thousands...??)he probably feels no more affected by it as he does scraping a bug off of his shoe.

He tossed a size L red Fangtasia shirt at me. It was the same one I wore on two other occasions.

"You look absolutely tasty in that, but I have to suggest that it may be more CONVENIENT for you to bring a change of clothes over. It seems you end up bloody and naked here quite frequently. I will return to the bar until you have cooled down." he said before vanishing.

Argh. I would never "cool down" in his office, being reminded of Eric everywhere, hearing the fangbarers and their thoughts about wanting to be little whores for him. If they only knew what was in the basement. _Would they fuck him THEN, with that wild look in his eyes, so proud of the kill, dripping with human blood?_

I attempted to pull the door open, strut out of the club like nothing out of the ordinary happened, walk quickly to my car, drive home, dive under the covers, and swear to never visit Eric again- But, I realized that he had LOCKED ME IN HIS OFFICE.

I sat down on the couch, rubbed my temples and closed my eyes. I relaxed my shields, and laughed at the idiotic fangbangers that surrounded Eric right now.

All their fantasies took place in beds, in the woods, in the bathroom of Fangtasia, or in the middle of the bar itself- but none of their sexy fantasy Eric's were snarling in a dungeon. He was romantic and sensual in these fantasies sometimes, farce and dominating in other ones, but never the unpredictable wild bloodthirsty creature that I had caught sharp pieces of. Some actually thought things like...

"_Oh, he looked at me tonight. That is the second time this week. He's definitely into me. Once he finds out how good I am... he'll never want to stop. He'll take me in those arms and kiss me like a man should, and I'll take good care of him and give him everything he deserves... we'll spend eternity in bliss...all we will need is to gaze into each other's eyes... Why is he looking at her? I'm obviously more attractive. I can't believe he took her home last time. Darnit, I knew I should have warn that other shirt..."_

Even in my dreams.... the ones I am forced to have. He is like the boyfriend I wished I could have had if I had been born, well... "normal".

_He holds my hand so sweetly, covers me in little kisses, listens to everything I have to say like he actually cares, and lovingly teases me with his tongue and his dirty jokes._.. So, other than the sense of humour, a completely fictional, and IMPOSSIBLE, version of Eric.

I looked around at Eric's office. On the bookshelf was an _Accounting_ textbook from the 70's, an old warn copy of _The Peloponnesian War_, _Advanced Metallurgy_, _A Mapbook of Eastern Africa_ from 1902, a _Population Genetics_ textbook and a collection of _Farside_ comics- to name a handful. It seemed that he read a bit of literally EVERYTHING.

I looked around. His work space was the exact opposite of the lavish gaudy spree that was Fangtasia. His desk and chair were modest and practical, and looked like they were a couple decades old. Unless you spied what books he actually had...the office seemed eerily....normal. There was no fountain of blood, manuals on torture (that I had seen...well, i'm sure he would be the one writing the manual, why would he even need one?), alters to long dead Gods, or a rack of swords. Nothing in there that would lead you to believe a 1,000 viking Vampire used it frequently. He has the money for a dream office, complete with a lesbian mud wresting pit- so why does he keep it like this?

Just who is Eric Northman anyway?

I should rephrase that. Just WHO.... is the REAL Eric Northman?

I laid my head on the couch and closed my eyes. I put all my shields up. I was exhausted, and my arm hurt. I was worried that when Eric grabbed me that he had worsened the break.

I didn't remember falling asleep.

I certainly didn't want to. But somehow, after waiting for Eric to come back for over an hour, I did fall asleep, and didn't realize it until it was too late.

I was dreaming. Like the other dreams, I never realized that I was dreaming.

_We were in my bed, and downstairs Gran was making my favourite pie. _

"_Eric, can't you smell that? Don't you feel a little bad that you can't eat any?" I teased as I dramatically sniffed the air and sighed._

"_No, I have no desire for your human food. Some smells ARE pleasant, more than others... but it does not make me want to eat it. It is like how you can enjoy the scent of a flower- you put them in a vase- but you don't get a craving to suddenly chew on the petals, do you silly human?" he chuckled._

"_I don't understand that. If you could really taste Gran's pie, I swear you would never want a drop of blood again. You could totally live forever on my Gran's pie!" I giggled and rolled onto his chest. _

"_Mmmmm... who knows, maybe science could make it possible. So then we'd have to turn her too! We'd all sit around in bed, and eat pie.....forever. Is that what you want, my love?" he whispered, and then began nibbling my ear._

"_Mmmmaybe? And I bet you think I'm such a country hick for thinking so, don't you?"_

"_But you ARE biased. I would much rather eat YOU. So in order to be fair, we will have to turn you, and then you can decide which is better."_

"_But if we're talking science fiction here, then I'd have science make you...HUMAN again. Then you'd try the pie, and if you didn't like it, you could switch back." I trailed my finger along his jawline. _

"_I have considered the possibility before- that it will be possible one day. And I always decided that I would politely decline. But that was before I met you, sweetheart... now I have ...other ...considerations...." He said the last bit with his mouth against my lips._

_His hands were placed on either side of my face and he bent my head forward as he reached out with his tongue to gracefully meet mine._

_These kisses were deep and sensual, and his fingers pet and massaged my body as I writhed on top of him. His hands grabbed my ass and kneaded my cheeks as he simultaneously thrust his hips upward to press the head of his cock that was bulging out of his boxers against my clit. I groaned hoarsely and began to rub myself over him. My underwear was soaking wet, and I obliged when he began to pull them off. _

_He pulled away from his tender kisses and looked at me still grinding on his cock._

"_Do you want me inside you lover? TELL ME how you want it..."_

"_Oh yes Eric.... want you inside....soooo badly....I want it slow and DEEP...aaaghh...NOW!"_

I awoke to feel a cool hand brushing against my knee and moving up my thigh. Or it could have been another dream, it felt like it at the time.

I was in a hazy daze, not sure where I was... but before I could register what was happening, I felt a shifting weight beside me and suddenly I was underneath Eric, and before I could think his tongue was in my mouth, and his fingers were underneath my bra, sqeezing my hard nipples. I was dripping wet from my dream, and I felt swollen and so NEEDY to be touched, to fill the dark pulsing aching. I seemed to be sighing and moaning as my body responded with intensity for his every move.

I probably looked like Mina from the Dracula movie after she is under Draculas power- tossing about her bed in a kind of delirium, moaning for her lover, shivering with equal amounts of fear and delight- willing to do ANYTHING with him... Gross! How embarrassing. Hmmm... I think she even sucked on his chest, like I did with Eric. Ugh, double Gross!

"Uughh.. You want me DEEP, do you? You crave ALL of me, inside you..."

Yep. He had heard my moaning out for his cock in my sleep, and he wasn't being a gentleman about it.

He moved quickly. Probably because he realized I was gathering my senses and would not want him fucking me once I fully "came to" to what was happening. Asshole.

I felt the rush of air on my slick pussy as he slipped my panties off. I immediately felt the tip of his cock pressed against my entrance.

I had enough sense to attempt to protest... "Eric...don't-"

BUT before I could finish the sentence I felt the head of his cock pushed a few inches inside me. It was painful in a raw sort of way, but my whole body shivered with pleasure and I felt my hips instinctively thrust upward towards him, urging him deeper.

"Don't protest yet, Sookie... You have never had ME. You were merely using me as a sex toy. How do you know you won't like it? ME in control? That you will not be pleasured as I slam my cock deep inside you? I can make you come three ways at once... I'm sure I know plenty of tricks that Bill hasn't even imagined. I will give you a pleasure you didn't even know was possible. It's the Eric Northman guarantee."

"That's not the point-" I struggled to say as he assaulted me with kisses, and then pushed himself all the way inside me so that I arched my back and yelped.

"It IS the point."

He placed his mouth on mine, forcing his kisses on me, while holding my hands pinned above my head. I knew there was no point in moving, or trying to fight him off. He was having his way with me, no matter how I protested. And it was HARD to protest... especially since I already knew he made me feel so good I thought I might die- and he hadn't even used his cock yet.

But I'm not a floozy. I don't believe in casual sex. Sex is a sacred thing used to bring two people together who are in love. It should not be tossed around and shared like a potluck casserole. And I certainly don't want to be a "Fangbanger" hanging around at Fangtasia hoping with my whole heart that Eric will feel like choosing me for an easy fuck and snack that night. I'd rather be dead.

My whole body wanted this, shouted at me to just give in and experience the pleasure that I have been dreaming about for weeks. But I do not listen to my body. I let my body take control before, and I certainly made a mess of the situation.

"No, NO! Eric!" I buried my lust to the bottom of my mind. I turned up my anger, so that Eric would feel it pulsing into him from the bond.

"GET. OFF. OF. ME. NOW!!!!" I raged at him. And then I began to cry.

I cried because I killed a man that night. I cried because Bill might not be coming back for real. I sobbed because I was brutally torn away from my dream- in which Gran was still alive and I was happy and in love with a fantasy Eric.

He pulled out immediately, and let go of my hands.

I was sobbing, and covered my face and huddled on the other side of the couch.

"Stop sniffling. We are done, I will not finish- Even though I could have, and desperately wanted to- cum inside you. I do this as a great kindness to you."

"Oh, Really? You call NOT raping someone, a great kindness?"

"I was NOT raping you!" He growled with fury.

"How dare you compare me to that disgusting human! You know I NEVER enjoy the activity of rape. I would NEVER rape you. In case you have forgotten, most rapists do not intend to bring their victims to a blissful climax before they allow themselves to finish."

"That's just it Eric. I DO NOT KNOW YOU. You are a liar, a murderer, and you manipulate people for sport. I can't believe a single thing that comes out of your mouth. I don't even believe you that Bill has decided to stay with Lorena. Of course you would want me to think that- so I give up on him and run straight into your bed when I'm vulnerable and heartbroken?"

"Sookie, it is the truth. If you will not trust me, ask your shifter friend to confirm what he has told you. I am aware he is involved. He should not be though, as it is not his business. I only tolerate this because you care for him."

"Eric, he's doing it because he is my friend, because he cares for me, not because it is his "business" to be involved. Of course you don't understand the concept of caring so there's no point in even explaining that to you. I used to think, after we spent that night in my bed, that you cared...at least, sometimes... for...some chosen people! but... now I think you just had some fangbanger type devotion to Godric and now that he's gone you probably think you have no reason to ever care about anything again, right? You've probably carved that useless piece right out of you. But if you have any respect left for Godric-and the person he was when he died, just think of him looking down on you from heaven, where I think he may be...and, just THINK... What would Godric think about what you are doing? Do you think he would be happy with you?" I paused to catch my breath.

"LOOK, we're not fucking, so let me out of your office now, and go take out your sexual frustrations on one of your devoted sluts. I suggest the brunette in the silver halter top- she'll do anything you ask, and has some particularly kinky ideas in mind."

Eric said nothing. He merely stared vacantly at the wall, as if he had not heard me the entire time, and opened the door.

I felt a rush of spiny jealousy laden hateful thoughts as everyone in the bar watched me storm out of Fangtasia with a scowl on my face.

I didn't need to turn around to understand why.

I saw in their minds that Eric had walked a few paces behind me to stand in the middle of the bar, and simply STARED at me, unblinking and completely still- even as I got in my car, drove out of the parking lot, and turned down the street.

One single red tear had fallen down his cheek.


	9. Chapter 9

As I drove home my mind swam with images and thoughts. After all I had experienced in the last year- what just happened still shocked me like a curling iron in the bathtub.

Of course I had to end the rapists misery. There was no question of that. I knew that Eric would never agree to let him go. There was no reason to doubt what he had said- that he would have tortured him, and bit him, as often as he liked, indefinitely. I don't care what he did to me, nobody deserves to be tortured for sport.

The man was already so riddled with intense pain, that he begged me to let him go. I was doing the right thing. I had intended it to be swift and painless for him, but...my emotions took over. I saw his face again, from "that night"- his ugly leering grin as he beat me... and I reacted, like I wanted to slash that memory out of existence, and slash away all my frustration and agony concerning every bad thing that had ever happened to me. _I behaved like a child. I behaved like a monster._

Just like Eric wanted me to.

He hadn't done this to torture ME, although it had certainly felt like it. He thought he was toughening me up. He probably had a long list of such "lessons" in line for making one as cold and empty as he is.

And then... the dream... and... he was.... INSIDE ME...and it disgusted me that i liked it.

That terrified me. The possibilities of what he had in mind for this little game he is prepared to play with me.

I realized that if I was going to get through this- then that meant that I too.... had to prepare. I had to be thinking two steps ahead. I had to figure him out. I had no other choice. I shudder to think what could happen to me if I let him have his way.

How do I possibly "figure out" what a 1,000 year old VAMPIRE is thinking though?!

I couldn't.

But...then...I realized maybe I should try things differently. Eric was human once- I have clearly observed him experiencing forms of emotions that could be considered "human".

He let himself cry- or was overwhelmed enough to cry.... in front of the whole crowd at Fangtasia. He had just stood there as if the whole roomful of people was emptly and silent, and I was the only person that he saw.

I did feel kind of bad for what I said to him, about Godric. I knew that I would be wielding a formidable weapon when I said Eric only cared about him in a fang-banging worship way- but I DID NOT anticipate such a.... strong reaction. I guess I expected him to laugh, or to tell me I'm a pathetic human who can't possibly understand the real nature of Vampire relationships. Certainly not to stand there, as if I had just stabbed him in the heart.

Not that I regretted it though. That bastard deserved a little bit of misery after what he made me do. One tear barely compares. And what I said stands to be true. If he had so much love and respect for Godric, why is he acting so "savage" and getting in my business in such a horrible way?

He said it had to do with the bond. That he didn't want my extra emotions getting in the way. That he could barely handle the loss of Godric- that I was just... too much.... he felt me...too strongly.

My mind jumped to the memory of the night I stood on the rooftop with Godric as he met the sun.

"_You'll care for him? Eric...."_

At the time, I had been pretty confused at that remark. Why would a very old Vampire, ask ME- to care for another very old Vampire? He said it in such a strange way... like... he was asking me to take care of a child... Who could possibly.. CARE ....for Eric??!

But Godric wasn't a dummy. And he probably knew Eric better than anybody. Maybe he knew. Maybe he had an idea that Eric would not handle his death very well. Maybe, he was warning me.

Or maybe...they had some casual conversation and Eric had mentioned how he's going to totally steal me from Bill and make me his own, and Godric assumed Eric would probably get his way. No. Godric wasn't like that. I think he would have warned me less cryptically.

Anyway- whatever he meant- I couldn't promise something like that. Not to anybody. Unlike a lot of people, promises mean a lot to me. Especially when I promise something to someone I admire. And I did admire Godric greatly, for saving me.... and because he went through such an incredible transformation into an almost....purely loving being.

But I could TRY.

I could at least try- to be patient with him, to try to understand him, and to try and help ease his pain. If I were to accomplish that- if he felt better, didn't have his 'leaky crumbling castle' in his mind- then maybe, he wouldn't be a threat to me. Maybe he would back off and leave me alone. It was worth a shot.

* * *

I pulled my car up in the driveway, and immediately noticed a hunched form on my porch. Not Eric! WHY CAN"T HE GIVE IT A BREAK! Jeeez! I just wanted to get to bed...

He was sitting with his hands folded in his lap, staring at the ground, on the porch swing. He had with him a large case that he had tucked under the swing.

Before I had my little game plan, I would have run right up to him, fuming and huffing, to cuss at him to my hearts desire and threaten to stab him, again. But... what did that SOLVE? Nothing.

I walked up to him, calmly. I tried to dull my emotions as much as possible, but it was difficult and I'm sure he noticed because I caught a flicker of a smile before I arrived.

"I hope you're not here because you wanna make out," was all I said.

"No. But I wouldn't mind, if that is what YOU have in mind."

"Not in your dreams." I said with a calm voice, but with a hint of annoyance.

"Vampire's do not dream. But...you do." he said, raising an eyebrow but seemingly serious.

He paused for a long minute, and I started becoming uncomfortable. He must have sensed that because he spoke suddenly.

"I do not wish for you to hate me."

I didn't know what to really say. I was so tired... so I rambled, like I do all the time when I haven't thought very much.

"Eric, I don't hate you. I don't think I CAN hate you, because you're just doing what Vampires are supposed to do. I can't exactly hate a Vampire for being a Vampire- that doesn't make sense, and doesn't seem fair. Like I can't exactly hate a lion- CAN I?! , because it ran after the baby gazelle and tore it to bits?... cause it doesn't know any better. It's just being what it is. It's supposed to do that. But that doesn't mean I want my very own lion in my backyard to do tricks for me. Right now- I don't hate you, Eric. But I can say that I really, really, REALLY dislike you. You do know better! Or at least, you can TRY to KNOW BETTER! I mean, you, the master of manipulation, can't be all that surprised that I got pissed off for all these things that you did to me! You've had 1,000 years to study humans!"

"You are not a...regular...human." He said slowly, and then was silent once more, before saying- "I can explain. First of all- you weren't supposed to find out about the surveillance."

I wanted to kick him, but with all my strength I held back.

"I don't see how that matters. You better explain yourself."

"I did. But... I will again. Just not tonight. I did not come here to discuss things. May I play for you?"

He motioned with his hand, as he unlocked the case that he had stowed beneath the swing. He brought out what looked like a violin, but... larger. A cello I assumed, although I hadn't really seen one before in person- Bon Temp wasn't exactly a Symphony Orchestra kind of place.

He had taken it out and was already striking the first note as I mumbled,

"Ummmm..."

My mouth probably dropped open as he began to play. I can't remember because I was so taken by the music. Nobody had ever really asked to play anything for me before. Well, besides chopsticks at church, but even I can play that one.

His eyes remained closed as he softly stroked the instrument. First with long wavering notes in a sublime melancholy tune that could have reviled classical CD's I'd heard, and then he increased the tempo until the notes were flying by so fast his fingers started to blur in a fire of emotion.

There was no doubt he was talented. He attacked notes so high and sent them wavering with such intensity I was almost worried a string would break and hit me in the face.

Bill had played Piano for me, once- when I asked- and showed me some Vampire tricks he had, and I had been impressed, but this was different. Excuse the expression, but it was almost like he was making love to that instrument. He played it perfectly, I thought. He must have spent a very, very, long time practising.

I did appreciate the gesture. I would have been easier for him to just run on home and thinking about how much of a bitch I am, but instead- he just wanted to play me a beautiful song.

This just might be the most messed up 'roller coaster of emotion' night I've ever experienced. I was so moved I almost felt like crying. I sat down beside him, and listened.

When the song was finished, he said nothing for a long moment while he held the instrument, so I spoke first.

"That was...really beautiful. What's it called?"

"It doesn't have a name. I don't usually name my songs. What do you think I should call it?"

I was stunned. I just assumed that Eric was playing some famous piece of music that I was just too ignorant to recognize. I never thought he actually wrote music like that.

"Really, you really wrote that? I love it... it's really... I don't know, I don't even know how to describe it, or even, what to call it. How do you name a song like that?"

"One reason why I don't bother," he laughed softly. "Hmm. Alright, then henceforth this one will be known as "A Song for Sookie" if anyone ever asks. I don't usually play for humans. It doesn't sound...proper... to your ears. To be heard properly, you require Vampire hearing and cognitive faculties. But I'm glad you enjoyed the....human version. I will show you some more."

"Eric, that's very nice, but...right now, my eyes are falling closed, i'm just so tired, I'm worn out and sore-"

"I hurt your broken arm. And when I entered you."

"Yes."

"I want to give you some of my blood, heal you.... so this can't happen again."

"You know I don't want your blood."

"I do. But I offer it anyway. In case... you appeal to reason." he looked at me now, concern in his brow,

" Go upstairs, and tuck yourself into bed. I will play softly for you as you fall asleep. "

"I'm still not inviting you into my-"

"I know. I will be outside your windowsill. If you change your mind... about anything... I will be here until you fall asleep."

I smiled.

A part of me thought I was letting Eric get away with being such an assshole, but- I was firmly reminding myself that I was trying my new strategy of being patient and kind with him- at least, as much as I could.

"Yeah, I guess that's okay. Um, do you want a True Blood? There's still some leftover from when..."

I was actually going to say "From when Bill used to come around" but that sounded horrible in the past tense. I hadn't given up on him yet! He would still be...coming around.... wouldn't he?

"No. No....thank you."

I shut the door, and walked upstairs to my bedroom with a sigh of relief. Bed! Sweet, simple, lovely BED. I didn't even really dread my dreams anymore... because I kind of liked waking up happy, enjoying the little taste of fantasy Eric.

After I had finished my bedtime routine and turned out the light, I started laughing hysterically as my head hit the pillow.

Eric was playing Britney Spears "Hit Me Baby One More Time" on the Cello.


	10. Chapter 10

When I woke up from what seemed to be a restful sleep- I spent a good hour laying in bed and cuddling with Lupe. She seemed to be doing well. I didn't know if it was because she was such a spunky puppy, or because of her special breed, but it was like she barely noticed her injuries. She still wanted to play fetch just as vigorously. She only limped a little bit when she went flying down the staircase in a whirlwind. I tried making her rest- of course I didn't want her injury to get worse- but she insisted on running EVERYWHERE. I was having to be extra stern with her and she didn't understand why, and would whine when I told her to stay downstairs.

Sam phoned me around 10am to tell me he was bringing me some lunch over, and asked what groceries or supplies I needed.

"Really Sam, it's okay. You know I don't like being treated like an invalid. You can give me a ride and help me pick up a few things after we though. I'm just a little sore, but I'm managing well on my own- it's just that the cast gets in the way sometimes? A hamburger and fries sounds nice! See ya soon then."

I soaked in my tub with a couple candles, a relaxation CD and my favourite incense, before getting dressed for lunch. Then I had an idea.

I rummaged through my closet to find my old stationary set. It was one of those "Precious moments" pads done in baby blue and pink. It had an image of a young girl with wings kissing a little boy. The captain said: **Love is not blind, it has the sharpest eyes and because it sees more, it is willing to see less.**

I wrote out two letters, and placed them in an envelope labelled, "To My Bill".

When I answered the knock at the door, I opened it to find Sam furiously waving around a letter.

"Have you seen this yet Sookie? A letter from ERIC taped to your door?!"

"What? No, I havent been outside yet! Give that to me!"

"I told you to watch that guy, Sookie! He isn't like Bill! You have to drop all contact with him, don't give him any ideas-" Sam was getting angry.

"Sam! First of all, don't go on telling me what to do. I'm not a moron! Now, just give me that so I can read it for myself," I spit and practically ripped the letter from his hand.

_Sookie,_

_I hope you enjoyed my rendition of "Eric Northman plays the worst hits of the last century." I like to see you smile and laugh. You do not seem to be aware how beautifully resilient you are in this way. Many in your situation would not have it in them to still laugh. You are stronger than you realize. However you are also like a child in so many other respects. And for this reason I cannot adequately explain my actions to you. _

_I will only say that what I do is for your own protection, and it is in your interest to trust my judgment. The world stretches far beyond your little place in Bon Temps. The Fellowship of the Sun know about you. Many other Vampires have also become aware of your existence. You are considered to be a highly prized "asset" for what you can do, and consequently forces beyond your awareness will seek to use you, or destroy you. _

_Think about it Sookie. I am telling you this because you need to realize there is a necessity for caution. Those who seek to have you for themselves know of you, but still do not know what you look like or where you live or work. But they will be coming for you. It is only a matter of time. I do not wish to alarm you. It may not be for a decade, so I don't want you to become anxious. There is nothing to worry about because I am keeping a close watch on you. I will not allow you to be taken or used. This is my duty as Sheriff. _

_But I want you to understand that if you notice anything unusual- if a stranger suddenly asks questions about Bill, or claims to know me- you MUST notify me immediately. This is VERY important. _

_I did enjoy my personal reality TV show about Sookie and her wacky friends. I was sorry to see it cancelled. I'll make a DVD of your best moments. _

_I know you took that hidden surveillance very personally but I assure you the intention was not to be a perverted voyeur. It may have saved your life, remember. I wanted you to continue to live your life as normally as possible, which is what I gathered you prefer. It was the best way for us both._

_Sincerely,_

_Eric._

_PS- Just like most human females, you are quite capricious when it comes to men. When you are ready for me, let me know- I'm ALWAYS ready, for you lover._

I crumpled the note, threw it against the wall, and sighed.

"Sookie, what is your relationship with Eric, a vampire Sherrif if you've somehow forgotten that?"

"Clearly I haven't forgotten that Sam, if you read that letter! I do not have ANY relationship to Eric. I wish he would just...disappear and leave me alone forever. Sam, I thought you knew me! Do you think I would be hanging out with him, if I didn't have a really good reason to?"

"Well, I don't know Sookie! I thought I knew you, but that letter seems like you guys have been doing some....hanging out."

Sam sounded very bitter. I realized he was probably jealous, because he thought after I gave up on Bill, I turned to Eric as my "second choice". Men, ha.

"Hanging out?! I think someone has got to be a messed up psychopath to actually want to hang out with Eric Northman! You don't have to warn me- believe me, I know how bad he is sometimes! I know how he tortures people underneath his bar... And you insult me, Sam- to suggest that I actually want something to do with him!"

I started tearing up when I said that, but stepped backwards when Sam offered a hug.

"Sookie, you've been through a lot. And I've been to that bar before, I've seen the long lineups of girls waiting to just stare at him. Apparently he's a desirable guy. I'm sorry for suggesting that. It's just that... well heck! You know, you've worked enough nights in the bar to know how people are! Sometimes when you are down, you start flirting with disaster. I thought that maybe you turned to him out of a desire for some distraction. I never meant to suggest that as an insult- I wouldn't blame you at all if you fell under Eric's spell. He's crafty, like all old vampires are. I didn't mean any disrespect to you at all....Sookie. I just want to make sure you are alright."

Then I reached out and grabbed Sam in a hug. Well, as much as a hug as I could manage with my cast.

"Thanks Sam... I know you are just being my friend. He is just so hard to deal with, and I absolutely hate all those stupid girls who line up for him...."

"I know, I know. You aren't like them Sookie." Sam smiled at me gently.

"But- it looks like you are in some serious business. There are many reasons why I don't like Eric, but for the time being... having his protection is a good thing. I have to admit, I can't always be there for you. If something happened in this house, nobody would hear-"

I gasped, clenched my eyes and nodded. I had an intense flashback of the night I found Gran. She had put up quite a fight, and must have screamed and screamed.... but there just wasn't anyone close enough to hear her fighting.

"Yeah, he did save my life, twice. But it doesn't matter. What you don't know is that I got him back for what he did to me. I don't care who he is, he can't just think he can do whatever he wants with my life without my permission."

"What do you mean, you got him back?" Sam suddenly sounded worried.

"Well, uh.... It was his idea, that I take out my anger on him by punching him. Which of course...didn't really do anything, he just stood there like a statue... so... I improvised... and...made use of my Grans silver serving fork."

"Sookie! That is just.... insane Sookie! Even though you are under his protection, you still have to fear HIM. There is nobody out there that can save you if he's the one that wants to hurt you!"

"Believe me, Sam, I know that!" I yelled on the top of my lungs.

We were both silent for a while. Then Sam held up the lunch bag.

"So, why don't we sit down and just forget about the damn viking sheriff. I brought extra pickles, and onion rings."

"Thanks. Not very hungry though."

"You need to eat, your body needs to repair itself. Just....one more question. Did Eric offer you his blood?"

"Yes." I sat down and played with a fry.

"But, you didnt take it?"

"No. I couldn't."

"I see. Sookie- you have to promise me though, if something happens to you again- if you are badly hurt and Eric is offering... you gotta take it. You have had a lot of close calls, and I don't think you know how lucky you are. Everyone's luck runs out sometime. So just...think about it. It's better to drink the blood of a vampire that you hate, than it is to be dead. I didn't want to drink Vamp blood, thought I'd never do something like that... but, it was the only thing I could do. It was the right thing."

"I can't promise that Sam. I won't. Anyway, Bill is different. And...Well...if it ever did come down to that...I'm sure he would have no problem forcing me anyway."

"Okay. I understand. I'll put your burger in the oven, I'm sure its probably cold by now."

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes.

"Sam? Do you think you could check out that place in the woods where your friends found Bill? Did they give you directions?"

"More or less."

"Because I want you to deliver a letter for me. I don't want you to do it in secret. I want you to go right up to the door and knock. Bill will know it's you, since you had his blood. But I also want Lorena to know she isn't getting away with what she's doing so easily. She'll probably answer. I want you to hand her the letter and let her know that it is from me. And if she suddenly snaps, you can turn into a bird or bee or something, something that can fly away quickly? I don't want you to do this if you could get hurt."

"Yeah, okay. Sure, I'll do that. Despite whatever reason he has for taking off-"

I glared at him.

"OR- if he was taken against his will- Well, it's just not right that you don't have closure, Sookie. Maybe he didn't know you well enough, to know that you would obsess over his disappearance and wait around for him. He does love you, I don't doubt that. But- sometimes even though people love each other, it just can't be, Sookie. I'll do this for you, to help you get the answers that you need."

"Thanks so much Sam. But even if I do get answers... my life will never be the same kind of normal again. I guess I better start learning to accept that."

"When was your life any kind of normal?" Sam chuckled.

"Well yeah," I smiled. "But my life felt normal to ME. And that is what counts."

"Yeah, that's what people don't understand. My life feels pretty normal too. Even though half the town would probably form a lynching squad if they found out I occasionally turn into a dog. I'm really glad you found out about me. It's nice to feel normal around you, Sookie. I don't know why I didn't tell you sooner. I wish I had."

"I feel really normal around you too." I reached over and kissed his cheek.

**Contents of envelope I sent to Bill:**

_Dear Lorena,_

_I figured you would open this first. I would have sent over a housewarming gift, but Bill didn't forward me his new address. Do you realize how much of a pathetic coward you are? Hiding Bill in some shack in the woods, playing house as if he were a doll? Well, you might be older and stronger than me, but YOU are NOT BETTER THAN ME. You know this and this is why you are being such a sneaky rat, isn't it? You know in that cold dead heart of yours, that you have lost. No wonder you have to take men by force! Nobody could ever love somebody as ugly and pathetic as you. I suggest that you just give up now, and leave Bill alone. I am not prepared to give up on him so easily._

_Regards,_

_Sookie Stackhouse, Soon to be Sookie Compton._

_Dear Bill,_

_I miss you. I miss you so much. I have lived every day in agony since you disappeared. Eric told me that we can't be together anymore, and that you are choosing to be with Lorena, but there is no way I would ever believe that. I know there is something else going on. I know that you would give your life protecting me- that you truly love me, and want to be mine. I never got a chance to give you my answer in the restaurant that night. I wanted to tell you that I do want to be your wife. I do want to spend the rest of my life with you. I do want to be in love with you, even though you are a vampire, and all the obstacles that creates. But I don't care about those things- and what it takes to get you back. I'll never be happy living without you. And I know that you will never be happy being Lorena's plaything either. Jessica is having a hard time- she does miss you, even though she pretends to be exited she doesn't have to recycle anymore. She seems very confused and Hoyt is worried about her. I keep telling her you'll be back anytime soon. _

_I need to see you. Get away and come see me, somehow. Even if it's just for a couple minutes. _

_With all of my heart,_

_Your Fiancé Sookie_

_P.S- Lorena, just give Bill the letter. If I'm not a threat to you, then it shouldn't matter if he reads this, right? If you don't, I'll just send more. I won't shut up until you let him see me. _


	11. Chapter 11

_Eric softly stroked my hair, and leaned over to give me "butterfly kisses" on the sensitive spot on my neck._

_"Aaaaaaaahh! Hey, hey... you know I can't stand that!" I giggled. "Careful, you know having Jason for a brother and putting up with all his crap, I became a pretty good tickler. In fact, I can probably say I am... a professional..." _

_I jumped up from my position beside him and ran my fingers down Eric's body. _

_"Hmm... everyone has a spot... I'll find yours...." I grinned devilishly._

"_I hate to disappoint you sweetheart, but Vampires don't get...ticklish. Go ahead and try though. Any excuse to get your hands all over my body is a good one." Eric said smugly. _

"_I don't believe you for one second. You're just scared of my ability to render you into a puddle of giggles, sweetheart. I think I know...just where your spot is...somewhere...that doesn't get touched very often... because it is touched too much..." I laid my head down on his wide hip. _

"_Is that supposed to be a riddle?" _

"_Hrm, I guess so. What's the answer then?"_

"_That's the worst riddle I've ever heard." Eric said laughing softly and looking at me warmly._

"_Is it?" I dashed backward two feet and begin attacking Eric's feet with my tickling skills._

_He immediately jolted a bit and clenched his fists as I continued the assault. _

"_You know, I could do this all day. Can you?" _

_Eric let out a deep playful laugh that turned into real breathy laughter as I changed tactics and immediately found HIS TICKLE SPOT. _

"_Sookie, Sookie...Okay, you win! You are the Queen of tickles!"_

_I grinned and returned to my position in his arms._

"_Good. I don't really want to be stuck down there anyway. I would much rather be... UP HERE... where I can...reach EVERYTHING..."_

I leaned in to kiss him and simultaneously reached my hand down to grab his cock, and he groaned in satisfaction.

I woke up feeling really good from one of those dreams again. I felt loved. And it was always such a deep crash down to reality when I realized that it wasn't real- and could never be real. So my mornings turned out to be routinely depressing. Along with the waking thought of Bill, of course.

Sam had told me that he was going to head out that evening to find Lorena's shack and deliver my letter to Bill. I was eagerly anticipating his report of how it went down. He said he knew where an owl lived and could "copy" it, so that it would be faster to get there and he could make a quick getaway if he had to. Plus having night vision is really good when dealing with sneaky Vamps.

I giggled as I imagined Sam flying over to the shack, looking like one of those mail owls in Harry Potter. But that just reminded me of Bill again. We had watched the Harry Potter movies together, he had bought them for me. He said things like how he enjoyed the traditional good vs. Evil aspect, that it was teaching kids the power of the good side, and that evil never wins for very long. I had asked him what he thought of the supernatural aspect, and he had laughed and said the movie was very fictional but had some things that were very true. I asked about what these things were, but he immediately clammed up and said something like he would explain later, "if he had to." I remember that annoyed me, because he was always so reluctant to share anything about "his world".

I thought more about the letter that Eric wrote. So he was aware that people were after me? Or Vampires, or Whoever! The fellowship of the sun scared me more than the Vampires did. At least Vampires, and what they want, makes sense most of the time. They want to drink peoples blood and play their lame political games with each other, and collect humans like trophies. But the Fellowship of the Sun- they just want to kill- just for the sake of killing! Just for the sake of hating. Hating Vampires because they are different. And hating me because I'm different.

I had a thought. Maybe that rapist had been sent by the Fellowship of the Sun. I don't always get people's thoughts right about their intentions. I mean- I spent LOTS of time with Rene, and I never figured out...

Well. There was not a lot of sense thinking about HIM anymore... like Rene, I had killed him. But if he was sent to kill me... then... maybe they would send someone else? I shuddered.

I lifted my depressing morning by making a really nice breakfast of Ham and eggs, and awaited Sams news.

I head a knock on the door, but was surprised when I opened it to find a delivery man with a package for me. I was hoping by some miracle it was from Bill, but the address said E. Northman.

Inside was a brand new Iphone in a box, a book or something in a paper bag, another velvet box, and a letter.

_Dearest Sookie,_

_Here is a replacement Cell phone for the one I was forced to destroy. I will pay your bill, everything is included, and I am letting you know that I will be monitoring your statements for strange numbers. This is what is best for you. Yes I am treating you like a child. And no, there isn't anything you can do about it._

_I encourage you to use the internet. Download music, and any apps that you would like. If there is another phone that is more to your liking, I will switch them. _

_You WILL use this phone. I know you are probably planning on having a fit, and telling me off in not so ladylike a fashion, that I am not to interfere in your life. It will get you nowhere. But feel free to do so anyway, I quite enjoy your amusing "performances". _

_I hope you enjoy your other gift. I assure you that it is pure silver and very functional if an emergency arises. Do not throw it away. I am assuming that is your first impulse. You should be wearing it EVERY DAY. Don't think of it as a reminder of me, even though I am the one gifting it to you. Think of it as a necessity- like bear spray in the middle of grizzly country when you are wearing a dress made of barbequed top sirloin._

_I hope you enjoy my other gift, even more._

_Eric_

_P.S. _

_You may also enjoy the "functional purpose" of the calendar I am gifting you, in case you have another kind of "emergency". _

Damn that Viking stalker!

I opened the velvet box first. In it was a tiny silver dagger strung on a necklace. It was artistically crafted with what looked like celtic designs, and had diamonds encrusted on the handle. I placed my fingertip on the point, and it was sharp enough to pierce my skin and form a droplet of blood. I quickly sucked on my finger to stop the bleeding.

I guess I could wear it, even though it's from Eric. After all- it would also help protect me from HIM. Surely he knew that. Besides protecting me, this must be his bizarre way of saying he trusts me. Especially since... I've already stabbed him... a few times.

I took out the paper bag and laughed out loud when out came the "Nude Vampire Hunks of Louisiana" 2010 calendar.

I found it hilarious that Vampires would do such things. With all the power they had, with all they money they have- they will still pose nude in a Calendar to get even more attention from the humans they hate so much.

Did I dare open it? I thought of immediately tossing it in the trash, but my curiosity got the best of me. I didn't have to look too far- Eric was "Mr. January." Was he ever.

Even though I was alone, I immediately felt myself blushing and becoming hot.

In the photo, it looked like Eric was in one of those ice hotels I had read about, where absolutely everything is made of ice. There were large fake snowflakes descending from the ceiling. Everything was in shadows. There was a fireplace made of ice (how? Must be fake) and the fire was burning brightly, casting shadows and causing the ice to shine- and also perfectly highlighting Eric's perfect chest. He was oiled up or something, so that all his muscles shone. He was sitting up on a bed made of ice. Something else was sitting up too. Quite profoundly. Beside him lay a a beautiful girl, with her lifeless eyes staring upward. She had blue skin, and had sparkly white lips and eyes. She was either supposed to be some kind of ice princess, or a dead human. I was guessing Eric had intended the latter. I'm sure he would find that hilarious- glorifying his sexuality and ability to kill to mock the dumb fang-bangers who submit to him.

I was still holding the calander when i got a knock on the door. I was sitting near the door so I answered it immediately.

"Sam! Am I ever glad to see you!" I exclaimed, and before I realized what I was doing, I tried to hug him.

He immediately noticed the colander and grinned.

"Yeah. Mission successful- Hey, watcha got there, Sookie?"

I was pretty sure I turned a shade close to red.

"Oh, THIS?! Omigod, I don't even want it! It's...lewd! Eric sent it to me, as a joke obviously... I'll probably tear his picture out and give it to Lafayette."

"Tear out his picture so that you can have him to yourself?" he laughed.

"Hell, No! NO WAY! Well, Lafayette really hates Eric, and-"

"Relax, Sookie, I was just kiddin. I brought you some food again too. This time it's a salad I made myself, you probably shouldn't be eating our food on a regular basis if you know what I mean. Most of its just delicious empty calories. But don't remind the customers of that." He smiled.

"Oh, thanks. So what happened?!"

I didn't want to talk about Eric, or salads. I wanted to get to the point.

"Well, you were right. That bitches name was Lorena, and is she ever crazy as a jaybird. The shack they are in isn't old- it was built recently, in the old fashioned way, probably by herself? She's wearing old clothing, and Bill was dressed in what looked like a civil war uniform."

"Okay, okay that's...really...weird, but did you speak to Bill?!"

"Not so fast, let me tell the story. Let's sit down to eat first." He took my hand and pulled me into the kitchen.

I shovelled food into my mouth, barely paying attention to what I ate as I listened.

"They were surprised to see me. Before I had a chance to knock on the door, Bill opened it for me. He looked...sad...and kind of gaunt. She may have been starving him. Lorena immediately tore the door open and pushed Bill aside. I tried to glare at Lorena as best I could. I told her 'This is a letter from Sookie, to Bill. Let him read it.' She rolled her eyes at me, and clicked her tongue, and called you...a dirty name I don't care to repeat. I attempted to hand the note to Bill when he reached for it, but she snatched it from his hand and tore it open herself, which I guess you anticipated because she started to read the letter addressed to her aloud. Bill snickered and seemed to be pleased with your mocking tone. I was too. When Bill asked for the second letter, Lorena punched him in the face and continued to read the other letter as he lay on the floor. She laughed haughtily, but Bill did seem very touched by what you wrote. I demanded to speak to Bill alone, but of course, Lorena wouldn't have that. She said that she would allow Bill to see you this evening only, at your house- on one condition. That she would be present."

"What?! Well, I can't say I'm really surprised...but I was kinda hoping... she would take a day off or something?"

"I know. But I want to be there when she shows up. I'll protect you if anything happens."

"It's okay, Sam, I don't need-"

"No, it's not okay Sookie! I know how your mouth gets sometimes. And you admitted to me you actually stabbed Eric with silver! You are...not quite yourself... which is understandable, after what you've been through. But to deal with a Vamp like this- you gotta keep a cool head. And you don't have a cool head right now. I will respect your privacy, I will be waiting in the woods in the form of a lion, just in case."

"A lion?! Where the heck did you find a LION around here?"

"There's a guy halfway to Shreveport who keeps exotic pets. Some rich asshole. I've snuck inside his compound before when the need arises. That's where I found the white bull I used, when Maryanne..." he stopped for a moment.

"Hey, can I get a glass of water, if you don't mind?"

"Oh, here I was being such a rude selfish host! Of course, you can have whatever you like! And... lets not talk about Maryanne. She just isn't worth talking about."

"Yeah, that's right. That's the best kind of revenge. Just....forgetting her. Look, I gotta get back to the bar, and take a trip to that compound before evening, so I can't stay. But you call me, as soon as nightfall comes. I'm going to head back as soon as possible, but in case of delays- I just want you to check in, is all. Okay, can you do that for me?"

"Sure, Sam. After what you've done for me, I can manage a phone call."

"Good."

He turned to leave, but then paused and looked back at me smiling.

"And Sookie- You look good. Looks like you're healing nicely. That's good."

"Yeah. See you later Sam."

When it was close to nightfall, I took Lupe into the bathroom with her favourite toys and some treats. I didn't want her to get hurt trying to defend me again. Poor darling.

I dialled Sam, and he said he was on his way over and would park further away so that they wouldn't immediately know he was there, so that he had the advantage of a surprise attack if things came down to that.

He was being such a good friend to me. I knew from catching glimpses of his thoughts that he still thought things about me. But I was hoping he wasn't seriously holding onto the idea that I would suddenly fall for him and want to be his girlfriend.

I waited anxiously. I tried to work on some cross-stitching, and watch some old videos, but I couldn't take my mind off of the meeting.

At around 9pm I finally heard that familiar knock, and I burst toward the door.

There stood Bill, looking at me so warmly that I felt tears forming. Directly beside him, holding his arm in hers, was Lorena.

She had dressed for the occasion, in some kind of lounge dress and gaudy makeup, but Bill was wearing an old civil war uniform. The bitch was obviously displaying that she OWNED Bill.

"Why, aren't you going to be a proper host and invite us in?" Lorena said in a mocking carefree tone.

"After all, you invited us. I hope you provided dinner and party favours? We would have brought something, but of course you don't share our taste." She smiled sweetly.

"Listen Bitch, there is no way I am inviting you into MY HOUSE. Get off my porch! I will talk to Bill OUTSIDE."

"No. We're leaving. It's not proper for a lady to be entertained on your front lawn. Have you no manners?" She immediately turned and grabbed Bill with obvious force.

His eyes fell, and he looked dejected. He was saying something like "Sorry Sookie, I love you" as Lorena quickly pulled him away.

No. NO, it wasn't fair. He was so close. But... I could invite them into the kitchen. I knew where the silver was, and of course I had the silver necklace from Eric so I wasn't defenceless. And Sam would come running in here if he heard trouble.

"WAIT! Fine, I invite you in!"

Bills eyes suddenly went wide with shock and he shook his head.

"NO! Sookie! Don't!"

But it was too late, Lorena had used her vampire speed and had run through the open door, slammed it shut, and then stood two inches in front of my face.

Then we all jumped as the front door was wrenched off its hinges, and a loud roar vibrated throughout the room.

Eric stood there in the doorway, fuming with fury, every muscle in his body flexed and hard, showing through his wife beater, his fangs extended, hissing.

"Sookie. What have you done?" He growled at me. "You MUST invite me in, NOW!"

But before I had a chance, Lorena's hand was around my throat.


	12. Chapter 12

Lorena completely ignored Eric and smiled as she motioned with her head for Bill to come to her side, her hand still gripping my throat tightly, so that I could only gurgle a mumble.

"Bill darling, will you please remove this dumb blood bags necklace for me? It's just hideous, isn't it. Doesn't match what she's wearing at all! Oh look...Is this the ring you gave her? Why its so... small and cheap. Suits her, doesn't it. I knew you didn't really love her."

"Lorena, let her go, please, I'm begging you... I'll do whatever you want if you let her go!" Bill sounded like he was going to cry.

"Now why would I make a deal like that, sugar? You already do what I want," and she laughed.

STUPID. I had made an incredibly stupid mistake. I might die here tonight, in front of Bill and Sam. Why hadn't I used my brain? I knew Lorena was both strong, and insane. A very, very bad combination.

"LORENA! You will let her go, this instant! That is an order from your sheriff!" Eric fiercely threatened.

Bill looked down, sheepish with shame, and then his hands sizzled as his hands moved around my neck to take off the silver necklace. My eyes were tearing up at this point and as he looked at me, he tried to calm me by smiling a warm loving smile. I wanted to kick Bill in the balls. Why wasn't he at least trying to fight for me?

"Throw it down the sink....NOW Bill. I know how you can be dramatic.," she said with bile. "Eric, you know I don't have to answer to you. I'm in your area on the authority of the Queen herself."

"We had a deal!" He responded.

Just then there was the crashing sound of breaking glass to the right, as the large form of Sam as a lion bounded through the window.

Lorena attempted to grab me and pull me to the side, but Sam had leaped forward and bit hard into her thigh, and pushed her to the wall. She screamed with fury as she still held on to my neck. With her other leg she kicked Sam hard in the head and he flew back 5 feet and flipped over, but he immediately righted himself and roared, every hair on his body stiff. He looked very menacing.

"My, my. Two other men fighting for you. You're quite the little slut, aren't you? But we can be civilized, talk this over and have a little girl talk, can't we?" she said sweetly. Then her voice turned hard. "If any of you touch me again, I WILL snap her neck." She relaxed her grip so that I could at least speak.

"I reci-"

"It's not going to be that easy." she said, crushing my throat again. "Try to say that again, and I'll-"

"LORENA! You know as well as I do, that if you harm Sookie, you will NOT be on the Queens favoured side and I will have the authority to do ANYTHING I WISH to you, especially since you broke our contract!" Eric said.

"I wouldn't say you've been following the Queens orders either. You're doing a very...lousy...job of protecting her, aren't you?" Bill said bitterly.

"Rrraaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!" Eric roared in Bills direction.

"But I am being rude, aren't I?" Lorena said. "Okay, you can let your viking blockhead in. He knows that if he tries anything, I can hurt you. And I don't mean- physically." With this she relaxed her grip again.

"Ericpleasecomein!" I said as quickly as I could, but it came out hoarse and choked, and I coughed and gasped.

Eric sped right to Lorena and looked down at her in a threatening stance, hatred and disgust filling his eyes.

"You gave me your word that you would keep her from interfering with my life." Said Lorena. "So since you broke your word...I can break mine. I don't know why you just didn't... SIMPLIFY ...everything in the first place and just, TELL her? Let her know how pathetic her desire for Bill really is?"

Bill had been standing apart but in a flash was suddenly by Lorena's side with his fangs bared and he said lowly with malice, "No. Don't. If you do that, I can promise you, I will fight you to your death, or my death. I don't care which!"

Lorena looked right at him and laughed, as if this was hilarious. "Bill, don't fool yourself. We're already dead. And I'm the one who killed you. I KNOW you. I know what it takes to gain your favour..." she ran her tongue along her lips, "And to break you in, just good as new again."

"EVERYONE just SHUT UP!" I suddenly shouted, surprising even myself.

"All I wanted was to just....talk to Bill! To just...SAY GOODBYE, if I have to say goodbye! I'm sorry Bill, I know this is my fault.." I was starting to cry. "But I just had to see you again...I couldn't let you go, just like that!"

Lorena giggled. "This is far more entertaining than I thought it would be. However, I know how I can spice things up even more." She turned to Bill. "Bill Compton- I order you, AS YOUR MAKER, to tell your dear, dear Sookie here- the real reason you came to Bon Temps when you did." She grinned, looking quite pleased with herself.

Bill's face went into shock. He would have gone paler, if he could have.

"Sookie...I'm so sorry...so sorry....I do love you...BUT-" he attempted to fight the urge to obey his order.

Eric backed off and he looked at the ground, looking lost as to what to do.

"I was sent to Bon Temp. I had orders from our Queen to go there. To go there. And- find you."

"W-what? How can that be?! What Queen would want anything to do with me?!" My voice was shrill.

"Sookie, she asked me to.....seduce you..." his voice was shaking. "So that she could gain control over you, and use you for your gift." He had pity in his eyes.

For some reason- probably because I was in a state of shock, I started laughing, even though know I know it's really not funny, AT ALL.

"What? No...NO! Eric, tell me that is a lie!"

He looked at me, his eyes sad and distant. "It is the truth, Sookie. I was not aware of it until recently."

"Sookie! It's not like that... I Love y-" Lorena slapped Bill hard across the face.

"Heel." She said to Bill, sternly. "Ah, so now you know the truth. And I can now be assured that you will no longer be playing with MY child. He is grounded at the moment, and it not allowed outdoors anyway." She sneered at him.

I didn't even feel it when released my neck. My stomach had dropped to the floor, and my body was shaking as I went over in my mind my first meetings with Bill. _He had come to the bar, and simply sat there with a glass of wine. Bill is not very social with random strangers, he hadn't done anything like that since. And never seemed to want to "hang out" at Merlotte's with me. Seems so unlike him now... It had to be true. It came from HIS OWN MOUTH, an order from his Maker. Oh My God... _

As soon as Lorena had let go of my neck, there was a commotion. Eric was immediately on Lorena, towering over her with his large frame, and he wrenched her head back, lifting her off the ground with her hair, and said "YOU...WILL...BE....PUNISHED!" while she simply pouted and giggled.

Sam attacked Bill with fury and Bill was pushed to the ground in a blur of fur and teeth. He seemed too dejected to fight back.

The world then seemed to move in slow motion as everything sunk in. I had an idea. I ran to get the silver serving fork from the drawer, and noticed that Bill had NOT put the necklace (or the engagement ring) down the drain, they were sitting inside the sink. I grabbed them both.

As I returned Eric was still hissing at Lorena. With his other hand he grabbed her neck and leaned in close her her face. "You are NO LONGER welcome in MY territory. I do not care about the Queen's permission. In run things HERE, NOT SHE! You will LEAVE area 5 IMMEDIATELY, forever. And you will remember this warning for some time!"

Eric then twisted Lorena's hair and then with one hard YANK he ripped her scalp clean off, and threw it directly on Bill, who still lay still in defeat (or heartbreak?) underneath Sam, claw marks healing on his face. Lorena looked absolutely shocked, and small streams of bright red blood began to stream down her pale face from her raw bloody scalp.

I realized this was the perfect time to make my move. While Eric still had her by the throat, I took the silver fork in my good arm, and with all my strength I jammed it into Lorena's chest with a sickening crunching sound. As I did, a wave of blue flames pulsated through my hand and into her chest. Her eyes became wide and glassy, and she made a guttural scratchy moaning sound.

I knew I was no longer in danger. I knew I didn't NEED to do it. But I felt like I HAD to, a part of me was so raging angry that I was convinced I had to get rid of Lorena for good, none of the possible consequences had even entered my mind. I JUST WANTED HER.....DEAD. Dead FOR REAL that is.

"Swollow this, bitch!" I said as I then crammed the silver dagger necklace down her open mouth.

She began to convulse- but she wasn't going down quite yet. She looked at me with pure hatred in her eyes, and simultaneously as Eric was restraining her arms, she kicked me hard in the abdomen and sent me flying across the room. My back landed on the table, and my limbs went flying as it collapsed beneath me. Then everything went black.

"_Sookie... Why do you want to get old...so badly?" Eric whispered in my ear._

"_I don't WANT TO be old... it's just what happens! To people." I smiled. Sometimes he asked me strange questions like a 3 year old would. _

"_IT doesn't have to be that way...." he began kissing my neck._

"_YES it does. I've already told you this like, a billion times, silly!" _

"_And I'll ask you to stay with me forever a billion more times, until you realize how silly YOU are..."_

"_Oh yeah? What if I finally agreed, and I was like...87 years old?" I giggled._

"_Then I imagine we'd have a lot less sex in our eternity together... and you would totally cramp my style. But... you would still be my love. I would still take care of you. See? You know you'll give in eventually. My charm is irresistible... so you might as well...submit...NOW...unless you really want to spend eternity knitting, and talking to cats."_

I awoke with an intense splitting headache, and the realization that liquid was being forced down my throat. I opened my eyes, to see Eric hovering above me, his wrist slashed and against my mouth. It appeared we were alone.

I began coughing and spitting it out, more of a reflex because I think some of it had gone down the wrong way.

"No..." I mumbled.

He roared angrily at me, crouched in front of my face in a menacing posture, and bared his fangs.

"Oh, YES YOU WILL Sookie... YOU WILL."

And he pinched my nose shut, and shoved his wound into my mouth. I had to swallow- I had to do what he wanted because in my panic I hadn't taken a large breath. My lungs stung with hot needles and the will to breathe was so overpowering so I just swallowed as it gushed down my throat. I felt as though I was drowning in his blood. I became tingly and lightheaded and knew I was going to pass out.

"Sookie, you are an INSOLENT...FOOLISH...IDIOTIC girl!"

My eyes drooped, and my vision became black with bright fireflies of colour before I lost consciousness again.


	13. Chapter 13

**A NOTE- Thanks to everybody who is reading so far. Sorry for not updating for a while- life gets in the way. I appreciate the nice reviews and comments when things don't make sense! :) **

**I found an article called "Eric is a Lion", where Alexander Skarsgard talks about his version of Eric, I recommend googling it...(especially if you like cute pictures of him)...there is another article linked to it called 'Alexander Skarsgard: Nudity is great' which I believe is an EXCELLENT attitude for him to have. Although I warn you, those pics may give you a heart attack. :)  
**

I awoke on a cold, hard surface. There was a sharp metallic taste in my mouth, and I swollowed hard, trying to ease my dry throat.

I gasped as I realized I was naked, and though I blinked and tried to adjust my eyes, the room was completely black. I slowly lowered myself off of the cool concrete floor, and discovered the rattling of a chain. I reached down to my foot. Yes, there was a chain around my ankle. I followed the chain upwards, and found it was attached to a metal poll.

The room smelled of musty basement, but it also reeked of urine, dried blood, and the pungent sweat of fear. My heart skipped a beat. I had been in this room before. _I was chained up in Eric's jail cell, that was attached to Fangtasia. _

My thoughts raced as memories of last nights events ran forward brashly to haunt me. I moaned as I felt the sickness rise up, and my face contorted as I shook and curled myself into a ball, sobbing deeply, the kind that is so deep in sorrow that you can't cry. Tears streamed down my face as I rocked, the only sound the rattle of the chain and my ragged frantic gasping for air.

My Bill, the only man I had ever loved, was sent to Bon Temps to USE ME. He had orders to seduce me, make me love him, so that I would trust him when the Queen sent further orders for him to GIVE ME TO HER. But the way he looked at me...was not cold. And he had not put the ring down the sink, as ordered, but merely dropped it IN the sink. Apparently he could fight Lorena's orders, just a little bit. That little act of defiance showed that he cared, or at least... still wanted me to believe he cared. Even if he did love me, why did he not tell me he came to Bon Temps under false pretences? He could have told me...could have warned me there was a Queen that was set out to get me. But he didn't even mention that Vampires had Queens. He was always so secretive about Vampire society, and his own past. Whenever I tried to bring it up, he brushed my questions aside by telling me it didn't matter, because he was "mainstreaming" and wanted a normal life now. That my love made him feel human again. _That lying, deceitful son of a bitch. _I laughed out loud as I realized that in fact HE WAS THE SON OF A BITCH. No doubt a little of Lorena's manipulative coldness had rubbed off on him. And he had acted like her little lapdog, how disgusting.

Lorena. I had stabbed her in the chest, aiming for her dead rotten heart. The blue flames had erupted again. And then- because I hated her so very much- I fed her a taste of her own medicine- I forced the small silver dagger down her throat. She must be dead....

_That was why I was here. I was a prisoner in Eric's jail because I killed a Vampire. _How could I expect him to treat me differently? It was his duty as Sherrif. But did the bastard have to leave me naked? OMIGOD! I suddenly thought in horror. _Did he have sex with me while I was unconscious??!_

I examined myself for the telltale subtle soreness that I had previously felt a couple days after Eric had been inside me- since I was "tight" Bill told me, and Eric was, well... SUBSTANTIAL. I didn't feel any discomfort, and sighed with relief. I would hate him even more if he had taken advantage of me like that.

I remembered my last moments of consciousness with bitterness. Eric became all VAMPIRE, his eyes were angry and terrifying as he forced the blood down my throat. He certainly could have offered his blood to me more tastefully. I probably would have taken it anyway... I had realized I was injured, badly. Everything had been a torrent of pain.

I felt no pain now, only fear for what might happen to me. I knew that Sam cared deeply for me, and would have a huge problem with Eric chaining me up in his torture room. But... next to Eric, what could Sam really do? Eric could overpower any animal that Sam could shift into. I came to the harsh realization that I was now under Eric's complete control. I had been forced to drink a lot of his blood. His senses for me would be even stronger now. He could do whatever he wanted to me, and there was nothing anybody could do about it. He would simply scoff at our human police and our human laws, if anyone came looking for me- he would probably just move me. _Or... Kill me?_

I shouldn't fool myself. I meant nothing to Eric. He simply wanted to use me like everyone else. He found my telepathy to be something of a curiosity, a useful tool for him. If he decided my telepathy was no longer useful... he would discard me, like taking out the trash. To him, I was just another miserable blood sack, guilty of the horrible crime of killing one of his kind. Even though he clearly hated Lorena... he probably saw her life as more important than mine.

I listened intently with my mind. There was one human in the bar, and one blank Vampire mind. I guessed that the mind was Ginger's, and that she was asleep. I could not detect anything coherent, just a jumbled mess of images that didn't make sense. Even in her sleep, Ginger's mind was messed up, because she had been glamoured so often.

I could do nothing but lie in wait with my gruesome thoughts until night fell, and Eric returned. It's not like I felt comfortable taking a nap in the torture chamber/jail, where I had killed a man.

The hours passed slowly in agony.

I felt the bustle of three Vampire minds when I figured, the sun was going down.

I looked into Ginger's mind. Through the messy nonsense, I discovered that she had indeed talked to Eric that evening. Or rather- Eric had ordered her to get her lazy ass off the stool, and to scrub puke off of one of the woman's bathroom stalls. She didn't seem to be aware that I was down here.

Long moments stretched by until I felt a rush of human minds. The bar was opening.

I waited, humming some of my favourite songs in an attempt to lighten the mood. It didn't really work, but it kept my mind from thinking, and remembering.

Out of boredom I scanned the whirlpool of human minds. Same old boring fang-banger nonsense, for the most part. They all craved Eric's attention. He was sitting on his throne, as usual. _Stupid fucking morons. _Their thoughts weren't entertaining tonight, they just made me feel sicker. I was almost one of them....I almost believed, almost...that Eric... No. I was just as moronic as they are. Of course they wanted him. On the outside, he is very desirable. But they didn't know him like I do.

I waited, and waited. The floor was quite uncomfortable, and I continuously shifted as my limbs ached, being unaccustomed to spending long periods of time on a concrete floor. It was also a little cool, and my skin was covered in goosebumps. I had to pee very badly at one point. I waited until I was completely desperate, to use the bucket that had been placed within my reach, that smelled revolting.

I probably wouldn't have wanted a light on in here anyway. I was kind of glad I didn't have to look at the bloody hand prints and splatters that covered the floor and walls.

My stomach was also starting to growl with hunger, although I was probably too sick to eat anything anyway.

The human minds drifted out of the bar slowly, until the few remaining ones were rushed out the door by Pam, when it was probably 2am, closing time. Soon after closing, I shuddered as I accidentally caught some images from Ginger's mind, of her relaxing and moaning as Pam sucked on her neck. _EEEeeeew. _

After what seemed to be an hour or so, I heard a metallic creaking sound as a door open and shut quickly. I waited, but didn't hear anybody coming as I listened in the dark. I cautiously said a meek "Hello? .....Eric?" I could tell there was a vampire mind.....somewhere.

"Sookie."

I jumped backwards, my heart racing. When Eric spoke, I realized he was only inches from my face. Because he didn't breath, I couldn't detect his presence. I didn't say anything, I just waited for him to speak. But he was completely silent, as the minutes dragged on. I was getting worried, and pretty creeped out. He was probably staring at my naked body. I crossed my arms over my breasts. I knew that Vampires had good vision in the dark. I was also mad at myself for getting a tiny bit turned on.

"Okay Eric, stop fucking with me! Why am I here?!" I suddenly screamed. I had enough of the silent treatment. He was probably mocking me, since I had done it to him before, when I was here last.

"I doubt you'd really want me to stop fucking with you, Sookie. And you don't ask the questions here, it is I who asks the questions." Eric said coldly, without the charm that usually peppered his sexual innuendos.

"Why did you not trust me? Why did you seek out the shifter instead of me? You are lucky that you made that call on the cell phone I gave you. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been in the area. Have no doubt- Lorena would have killed you, you ridiculous girl!"

"Because!" I knew I was being childish, but I didn't care.

"Because, is not an adequate answer." he said, in a soft whisper, directly in my ear. I jumped again.

"Fine, BECAUSE- back in Dallas, you lied to me, took me for a stupid fool, and manipulated me for your own benefit. BECAUSE you hurt my good friend Lafayette- I saw in his mind what you did to those people! You fed on them like an animal, and then you tore them apart still alive! You're just like all the other mean spirited Vampires, I thought Bill was different, but..." I choked on my voice, and couldn't continue.

"What you say, is absurd. If I had not taken your blood, I would not have known that you were being raped. If I was not monitoring you I wouldn't have been able to protect you and save your life last night. You should be grateful, Sookie, that I tricked you into drinking my blood. Grateful for your life! But instead, you despise me and what I have done for you. And I have done....so much...for you. Many things I would not have done for others. You are a small minded brat, like most humans. I don't know why I expected something different from you." Eric growled.

"It's not that I'm NOT grateful, of course I am! But I'm not going to bow down and kiss your feet like some drunken numbskull fangbanger!" I yelled.

"Perhaps that would be in your best interest. You are in an awful lot of trouble Sookie...And consequently, I am in trouble as well. It's in my best interest to not help you out anymore." he said without emotion.

"So that means....Lorena....Is dead...?" I gulped.

"Yes. She died a most painful death, which she entirely deserved. I congratulate you on your...creativity and the zest with which you executed the act. It was very amusing....to see that look of complete shock on that bitch's face. But you must know...as you remember what happened to Bill when he killed Longshadow...that our courts treat the death of a Vampire VERY seriously. And Lorena had many connections... Longshadow was a loner, but Lorena was a bit of a slut- she had many 'friends' in high places. Many will notice her absence, and some may even mourn her passing. What I am saying is.... Lorena was not a Vampire that could be killed without repercussions. I would have killed her myself- but... it would be much, much more trouble than the satisfaction of final death is worth."

My heart rate was speeding up. I didn't really want to hear what would happen to me... but I had to know.

"So...what kind of...repercussions?"

"Normally- we simply torture, and drain the human dry. Or...whatever creative kind of death the magister has in mind. He is quite devious, and loves experimenting. No human laws can touch him."

"Omigod.... PLEASE Eric, please don't tell them it was me! I'll do anything you want, I don't want to die!" I said with panic.

"Anything, you say? Sookie, you sure ARE going to do anything I say, whether you want to, or not. You are locked in here for a reason. Your judgment is irrational and short-sighted. I cannot trust you. I gave you a chance, and you blew it."

"I'm SORRY, it's just that I have known Sam longer, and-" I was starting to sob.

"No more of that nonsense, Sookie! You sent messages to Bill, behind my back, endangering yourself, AND ME. You did not believe me that I was handling the situation.. Do you think I should claim to have killed her?! Do you think it reasonable that I should be imprisoned in a silver coffin for a decade as my flesh burns and withers to nothing? So that I skeletonize and my mind swims in an insane delirium, while experiencing a never-ending fire of pain? Because that is what they would do to me, if I told them I killed Lorena. A sheriff killing another Vampire that was on the Queens mission, is a grave offence, literally!" He said angrily.

"No, but... can't you say someone else did it? Or that you don't know what happened to her?!" I said , my voice shaky.

"There will be an investigation. They will find the scent of her blood in your house. I cleaned it up, but...Sookie, the scent of a Vampires blood lingers for a long time. It has soaked into your floor and walls. It would be obvious that your house was the place of her final death. You could only blame the death on Compton, or the shifter, if you wish. And besides- the Queen wants you. She could grant you forgiveness, in return for lifetime servitude. You are useful, I doubt that you will receive a punishment of death. But who knows, she is capricious and has a nasty temper when she doesn't get her way. What will happen to me- I don't know. She will probably rip my fangs out. They will grow back, but...it will be a few months. The shame will be more painful. Your best option, is to burn down your house, and become my loyal bonded servant. We could claim Lorena set it on fire, because she has a grudge against you, and that she accidentally set herself on fire as well. A weak story, but it is the best we can do." Eric sounded almost a little sad.

"NO, I don't want Bill or Sam to die because I killed someone! And why would she punish you though, Eric? If she wants me, finds me useful, then wouldn't she be pleased that you saved me?!" I said, confused.

"Because.....I could have easily stopped you. And I didn't." I felt his cool hand reach out to caress my face.

"Why not? If you knew how much trouble it would be...why didn't you STOP ME, you fucker!" I slapped him, somewhere on the shoulder.

"Because....I was amazed at your ruthlessness...and also proud, that despite being a pitifully weak human, you stood up for yourself. But... it was quite evident last night, that you are not quite human. I saw the blue flames. I have never seen anything like it. You were simply beautiful. If I had any breath, I would also say that you were breathtaking. I felt your delicious rage. I was...stunned by it. You are obviously a weakness for me. I should not have let you kill Lorena. I admit that my...inaction...was pathetically stupid. But it was YOUR fault. If it had been another human...this wouldn't have happened." Eric's angry tone returned.

"But I don't want to burn down my house! My family history is with that house, it means so much to me! There must be some other way! And...Omigod, Lupe! I locked her in the bathroom, she doesn't have food!" I said desperately.

"Then you can think on it... you have nothing else to do down here. But I assure you, there is no alternative. You will see the truth in what I am saying. I am leaving now... you will stay here for a few more days, until you calm down, and LEARN YOUR PLACE! Do not forget Sookie, that if I play this out in my best interest... I would just KILL YOU and be rid of you! I would simply tell the Queen that Lorena came over to the house, they would smell her scent on your property, and I would regretfully inform her that LORENA killed you, and that Sam killed her in a rage of revenge, and I had to burn the house to bury the evidence from the human law enforcement. She would believe that...Lorena is a vengeful jealous harlot. She knows Bill dislikes me, so his version of the story would be worthless. You would be dead, and I could finally be rid of your emotional turmoil that I am FORCED to FEEL! I have shown you.....GREAT MERCY Sookie. You better start to make me feel like you are worth all this trouble, that you DESERVE your life. I have had enough of your confusing nonsense. I should....just....KILL YOU. Fuck you while I'm draining you dry as you scream out in both pleasure and pain....I would enjoy that, SO MUCH..." his voice was low with lust.

Suddenly I felt the coolness of his lips on mine, and his tongue thrust into my mouth as he kissed me wildly. I was so shocked, I didn't really return the kiss, I just let him assault my mouth, but I could feel myself becoming aroused, and pulled away with shame. I didn't want any physical contact with a Vampire who just admitted it would be a good idea to kill me, no matter how sexy he happens to be.

"Here, human food." Eric said, while shoving a paper bag into my hands.

"Eric, can I at least have clothes? Or a blanket? I'm cold! I don't like this place...it reminds me...of the rapist you forced me to kill! I can't stay here!" my voice was frantic.

"You modern humans are so spoiled. You complain about everything. If you only knew what humans in the past lived through, you would think this to be WARM. And no, you do not get to have clothing or a blanket. You will not freeze in here, this is an adequate temperature for keeping humans alive. You do not get such comforts, you are not here on Vacation. I am a sheriff and this is a jail, Sookie. You are not immune to punishment. But do not worry about your Puppy. Dogs can last for days without food, she is fine. I will send Pam over tomorrow night to feed her though." he said softly. He paused before speaking again. "And know....FEEL...that you are merely inches from DEATH. I will NOT be amused if you attempt to escape."

And then I heard the door creak open and shut, and realized he was gone.

I sat in the dark for a long while, resting against the wall. I couldn't sleep. Not in here. Not after what he just told me. I opened the paper bag, and discovered a 6-pack of...something. I was thirsty, and flipped one of the tabs and discovered it was beer. I didn't really like Beer, but...it would have to do. Besides maybe it was a good thing to numb my mind a bit. The "food" he mentioned, turned out to be a bunch of chocolate bars. I sighed, at least he remembered that I ate food. I gagged as I chugged back the beer, in a desperate attempt to drown out my misery. _Boy, did I ever get myself into a shitload of trouble this time..._


	14. Chapter 14

**A note: Because there is no POV from Eric here, I'll give a recap. This is not SVM Eric, this is TRUE BLOOD Vampire Eric- a more vicious, darker Eric. If this was SVM Eric, then he would be out of character. Of course he cares about Sookie, in his own confusing way. What guy serenades a chick outside her window all night if he doesn't like her? :) But he is riding a Bi-polar roller-coaster of intense emotion he hasn't felt in a LOOOONG Time. He finds himself strangely attracted to Sookie, and wants to be her "Protector", even though he invades her life doing so- because a)He doesn't want her to be in pain, and b)he can't stand to feel HER pain. He could have easily just told her that Bill is a scumbag sent on a mission- but that was the OLD Eric. The NEW Eric after Godric's death is feeling very confused, lost, and betrayed... It would be like having your whole family kill themselves x 1000. He worshipped Godric, and thought he was a totally bad-ass awesome Vampire. His whole life, he looked up to him, wanted to be like him... and then Godric before he dies, tells him they were "wrong". What a mindfuck! He loved Godric so much he was willing to die with him. He couldn't even contemplate existence without him, and his loyalty comes first. His whole identity is crumbling! Not that he shows it... of course he wouldn't want any Vampires to see him weak on the outside. He feels Sookie is the only one he can talk to. He hasn't opened up to anyone like that, ever. And he is mighty pissed off that she still hates him. He has some warm fuzzies for Sookie, which he believes is a weakness sometimes, and at other times a welcome blessing from the pain he is in. He believes Sookie went behind his back and brushed off his oath to protect her, choosing to trust Sam instead. That was a VERY STUPID thing for Sookie to do, because Eric does not tolerate that kind of insolence... he's used to getting his way, and having humans around as playthings, so he is reverting to sheriff Eric mode, and treating her like he would treat other humans. Of course he doesn't actually want to kill Sookie...but he wants her to know that HE SHOULD HAVE killed her...because that's what his logical brain would have done, to save himself from possible punishment. He wants her to know that her stupid actions not only affect HER life, but HIS AS WELL. Yes, he's being harsh, but he wants her to see his "other side" so that she realizes how special he was treating her before (Remember...He let her STAB HIM with SILVER! That is screaming "I like you" in Vampire!), and he thinks she needs a good dose of reality...so that she will learn that it is good to stand up for yourself and kill people, but you can't just kill in a blind range...you have to use your brain, have a good plan, and know of the consequences! He is sort of treating her with care, like he would treat his Vampire child. If he brought her to bed and comforted her again, he knows she won't really "learn" from her mistake. He sees her fiery spirit and wants her to be strong and kick-ass...like a Vampire. But not an idiot Vampire! If mood-swing Sookie became a vampire- then she probably wouldn't last a year, LOL. He doesn't know how to take care of a human. That's why he had her kill the rapist. He thought he had everything under control, but Sookie royally screwed things up. He is frustrated that she doesn't seem to care for all the "special treatment" he has given her, and that she doesn't trust him and his ability to keep her safe. Her attitude both excites him, and enrages him. He believes locking her up in the dungeon in the dark is a LIGHT punishment. Remember that he brutally tore a guy apart, for killing a Vampire and hurting him with silver, which is the SAME THING that Sookie did. Eric is capable of being quite a sadistic monster. Plus he is worried for her future now. He knows that if the Queen takes her as a servant, she will lead a very miserable boring life, and he will never get to have her. And of course Sookie wants Eric...BAD...but she is just so stubborn. :) There is also a secret Eric is not telling Sookie, that explains why he cares for her...but that won't be revealed yet.**

_We were lying in a field of wildflowers, and the sun was shining brightly in a vibrant blue sky. There was the buzz of insects, and the sweet breeze of spring and new life. In the distance was a lake of deep blue, and a rolling mountain range. _

_I giggled. _

"_How come you aren't bursting into a ball of flames Eric?"_

"_I have no idea," he chuckled. "But I'm certainly not questioning it. Sookie...you look absolutely beautiful right now, with the sun bright in your hair. Just...perfect."_

"_So do you. I wish you weren't a Vampire... I can't imagine a long lifetime without the sun. I could never forget how wonderful it feels."_

"_Well, we have NOW, don't we...my little angel." he turned to kiss me. His lips were warm._

"_But you're right. Even though we have artificial sunlight now, it doesn't compare to THIS. There is so much...LIFE...here in the sun...I did somehow forget how spectacular everything is. I used to love the sight of a crisp blue sky against the mountains... In fact, I think I've been here before. This looks like a place I remember, from before."_

"_From before...you mean when you were human?"_

"_Yes. Things were different then. We spent as little time inside as possible. We knew we could never fill our dwellings with things that were more beautiful than earth and sky."_

_Eric suddenly got up, and started stripping his clothes, until he was completely naked._

"_Eric, what are you doing silly? Someone could walk by any minute!" I blushed._

_He grinned. "I doubt it. But why does it matter anyway?" He motioned with his hand, "Come."_

_He was walking backwards toward the lake, looking at me with his lusty "sex" eyes. "Join me Sookie."_

_Oh heck, how could I resist that? I threw my sundress over my head, and ran after my adorable viking. _

I woke in the dark, on the cold hard concrete, with a deep sense of shame. Why was my brain torturing me like this? These dreams...in them, I was always so...HAPPY. And...completely in love with Eric. When the harshness of reality set in, it was like a slap in the face by a cactus.

I had no idea what time it was, or how long I had been asleep. I had gulped down 5 beers, and then kind of just passed out. I think...I woke up sometime and puked...

Yep, I found the puddle of puke when I reached around me. I guess that's what happens when you drink 5 beers in 5 minutes, and then stuff your face with 6 chocolate bars. I work at Merlottes, I should have known I'd get sick! I mean, I clean puke off the floor all the time. But I was upset and angry, and...being stupid Sookie again, I just wanted it to go away. Now I have to smell my own puke for however long I'm in here...

Oh God. These could be my last waking moments. Lying on a cold floor...beside a pile of puke. This is definitely not the way I would have preferred to go.

Could Eric really KILL ME??! After all that he's done for me? I was so confused... But, I realized I was sure of one thing: I had majorly pissed him off, BIG TIME. I hadn't really thought of the consequences of asking Sam to help me. I knew Eric would probably be...really annoyed...that I sent letters to Bill...and also annoyed that I didn't tell him what I was about to do with Sam...but I didn't imagine the situation would turn out anything like this. I just loved...thought I loved Bill...and I believe you should risk your life for the one you love. I wish I had just... stayed out of it, I should have just trusted Eric to stay out of it. Then Bill would still be in his "love shack", and I wouldn't know how much be broke my heart.

I couldn't imagine burning down my house. What would my Gran think?! She would be so disappointed in me...

...But, whats the point of having a house, if you're dead?! I hated to think about it, but maybe Eric was right. Maybe burning down my house was the best thing to do in this situation. I tried to think it over, but I don't really understand Vampire laws, and I'm just a weak defenceless human. What was I thinking, taking on Lorena?! Yeah, I have to admit...sometimes it's like I don't even have a brain.

I was sooooo angry at Eric for doing this to me. I lashed out at him. Whatever happened to MY PLAN? The plan to get on Eric's good side, so that he would be the nice, gentle Eric that had wrapped his arms around me and comforted me after I was attacked by the rapist. The one who told me about his past...and his FEELINGS. The one...that was closer to the Eric of my dreams. The one that I found myself caring about, and wanting to heal his deep emotional wounds...

But all of that "nice Eric" was gone, it seemed. He went back to being a harsh cruel Vampire Sheriff. That terrified me. The stuff I saw in Lafayette's mind... sickened me to the core. Lafayette had some kind of Post Traumatic Stess Disorder, or something. When he was around me I kept seeing intense flashes of his time in this dungeon, seeing Eric ENJOY tearing a man's limbs off, and casually talking about killing Lafayette! But- I didn't think much of that, because I knew he was the guy that killed a bunch of vampires. I didn't really believe in the death penalty... but...Vampires had their own ways of doing things, so I couldn't compare Eric to other humans.

COULD HE REALLY DO THE SAME THING TO ME?!

With the smell of puke in the air, and the power of that revolting thought- imagining Eric with his angry eyes, tearing my arm off- when he looks just like the Eric I'm in love with in my dreams- I puked again, all over myself. Shit.

This was definitely THE WORST day of my life.

I shook in the still darkness, naked and cold, my arms wrapped tight around my knees as I rocked... trying to calm myself down, trying to breathe properly- but no thought that entered my head allowed me to slow my breath. This might be my last night alive. I had killed a Vampire. I was awaiting my punishment. There was no way to escape. Nobody to save me... "Please, PLEASE!" I screamed at nobody in particular, because I knew that nobody would be listening. "I'm not ready to die! I REALLY...DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!" I decided to allow myself to be hysterical. But it didn't matter. Because there wasn't anyone who could save me. Nobody who wanted to save me.

A few hours after Fangtasia opened for the evening, I heard the metal door opening. I froze, but when I scanned the mind, I immediately knew it was Ginger, and relaxed.

I heard her pull a string, and suddenly a bright light- well, bright to my eyes at least- lit up the horror of the room I was in.

Ginger was carrying a couple of bags with her, and she bent down on her knees and smiled at me.

"Hi there! Oh, sweetie, looks like you are sick! I'll clean that up right away."

I didn't say anything.

"Hey, you look familiar. But I can't remember for the life of me where I seen you. Were you in the Monroe baptist choir?"

I shook my head.

"No? Huh. Oh! I know! You were at my pole dancing aerobics class!"

I shook my head again. Damn, Ginger was so annoying.

"Well, I gotta say, you don't' gotta be scared of The Master. The Master is actually very nice, and I love working for him. He really likes you, you know. Usually I'm told to just throw bread and water down here! But he had me go all the way to some bar called Merlottes, to get all this stuff for you."

I thought the food smelled familiar...

"But I don't like the owner, The Master also had a letter for him, and that Sam guy was real bitchy to me when I gave it to him. He looked familiar too, come to think of it... Did you attend a swingers party together?!"

I shook my head.

"Well, Master said I was to tell that Sam guy to write you a letter too, that's in one of the bags. He ain't done anything like that, for no one else, either! So he sure likes you. Maybe he'll even let you work in the bar!"

"How the fuck would you know Ginger? Your mind is so warped from all the Glamouring, I'm surprised you can still tell your asshole from your mouth!"

She looked at me with shock. Just then the door creaked open, and an angry booming Eric voice shouted, "GINGER! Upstairs, NOW, you useless wench!"

"Yes Master!" she replied, and scurried up the stairs as fast as she could.

I was looking through the two large bags of food: nachos, fried shrimp, burger, chicken fried steak...

Hmm...it looked like the ENTIRE Merlottes menu was in here! My stomach growled.

I started opening Sam's letter when I heard the door open again. Ginger ran down the stairs with a mop and bucket...and a blanket. It was MY blanket. The one my Gran had made, that I loved to snuggle in when I was sad.

I glared at her as she cleaned up my mess.

She grinned crazily again. "I know! You're the girl who does my brazillian wax! You're the best, you strip it off fast so it barely hurts my sensitive-"

"GINGER!" Eric Roared. "Return upstairs, NOW!"

"Yes Master!" she sprang up and almost tripped on the stairs, she was running so fast.

I was hoping she didn't come back here. I would rather be ALONE than having Ginger pester me on what could be...my final days of life.

I opened Sams letter.

_My Dear Sookie,_

_I am so sorry for how things turned out. I didn't know this Lorena was THAT crazy. I shouldn't have let you schedule this meeting, I had a really bad feeling about it. But knowing you, how persistent you are, I realized if I said I wouldn't' help you do this foolish thing, you'd go right on and do it anyway, without me. Even though I detest him, I'm glad Eric was there to save you, to give you his blood. Otherwise, I think you would have died, sweetheart. I was both shocked and amazed at what you did to Lorena. That bitch did deserve to die, and I know that you thought you were doing the right thing by killing her. Don't feel at all guilty for killing her Sookie, remember that. You didn't know how complicated Vampire laws are. I know you thought you were doing it in self defence, just like you did with Rene. Things may get real tough for you, so you need all the strength you can conjure up. Believe in yourself, Sookie. Stay strong and brave. We'll fight through this mess you're in. I'm not sure you want to read this part, but Bill appears heartbroken over you. I told him to fuck off, but he keeps phoning me asking if there is any news about you. He says he loves you, literally to death. He says he will prove his love by meeting the sun if something bad happens to you. He says he will try and convince the Queen to punish HIM instead. I don't know if I believe that- After all, he lied to you Sookie. I wish I could be there right now to hold you, but Eric refuses to allow anyone to see you. I included the letter he sent me, so you can see just how much of an asshole he really is. You can't trust Eric. He doesn't care about you, he'll only do whats best for himself. Always remember that._

_Love, Sam_

I looked at the other letter that was in the envelope. It was written in an elegant script, ever letter perfectly formed.

_Shifter,_

_Do you not recall the time when you agreed to owe me a hypothetical favor? I request that favour now. That favour is to stay away from Sookie. You obviously do not have the mental capacity to care for her properly. You were an idiot to think you could shift into MY lion (yes I know you have been sneaking around on my property) and keep her safe from Lorena. This is all your fault. You are to never speak to Sookie again. If I can negotiate things properly, and she is released into my care in Shreveport, I will not allow you to see her or talk to her. You are no longer important in her life, she does not need your interference. She is much better off, without you.  
_

_E. _


	15. Chapter 15

A/N I apologize to everyone following this story- I meant to continue this story earlier, but sometimes I'm a huge procrastinator. I love all of the reviews and encouragement! I'm glad so many people are enjoying it.

Hm, so far my story only resembles TB s3 in that: Sookie and Tara get into a fight after tequila recommended by Lafayette, a creepy guy appears outside Merlottes looking for Sookie, and Eric starts hanging around Sookie's housing and says that he owes her. So, SOME of it is sort of on track, LOL. I hope the scene with Bill igniting Lorena was not a "fantasy sequence". So far, season 3 is off to a great start!

The previous night I sat on the cold floor and totally gorged myself on the greasy Merlottes food. It was familiar and made me feel safe. I could pretend for short moments that I was just on break, and not stuck in a Vampire dungeoun. Hell, there's no point in watching your weight if you could be dead in a couple days, is there? As far as last meals go, I probably wouldn't want anything else anyhow. Well, except my Grans home cooking.

I spent another day or so in the dungeon without any word from anyone. Most of the time, I tried to sleep, when I could. But it seemed to be for only brief moments. If I wasn't having another Eric-sex-dream, I was haunted by nightmares.

In one of them, _Bill and I were cuddling on the couch, talking about our wedding plans. We couldn't legally get married in Bon Temps, but we decided we'd still have a reception party. He told me that I was completely free to choose whatever kind of party I wanted, because he loved me and money was no barrier. I felt happy. I was looking at brochures from catering companies, and florists. Then, Bill turned to me, and said "Hey Sookie, have you ever seen my true face?" I answered, "I'm not sure what you mean, Bill." He then placed his fingers on either side of his head, and began peeling back the skin, until his whole face was removed. He was now a smiling skeleton, with bulging wild eyes, and black tendrils winding around the caverns of his skull. His fangs were down, and he was laughing hysterically. I saw myself scream in the reflection of his dark eyes._

I woke when a cool hand brushed against my cheek. I flinched, and backed away. The light was now on, casting deep shadows onto Eric's face, causing him to look more like a statue than a living being, as he looked at me with cold unblinking eyes. I turned and looked at the floor, pulling the blanket tighter around my body.

"Sookie. Have you used this time wisely, to think about your situation? Or are you still pouting like a child?" he finally said.

I glared at him.

"It's your choice. Either you agree to burn down your house, or you agree to leave your house intact and allow an investigation to take place, with the consequences of this investigation being highly...unfavourable, to say the least. You must decide NOW, or I will decide for you. Choosing to not make a choice, is a choice in itself."

"Hold on, I'm going to decide...I just..need to wake up and clear my head first!"

"There isn't much time. IF we are to burn the house, it must be done NOW. Lorena had ongoing contact with the Queen's people, and her absence has already been noted, rumour tells me. Bill has agreed to not speak to the Queen for now. He is being carefully guarded, but I cannot prevent him from telling his own story if he is asked to do so. He does not want to endanger your life. He agrees that burning your house is the best option. But I wouldn't put it past him to make a deal with the Queen to hold me responsible and punished for the death of Lorena. He would gladly take any opportunity to have me out of this picture."

I sighed. "Okay, okay. I get it. The house has got to go! It's just... isn't not easy, Eric. I know it's the right choice, but, its like a part of me...it will be like cutting off a limb. Can I take some things, before you burn it down...please?"

Eric smiled. "You may, take a few keepsakes. No furniture, nothing that can't be carried. I will not burn it down for you though. I will let you light the torch."

"Are you expecting me to be thankful for that? I'm still mighty mad at you Eric! What did Lorena mean when you said you and her had a contract?" I said with irritation.

"We had a contract... meaning, I allowed her freedom to move throughout my territory, and gave my word that you would not interfere in her...'personal life'..." Eric stated.

"You KNEW? You KNEW where she was, and that she was keeping Bill the whole time? And what was the other part of the contract, just how did you benefit from that?"

"Yes, I knew. I tried to tell you that you and Bill could no longer be together. In return, she was to keep Bill on a short leash, and ensure that he never contacted you again. Sookie, I also knew what a devious scumbag Bill really was... that he seduced you on a mission. I knew he did not really love you. He was not just on a mission, he was planning on taking you away from Bon Temps. It was a practical arrangement that benefited everyone. Otherwise, the Queen may have even killed Bill without my interference anyway...he was not on her...good list, anymore. It would have worked out perfectly, if only you weren't such a stubborn, scheming, bitch, that is." Eric said with a slight smile.

"So this is all YOUR FAULT." I said coldly. "You were keeping things from me. If only you told me, what you knew of Bill, and what the dangers really were...then we wouldn't be in this situation! I'm tired of everyone treating me like a dumb child! I can think for myself! Goddamnit, fucking Vampires!" I yelled.

"Sookie, believe me, I had every intention of revealing Bill's nasty secret. You would have required comforting, and you would have fallen right into my arms, exactly where I want you to be. But... things changed. You were hurt in a violent attack. You needed time to heal. Your psyche was fragile. To reveal this information to you while you were in this state would be, irresponsible."

"You high-handed bastard. I would have preferred that to what actually happened. And who are you to tell Sam he is no longer allowed to see me? Who is this Queen, how does she know about me, and what does she want me to do?" I asked, suddenly worried.

"You don't need to know those details right now. No, I'm not being high handed, we really must be moving on." Eric said, unfastening my shackles.

"Here, clothing," he said, and tossed a low cut red dress at me, and stared.

"Turn around, will you?" I said, annoyed.

"If it suits you. But I don't see why, I've already seen everything."

He lead me up the stairs, and started leading me out of the club.

"Can I at least, wash up for a second? Use a real toilet?"

"Alright, you have only two minutes Sookie. You better hurry."

I ran into the Lady's room, to the sink, and splashed cold water on my face. I looked like Hell. Dark circles under my eyes, my eyes swollen red, and my hair was knotted, and still had remnants of puke stuck to it. If I was anywhere else but Fangtasia, I would have been embarrassed to be seen like that.

As I exited, I bumped into Pam, who was leering at me.

"Sookie, the slayer. How nice to see you. I hope you enjoyed your stay with us. Let's hope you never have to stay with us again. You better listen to Eric, this time. He's far too lenient with you, you know. My punishment would have been much more...invasive." Pam smiled.

I pushed passed Pam and walked out the back entrance with Eric. He bent down and put his arms around me.

"Hold on tight." he said.

"Wha- Ahhhhhhh!" I yelped, as I was suddenly flying through the air at a dizzying speed. This time I had the sense to keep my eyes closed.

About 10 minutes later, we landed in my front yard. I was goose-bumpy and disoriented and didn't want to imagine what my hair looked like. Eric gently lifted me to the ground, and walked me to the porch.

"Quick, now. Only a couple things, you'll be flying remember." He said softly.

I crept inside the house, already dismayed at the condition it was in. The whole first floor had been trashed. And it already looked horrendous after the Marryanne incident. I remember some furniture flying around before I passed out...but it looked like after that, there was some kind of major fight between Eric, Bill, and Sam. There were splatters of blood everywhere amongst the debris.

I ran upstairs, and grabbed a photo of Tara, Gran and I. I didn't know what else to take. There were so many things I cherished of Grans... I decided to open my bedroom window, and started throwing out what I could grab on the dresser, as far as I could. Maybe there was a chance they wouldn't get burnt.

"Sookie! Out, NOW!" Eric growled, glaring at me beneath the window.

"Alright, alright, hold your horses!" I said, deciding to grab a golden locked, and ring, that had been in my family for a few generations, and rushed back downstairs.

Eric met me at the doorway, carrying an ignited torch.

"Here. The house has already been doused with fuel in strategic spots. It will go quickly. Old houses burn easily, no one will suspect anything when it has been reduced to cinders."

"Okay. Well, I don't know where to light it. You do it!"

"No. This is your responsibility. You are capable of making that choice." Eric said gently, touching my shoulder, as he handed me the torch.

My eyes began to moisten. What would I tell Jason? Or Tara? That house meant to much to them, too. I held my breath, swung my arm backwards, and threw the torch as far into the house as I could.

The torch landed in a pile of broken furniture near the far wall, and began to spread across the floor.

Eric looked at me, nodded, and took my hand, leading me away from the fire. We stood and watched for a moment. Eric was silent.

We watched as the second floor began to glow, and the flames spread through my bedroom, and out the window. The tears were now running down my face. I tried to hold back and be strong, but I couldn't. Soon the roof was ablaze, and the night flickered with hot orange light, and pillars of dark smoke rose from the air, sending a gust of cinders dancing.

Suddenly, Eric growled and turned sharply towards the woods, sniffing the air. "Don't move, Sookie, and keep quiet!" He whispered.

He stood alert, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly open with his fangs down. There was a rustle of leaves and the sound of footsteps. The silhouette of a figure appeared in the shadows of the woods.

"Well, my my, this is certainly interesting," a female voice said.

"Your majesty", Eric said, bowing slightly.

"Smart move, Northman. This is what we should have done in the first place. It would have been far easier to take her if everyone believed she died in a fire. I should have entrusted you with the task, instead of Compton. You are far more cunning than he. But, what can I say? I love a good romance story. It's too bad we had to abandon the script. But, this works in a pinch, I suppose."

She smiled, and walked slowly towards me.

"So this is THE Sookie Stackhouse? Funny, you're not nearly as pretty as Compton described you to be, but nevermind that. I have been just _dying_ to meet you!"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Decided to tweak the plot a little bit to fit in with s3.**

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* * *

**

"Well, my my, this is certainly interesting," a female voice said.

"Your majesty", Eric said, bowing slightly.

"Smart move, Northman. This is what we should have done in the first place. It would have been far easier to take her if everyone believed she died in a fire. I should have entrusted you with the task, instead of Compton. You are far more cunning than he. But, what can I say? I love a good romance story. It's too bad we had to abandon the script. But, this works in a pinch, I suppose."

She smiled, and walked slowly towards me.

"So this is THE Sookie Stackhouse? Funny, you're not nearly as pretty as Compton described you to be, but nevermind that. I have been just dying to meet you!"

* * *

So this was "The Queen."

For some reason I was expecting someone older, because whenever I think of Queen its Queen Victoria or Queen Elizabeth so I was sorta imagining a regal looking plump 50 year old woman. But this Queen looked like she could be younger than me, and she was definitely not regal. She was dressed in a form fitted maroon silk dress, that ended just above her ankles, white lace gloves, and a string of pearls. Her auburn hair was curled, and she wore lots of makeup and a dark red lipstick.

I didn't know what to say. Hadn't she just insulted me? But I knew I had to be polite, because pissing her off would probably make things a hell of a lot worse. Plus, I was extremely embarrassed meeting a Queen looking like a homeless hooker- even if it was a Queen I knew I wouldn't like.

I curtseyed.

"Your majesty, it is an honour to meet you." I said meekly.

The queen clapped her hands and grinned, looking over to Eric.

"Oh, isn't she just adorable? She's going to be so much fun!" she said with glee.

Eric was still slightly sneering. "Your majesty, if I may be so bold to enquire, what were your intentions coming here to Bon Temps tonight?"

"Yes, I bet you're wondering about that! You thought you were being so clever, didn't you. I had your little bar bugged. I heard of your plans, and wanted to share in this little moment myself, so I've been in the area."

"You're majesty, I can explain, I only-" Eric said in haste, before being interrupted by The Queen, grabbing his hair, covering his mouth, hissing at him.

"Look Northman, you're wrong if you think I give a damn about the fact that you covered up Lorena's death. You're a valued member of my kingdom, it wouldn't do me any good if you were punished by the Magister and locked away. I would have approved of a creative story. I was getting sick of that psychotic wench anyway. Plus, we're too busy to be concerned with that right now. What I DO NOT approve of, is you lying to me in any situation or context whatsoever! You should have informed me IMMEDIATELY! Your actions reflect on my ability to run my kingdom! Any more subversive activity and I guarantee I WILL find the time to punish you! UNDERSTAND?" She let go of his hair, and placed her hands on either side of his face, looking up at him fiercely.

I was beginning to get very anxious, and swallowed hard.

Eric was still slightly sneering. "Yes, of course, your majesty."

She backed away, and started walking slowly in a circle, smiling.

"Good, well then, I'm sure you're very relieved to finally be rid of her. She's a fiesty kitten, isn't she? My, it must be so very annoying to be constantly forced to feel her silly emotions. You did a good job keeping an eye on her, despite your little disobedience. I would have understood if you had just drained her dry- but I would have still had to punish you. I would have killed Lorena myself if she had killed the girl. Do you have any idea what this girl is WORTH?"

"I have an idea.," Eric said solemnly, looking over at me.

"We're talking in the range of 100 million or more! Sure it would have been fun to have my own personal telepath, but it's even more fun to have a large supply of cash," The Queen grinned.

"What, you mean you're going to sell her?" Eric said, looking astonished.

"Of course. I was planning on using her services in expanding my kingdom, but- it's not a kingdom if I lose the palace to the IRS, is it? Not right away, mind you- She's in far too rough shape. She needs to be trained, educated, and polished first. Just look at her- she's absolutely pitiful, she wouldn't fetch such a good price as she is. Can she even read? Set a table? And most important of all- please a woman? It will be a little while before we can successfully beat the backwoods out of her," she said with a sigh.

My anger was pretty much boiling at this point. I had a string of curses I really wanted to throw at this woman, but I pursed my lips and kept my eyes downward. I glanced upwards briefly to look at Eric. He had seem genuinely surprised at the Queens appearance. I was praying that he simply wouldn't hand me over to this woman.

Eric cleared his throat and replied.

"She is not completely... incompetent. She has some skills. But I agree, she is not fit for the market. She is also impudent and unpredictable. May I suggest, in repayment for my dishonesty, that I take this task on myself. I know her behaviours and because we are linked by blood, I would be more equipped to train and discipline her appropriately and efficiently." Eric said, matter of factly.

Eric appeared confident, and yet his eyes seemed to convey an inner turmoil. I caught his eye briefly, and hoped he understood the desperation that I was trying to communicate.

"And why would you want to do that, Northman? I hoped you're not getting attached to this silly little thing, are you? Lets be reasonable. Where would you keep her? And how would you keep her from contacting her friends, and the human law enforcement? You're too busy to keep an eye on her. Besides, I don't trust your judgements OR methods. I see the way Pam walks all over you. You just don't have... the firm hand that's required." The Queen said, winking at me.

My heart sank. For a moment, I had some hope that I would be left with Eric. Now, I was feeling more of the terror I should have felt.

Eric growled softly, took a deep breath, and said: "Indeed, I may have developed a mild fondness for this human. She amuses me. If she were not yours, I would have taken her for myself. She would be a good employee, and plaything. However, I was thinking of you. I know that if she is removed from her friends, and does not get her way, she will begin to sulk and will become highly uncooperative. It would take you twice as long to prepare her. I am assuming, that time is of the essence? "

The Queen stepped in front of me.

"True. The sooner we get this done, the better."

She took my chin in her hand and lifted my eyes up to meet hers.

I looked past her at my house, which was now completely ablaze. I could really feel the heat coming at me now. Sweat began to drip from my forehead, and the smoke that filled the air made my lungs feel heavy.

"Girl, are you going to be trouble for me?" she asked sweetly.

I wasn't sure how to respond. In fact- I wasn't really thinking at all, I was too angry, so my sense left me again. Maybe I was thinkin', if these were my last minutes of freedom, why go down without a fight? I moved her hand away.

"Don't you DARE touch me. If you think you're going to dress me like a doll, beat me into submission, and then try to sell me like a prized heifer- well, you've got another thing coming! I'm not just going to hand over my life to anybody, I don't care WHO you are! My life is MY OWN, and I will never agree to selling myself. You won't get away with this! Besides, if we don't get a move on away from here, I'm going to be about as useless as a baked potato!"

I then doubled over in a coughing fit. My throat was feeling raw.

She had been watching me with no change in expression, and then laughed.

"I do see what you mean. She IS amusing."

Eric was glaring at me. He came toward me and held my hand, speaking to me in a low voice. He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Sookie, I have tolerated your disrespectful behaviour, but I STRONGLY suggest you refrain from addressing the Queen in this manner. I can tell you are... very angry and confused, which is understandable because you have barely been out of Bon Temps. But your fate has been decided- it does you no good to struggle against it. Now, would it perhaps be more comfortable for you, if I were to visit the palace on an ongoing basis, to...ease your adjustment? Would you feel safer if I was there with you? I would see to it, that you are treated well." He said, staring at me intently.

"Yeah...I guess...if that's the only option.." I mumbled in defeat.

I wondered if Eric was suggesting this for completely selfish reasons to suck up to his Queen, or if he genuinely wanted to help me. I couldn't be sure of either. But I knew that this was not the time to piss of Eric, if there was any chance of him being on my side.

Eric smiled. "See, she will fare far better in my presence. Let me accompany her, and take on the responsibilities of her care. Pam is quite capable of taking on the duties of the bar. I will still have time to address the issues as Sheriff of area 5."

The Queen approached Eric, thoughtfully.

"No. You are needed here as Sheriff. What with The Fellowship of the sun recruitment on the rise, and the weres warring with each other, the area is at present quite volatile. I can't afford to have you missing in case of an emergency. However, you may visit the palace twice a week, and see to it that she learns her place. If you can successfully transform her within two months, I will forgive your transgressions. Besides, she won't be alone. She'll have Compton, and her kin."

I shuddered at the thought of seeing Bill again, after knowing that he was the one that got me into this mess in the first place. And what did she mean by Kin?

Eric bowed his head. "I accept this arrangement, your Majesty."

I really hated the way the were talking about me- it took all of my willpower to keep my mouth shut again. But what could I do? There was no way I could avoid being taken. If I screamed, nobody would hear me. Even if someone came- I doubt that someone would be willing and able to overpower two vampires.

"Good. Now go find a suitable human to stand in for her body. We must have everyone believe she has died."

Oh no. I couldn't bear the thought of my friends, and Jason, believing I had died such a horrible death. I would rather that I just disappear without a trace. Plus, if they thought I was dead, of course there wouldn't be anybody looking for me!

"Your majesty, I don't know if I could find a body at this hour, perhaps I could-"

The Queen snarled.

"Northman! I don't care HOW or WHERE you get a body! Just DO IT, as soon as possible! You should be absolutely grateful that you have full permission to kill a human! I can't see any reason why that should be a PROBLEM for you! You're not trying to MAINSTREAM, are you?"

"No, of course not. It will be done. You have my word." Eric replied with a nod.

"Good. My people will be in touch. If there is any trouble with the human law enforcement, such as them trying to using DNA nonsense, then you are to contact me IMMEDIATELY. You are to make sure that her death certificate is issued promptly."

"Yes, there will be no trouble." He turned to look at me, thoughtfully. "Goodbye, Sookie. I will see you soon. Be Good." He tried to smile, but his eyes looked hurt. He quickly looked away from me, sheepishly. But for a moment, I felt a cold wave ripple through me, of what I could only imagine to be his emotions. I barely had time to process it- It seemed to be a mixture of shame, regret, and despair... but also something else. A warm, slow feeling of pulsing light.

The Queen turned to me, and grabbed my arm, smiling politely. She led me past the cemetery, over to the back of Bill's house where an antique Rolls Royce car was parked. A man wearing a tailored suit and sunglasses (Sunglasses at night? ...Why?) swiftly exited the drivers side and opened the back door. Inside there were two sets of seats, facing each other.

The Queen took my arm and motioned for me to sit in the back seat, and she sat across from me. As the car pulled away, she had one eyebrow raised and was staring at me intently, without blinking. Creepy.

"Oh, so it is true, you can't read Vampire minds!" she said finally. "If you could, you would have at least squirmed at the thoughts I just had- where I just undressed you, ravished you, and then ripped your throat out smearing your delicious blood all over my naked breasts."

I was squirming now.

"Um, no Mam, I can't read Vampire minds, only humans," I said nervously.

"Well, that's a good thing. Can't have you privy to my secrets, doll. What size are you?"

"Ah, excuse me?" I asked, confused.

"Your dress size! Don't you know your dress size?" she said with annoyance.

"Um, I'm a size 8 your majesty.."

"Splendid! With your skin tone, you would look absolutely darling in fuchsia! I have the PERFECT outfit for you! Oh, and can you sing?"

I knew this was going to be a long car ride. I was NOT looking forward to it.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks to the new subscribes and reviewers! :)**

**And for those who were wondering what I meant when I said I tweaked the story to fit with s3- I only decided to include the part where the Queen was bugging Fangtasia. My version was going to have one of the guards responsible for keeping Bill tell the Queen, but- this way was just easier, and got to the main plot sooner. :) The rest of this doesn't really fit with s3, so I doubt there will be other similarities. **

* * *

Well, if I started thinkin about how bad things were, and how bad they were gonna get- I wouldn't be able to hold it togther. So I decided I might as well try to stay positive, and remember: At least I'm not dead.

I've been through so many crazy situations in the last year, I mean SOMEBODY must be watching over me.

It seems so distant now, that time before I met any Vampires, when the only problems old Sookie had to worry about was making sure she had a good tan, how to ignore the occaisionaly nasty thoughts concerning her Merlotte's uniform, and making sure Jason didn't get drunk and knock up an underage stripper.

I wish I had not met Bill Compton.

I wish I would have had the sense to avoid Vampires, like everyone else did. Then I would still have my Gran, my house, and a bitchy Vampire Queen would't be kidnapping me, and everyone I cared about wouldn't believe I was dead.

(...But then again... If I hadn't met any Vampires, maybe Marryanne would have ended up killin' the whole entire town anyway, in some brutal psyopathic orgy.)

The Vampire Queen, who later told me to call her Queen Sophie- just wouldn't shut up. The car ride to the airport seemed to take FOREVER, although I think it was only a couple of hours.

She kept goin on about having the best violinist in her menagerie, how many times she has appeared in fashion magazines, and how she believes abolishing slavery was downright wrong and bad for the economy. She also hated men, and had some kind of philosiphy about how in the future only women would be able to hold political power, because men are too fixated on their genitals, and lacked "the joie de vivre".

I tried to tune her out, and just smiled politely and nodded when I thought she was looking for approval. If she was human, she would have been locked up in a padded room.

Also, she creepily kept eyein' my cleavage. I didn't need to know how to read minds to figure out what she was thinking. Gross. I think I'd rather make out with a dead donkey's arse.

We arrived at a small airport, where we boarded a small jet. We were met by another 3 large Vampires wearing suits and sunglasses, who accompanied us onto the flight. Thankfully, at this point she began to ignore me, and focused more of her attention on the blonde pixie haired stewardess that brought her glasses of blood. At one point the stewardess straddled Queen Sophie's lap and they were just makin' out in front of me, and fondling each other. Jeez! They were actin' like horny 14 year old boys, it was definitely not the kind of behaviour I'd imagine for a Queen.

I was so lethargic and overwhelmed, but I was in the kinda state where it's impossible to take a nap. I looked out the window, and watched the stars, and tried not to think or remember, and hear the moaning from the seat across from me. This was only the second time I had been on an airplane, but it was impossible to enjoy the experience.

In about an hour, we reached a private airstrip in New Orleans, and the Queen once again grabbed me by the arm and led me into the backseat of a silver antique car with large wheels that I'd never seen before. This time she sat in the seat beside me, and kept petting my hair and smelling me, while she talked on her cell. Sooooo Creepy.

We pulled into a large compound, with an extravagant type of fountain sculpture of nudes you'd see in Italy, surrounded by a series of shallow pools. One of the suited lackeys opened the door for us, into a parlour that looked more like a museum.

The ceilings were high, and the room was divided by 4 large columns, and it all appeared to be made of a bluish marble. There was a seating area featuring intricately carved furniture made from some kind of deep red wood, with silk cushions and trimmings in golden and reddish patterns. The corners showcased large statues of nude females, and there were various platforms which featured art from different parts of the world. I didn't recognize a lot of it, but some seemed Egyptian, Greek, and the others were vases from which I believed to be Japan. I mean, I'm no art expert, I was only going by what I'd seen in the National Geographic that Gran had always subscribed to every year. If I had arrived there under difference circumstances, I probably would of been mighty impressed.

She led me through a large set of metal doors, which had gold leaf inlays of lions, ivy, and phoenixes, into a hallway; and then into a door that opened into a very strange room that was made to look like a beach-house in the daytime, with a small pool. There was even sounds of waves and seagulls coming from a speaker system.

There were two Vampires (I assumed they were Vampires, based on them being really pale and all), one male and one female, lounging in beach chairs beside the pool, wearing sunglasses and swimming suits, and holding metallic tanning reflectors in their laps. As soon as they heard Queen Sophie enter, they perked up and sat up straight.

"Shia! Felix!" The Queen said shrilly. "I need you! NOW!"

"Yes your majesty?" cooed the Female Vampire, as she rose and walked toward the Queen. She had thin, aquiline facial features, a slim frame, large eyes, and her dark hair was styled in a 20's bob with bangs. She was wearing an alligator skin bikini.

"This is my new Pet! Her name is Sookie. I don't really like her name, so I'll probably end up changing it anyway. Do you think she looks like a Daphne? Anyway, call her whatever you want, for now! She is your responsibility for the time being. She needs to be bathed, clothed, and then given a room." said The Queen. I rolled my eyes, but she didn't notice.

"Where shall I put her?" Shia said, while looking at her nails.

"Oh! Didn't somebody accidentally get a little bit too frisky and kill Cynthia last week? Just put her in her old room. And remember, she isn't for feeding. She must be kept in prime condition. If you must, take a few bites here and there, but just don't leave any marks that could be visible. Make sure to wash her hair thoroughly, I think she may have lice, and who knows what- we practically found her in the swamps!" she said, dramatically.

"As you wish, my Queen," said the female Vampire.

Queen Sophie then turned to the male Vampire.

"Felix, as you so obviously have a superior fashion sense, you will be responsible for the girls wardrobe. She's a size 8. She needs the standard lingerie, plus a selection of formal ware, because we are presenting her to an international audience. I expect quality for this one. Shia, alligator prints went out in the 80's, you clearly have no proclivity for modern aesthetics. Get rid of that. NOW!" she growled.

Felix had a young face of perhaps 16, with full lips and sensual blue eyes, that stood out in contrast to his almost white shoulder length wispy hair, and pale skin. He was wearing a black spedo.

Shia sighed, and began removing her bikini. Felix snorted, and grinned wily.

"I spend so much time trying to enlighten my subjects, but still they retain the uncouth vision of the imbecile. Why do I even bother?" the Queen huffed, turned, and exited the room.

Shia cursed under her breath, and slinked towards me, taking my hand, and leading me toward the opposite exit. Felix trailed behind us. I wasn't going to bother with any polite formalities. I knew I needed to suck up to the Queen in order to live, but there was no way I was going to suck up to her groupies. I remained silent.

We exited that building, onto a balcony and down a staircase that led to a garden, full of clusters of red roses and trimmed hedges. The night was lit with pillars of blue flame. There was a path, with marble stepping stones, that led to another compound, with bars on all the windows, I noticed. Two guards stood by the entrance-way. It was a simple rectangle, with one floor, constructed with the same bluish marble blocks.

The guards nodded and opened the large, thick, metallic doors. We walked three quarters of the way down before stopping. From one of the doors, I heard a females frantic screaming and moaning. I couldn't tell if someone was being murdered, or receiving the best pleasure of their life.

Felix stepped in front of us, and opened the door, then closed it behind us.

Inside was a large room, with a wrought iron four poster bed draped in deep purple and silver shimmering silks. The walls were light wooden panels with intricately designed mouldings of leaf and ivy patterns. The furniture, a large dresser, wardrobe, and nightstand, were painted white with silver inlays. Again, I would have been impressed, had I not been kidnapped by a Vampire Queen.

Shia led me to an adjoining bathroom suite, and then pressed me close to her, lightly sniffing the skin just below my ear.

The bathroom was a grey marble, and had a toilet, sink, and a larger section with a white claw-foot tub. There was a window above the tub, but like all the rest of them, it had thick metal bars.

"My, My...," she murmured, "You smell...absolutely...delectable.. there's something different about you. Too bad I just ate," Shia purred.

"Don't you DARE talk to me that way, Missy! You will NOT be getting a bite out of me anytime soon, or I swear I will stake you myself!" I replied, flustered.

She merely laughed briefly, and swiftly removed the red dress that I had been wearing, over my head.

I tried to protest to her being in the same room as me when I took my bath, but she insisted on being there, and washing my hair for me. I sat in the tub with my arms crossed over my breasts. At least the shampoo in the room was a pleasant vanilla raspberry. But Shia worked my hair aggressively, and pulled it far too many times when she began to comb it out. I have to admit though, my hair musta been a mess after spendin' time in Eric's dungeon. It was practically a rat's nest. Still. She could have been more gentle. I knew I hated her already. She seemed to gasp with delight every time I responded with a loud "Ouch!Watch it!"

When she was finished, she offered me a towel and a robe, but not before groping me and practically drooling down my neck as she handed it to me.

"Until next time, sweet little honey-bunch," Shia said with a wink, as she opened the door and exited my room. After I heard her walk down the hallway, I immediately tried to open the door, to find that it had been locked- which i can't say was really a surprise.

I curled up in the Queen size bed, not bothering to turn out the light (having the lights out in a Vampire compound just made it more creepy!) and discovered that it was very comfy with silky fluffy pillows. Almost immediately, I surrendered to sleep.

_I was curled up in my favourite blanket, with my arms wrapped around Erics neck, leaning on his bare chest. I absent-mindedly stroked his hair. _

_On the TV was my favourite movie: Gone with The Wind. Eric had not seen it before, and he considered it more of a comedy, than a romance. _

_"This is a completely ridiculous, inaccurate film Sookie," he said mockingly, "You think this is hardship? But now I see where you get some of your crazy ideas. That annoying pretentious wench is a terrible role model for you. I would have slapped her ages ago."_

_I laughed, and playfully slapped him on the cheek. _

"_Just sit back and enjoy it, will yah? It's not supposed to be accurate, it's supposed to be romantic. And I don't act like Scarlett! I just have a mind of my own, which is perfectly fine for a woman in the 21's century!"_

"_Are you sure? I can see the similarities. You settled for Bill, when you knew you wanted me, the handsome rogue, all along,..." he said, playfully. _

"_You're such a devil! Of course I wanted you. You are...unbelievably sexy...I couldn't...help it.." I said as I began to kiss and nibble at his neck, just below his Adam's apple._

"_But you can't blame me," I continued. "You can't just go runnin' straight for the bad boy, I'm not THAT kinda girl. Besides, you liked me playin' hard to get, didn't you Eric?" I whispered._

"_Indeed, I did. Very much so. You brought out the hunter in me..." Eric said seductively, as he postioned himself over me and captured me in a heated kiss..._

I woke with a gasp, my heart beating deep in my chest. A cool hand was stroking my cheek.

I quickly turned my head to the right, to find Eric lying next to me.

"I don't have much time before dawn, Sookie-" he whispered, his eyes wide and rimmed with red. "I just wanted you to know...wanted you to understand... this isn't what you deserve, this isn't what I wanted for you. I should have...should have hidden you when I had the chance...I'm so sorry Sookie, I should have..." Eric said, his voice wavering.

I felt the deep connection to him as I did for brief moments, before. I knew he was telling the truth.

"I know, I know... you only ever wanted to keep me safe..." I responded, as I placed my hand on his cheek.

He gazed into my eyes and smiled slightly. "You are so very precious. Don't believe for a moment that you are something that can be sold... I will find a way to get you out of this, I-"

I trailed my fingers over the curve of his lips. "I believe you. I should have always believed in you. But right now- I just...need you..." I said in a sleepy state of delirium.

With my other hand I grabbed his hair, and pulled him closer. He recognized my desire and pressed his lips forcefully against mine, manoeuvring to position himself on-top of me.

I ran my hands down his back, and up to grasp his muscular shoulders as our kiss grew more passionate.

I didn't care that a small part of me still thought that it was wrong. I needed him. I was consumed by my need for him. I wanted to pretend that he was the dream-Eric I always took comfort in.

He pressed his erect cock against my midsection and I moaned deeply, shifting my body so that I would feel the friction on my clit as I bucked my hips towards him.

He growled and began to nibble at my neck as he thrust towards my hips. I scratched at his t-shirt, and began to pull it off. I needed to feel his naked skin against my aroused nipples.

He pulled his t-shirt over his head, and wrapped his arms around me, bringing me closer. I arched my back as he nibbled my ear and brushed against my breasts. His tongue sucked on my earlobe, and his hand began stroking and squeezing my sensitive mounds.

I bit his neck, and he gasped as I grabbed his raging hard cock firmly in my hand and began to stroke it through his jeans. I found the zipper, and felt desperate to let it loose.

Eric swiftly had his jeans vanish with his vampire speed, and I felt his thick pulsing dick pressed against my now slick pussy.

"Mmmmm..." Eric groaned, with feral intensity, and I claimed his mouth again.

"Oh God Eric, Need you...inside of me...so deep inside of me..." I sighed, as he swirled his cock around my pussy, leaking streams of musky pre-cum that scented the air, and made me absolutely desperate for him.

I pushed him away from me, and moved beneath him, to take his cock in my mouth. He was so thick he stretched my lips. I needed to taste him. He was salty and earthy, and I felt as though I couldn't get enough of it. I loved the silky texture of his thick uncut shaft, and sucked deeply while working my tongue around his foreskin. He simultaneously reached over, and started penetrating me with his fingers. He thrust his cock lightly downward as I sucked, and he growled deep within his chest.

My pussy trembled with the need to have him inside me. I licked the remaining cum, and positioned myself underneath him again.

"MMM...Ohhh...Fuck me Eric, I need you to fuck me Eric..." I whimpered.

Eric groaned, his eyes directed at mine, as he placed the tip of his cock inside me.

"Oh, Sookie, yes..." he responded, as he slowly lowered himself inside me, inch by inch, while assaulting my mouth with his tongue. I felt myself deliciously widen for him, and bucked my hips upward to take his length completely.

He slid inside me, slowly, till he reached the sweet spot deep inside me that gave me absolute pleasure. I was in a blissful state as he began to thrust deep inside of me again and again. My legs wrapped around his ass, and I matched his rhythm. One hand tweaked my erect nipple, and the other brushed lightly against my clit.

I was coming already, and couldn't help but moan "ooooohhhhhhhhhh YES, MORE! FASTER!Oh yeah, THERE!" loudly.

I grabbed his face and clasped my lips against his, swirling my tongue against his, as he pounded into me with precision. My hands moved down to his ass where I squeezes his ass-cheeks, urging him even deeper. I had never felt anything so good. His hands stroked my entire body, moving in a sensual frenzy.

His fangs extended, puncturing the side of my tongue, and he hungrily sucked as he he growled.

My body was about to explode, in a euphoric rise of please, when-

I heard the swing of the doors opening. Someone had entered the room.

There was a blurry mass, and I felt Eric being shoved off of me. He only fell to the side, however, and his cock still remained inside of me. I whimpered with the loss of contact.

"Eric!" The voice boomed. "She is NOT yours!"

I looked over to see Bill hovering over the bed, his fangs extended, looking quite fierce.

"Compton." Eric said with a smirk. "I beg to differ."


End file.
